First Impressions: "Rush" + "Diana" (2013)

   Welcome back. :) This is part two of my recent cinema marathon, so you might want to check out part one first.

   Rush is an account of the 1976 Formula One season, especially the rivalry between James Hunt and Niki Lauda.
   Ordinarily, I probably would have skipped this movie, thinking it wouldn't be my cup of tea. But then I saw Film Brain's positively glowing review, and I decided to give it a chance. And boy am I glad I did! :)
   In a word, wow! This movie does something that all good sports movies should: it pulls you into the sporting mindset so that even someone who doesn't give a shit about the sport itself can still understand what makes it so exciting. (I can vouch for myself!:D) You can tell that the filmmakers are huge Formula One fans, and that passion is conveyed so absolutely and so effectively that the audience can't help but feel it themselves. That's what makes the racing scenes so exhilarating – as well as how perfectly they nail the sense of danger.
   The cinematography is also remarkable. It completes the period setting by adding a grain effect to the footage, so that you can't tell where the re-enactment ends and the stock footage begins.
   The performances, needless to say, are all top-notch, particularly the bitter but respectful relationship between the two leads.
   To sum it up, I found this movie every bit as exciting as a real Formula One fan would find the sport itself. And to think, I almost overlooked it! Hands down, my favourite movie of the year so far.
   My rating: 90%.

   And Diana chronicles the last two years of Princess Diana's life, with particular focus on her relationship with heart surgeon Hasnat Khan.
   This one, I only saw out of morbid curiosity. And, while I didn't think it quite lived up to its overwhelmingly bad reputation, it's still pretty lame.
   The biggest problem with it is just the fact that the love story takes up nearly all the screen time. And on top of that, it doesn't seem the least bit realistic; it feels like a trite piece of Sunday afternoon TV fluff. Even though I know nothing about Princess Diana myself, I can understand the animosity there: it's applying such a feeble story to a topic that, for a lot of people, is a very delicate subject.
   Diana's public life is hardly ever shown, and whenever it is, it always comes completely out of nowhere, like the movie suddenly remembered, "Oh yeah, maybe I should talk about that stuff too!" For God's sake, her divorce is completely skipped over and only mentioned in passing!
   Not to mention, the stereotyping is just absurd. There's one scene where the Princess is at a jazz club in disguise, and she howls with laughter when the host drops an F-bomb.
   So yeah, this movie's pretty ridiculous! But the reason why I give it two stars (out of five) instead of one is because I never found myself truly angry at it; it was all just dull and unremarkable.
   My rating: 35%.

First Impressions: "Prisoners" + "Captain Phillips" (2013)

   Now that I'm no longer broke, last week I decided to treat myself to something that's long overdue: a cinema marathon. :) I try to see as many movies as possible, you see, for the sake of my best-and-worst recap at the end of the year. Now, there are a couple of movies that it looks like I've sadly missed my chance to see before the end of the year, like About Time and White House Down, but I still got a pretty decent assortment this time. :) I saw four movies, so I think I'll divide them into two pairs.

   Prisoners principally follows two characters in the search for two missing girls: the distraught father trying to torture information out of the apparent culprit, and the police officer on the case.
   It's strange that, among so many movies this year based on true stories, this one apparently isn't! :) It plays itself so seriously that I kept expecting "a true story" to appear on screen.
   And it's that sense of realism that's the movie's greatest strength. That approach perfectly fits the grim, sombre tone the movie sets up – but never to the point where it gets depressing. Nothing feels farfetched or artificial, and the characters all seem like real people. In particular, major kudos to Hugh Jackman! :) Even though the character is being driven to horrific torture, every mannerism of his performance makes him seem just like an ordinary guy every step of the way. When he flips out, you really believe it!
   But while it's executed so brilliantly, it's not tailored completely to my taste. A lot of the dialogue is a little too simplistic for my liking, and the overall pacing is maybe a bit too slow to be truly engaging or suspenseful.
   It's also pretty disappointing that Hugh Jackman's wife gets tossed aside for almost the entire movie, but now I'm just nitpicking.
   Overall, while it plods a little too much for me, this is still one of the most impressive movies I've seen all year.
   My rating: 80%.

   Captain Phillips is an account of the Maersk Alabama hijacking in 2009, in which Captain Richard Phillips was taken hostage by Somali pirates.
   When I first heard about this movie, the first thing that struck me was how unbelievably lame the title was! I mean, how much more generic can you get? I thought, "That can't be the official title!" Luckily, the film itself turned out to be much more interesting. :)
   Since I don't know the true story, I thought it was going to take place entirely on the ship as the pirates' attacks are fended off. But actually, that's only the first half. The second half takes place on the lifeboat, as the pirates attempt to get the captain back to shore and the Navy tries to stop them peacefully. That adds a great diversity to the movie, constantly keeping things fresh and tense.
   This also applies to the character of Captain Phillips himself: he's given a good range of emotions to work with, from determinedly defending his ship to fearing for his life. I'm a huge Tom Hanks fan, and here he delivers yet another performance to be proud of. The only thing that might prevent him getting an Oscar nomination is that apparently the movie seriously twists the facts in order to portray the captain as more of a hero than he really was.
   Still, in its own right, this is a very enjoyable movie, rich in suspense and momentum.
   My rating: 75%.

To be continued…

My Top 10 Superior Sequels

   Well, since Halloween is later this week, I should probably do a horror-related list, but I haven't yet been able to compile one in any appropriate category. I am going to do my first movie list, though. :)
   When are we going to learn, folks, that sequels just kind of suck? Many of them are just half-assed cash-ins made to bank on the original's name, not offering anything new besides maybe copying the original formula and amplifying it.
   Of course, there are exceptions. Every once in a while, a sequel comes along that's a worthy follow-up. It's not quite as good as the original, but it still continues the story well and it's enjoyable in its own right. Back to the Future Part II, Iron Man 2 and The Godfather: Part II, for example.
   But very rarely do we see a sequel that is actually better than the original. And that's the theme of today's list.
   These are the sequels that I think surpass their predecessors, be they cleverer or just all-around more interesting.
   These are my picks for the top ten sequels that are better than the original.

#10 = Mad Max 2 (1981)

I'm not a fan of the first Mad Max; I think it's unnecessarily longwinded. The sequel, however, has much better control over its pacing; it's a much more solid movie. The original film took place in a society where law and order had only begun to break down, but in the sequel, society has crumbled altogether, producing a much harsher environment, summed up in the war over resources that's the main focus. Plus it features some of the best action scenes from the 80s – it's an all-around A+ action flick – and it is the movie that made Mel Gibson a star in the United States.


#9 = Evil Dead II (1987)

The original Evil Dead isn't bad, but this sequel completely supersedes it. Evil Dead II is a horror comedy masterpiece that's relentlessly entertaining and funny. The one scene that everyone remembers is when Ash is fighting his own demon-possessed hand, eventually cutting it off with a chainsaw. Then he traps that (still mobile) hand under a bucket, and weighs the bucket down with a couple of books including A Farewell to Arms! :D That scene alone makes this movie better than the original! But on top of that, he replaces his hand with a chainsaw for the third act! Now, that's badass! :)

#8 = Shrek 2 (2004)

Shrek 2 is not only one of the best sequels of all time: it's one of the best comedies of all time. The jokes are nonstop, and almost all of them hit their mark. The original is no dud, but the sequel easily trumps it in the joke department. It continues the same hilarious trend of modernising fairytales, like turning Far Far Away into Beverly Hills. The characters are great, particularly Puss in Boots with a Zorro persona. It doesn't make me laugh out loud all that much, but every joke is still well worked out and at least makes me smile.



#7 = Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

This is an unusual case, because The Wrath of Khan is not a sequel to the first Star Trek movie, but rather the episode Space Seed from the original TV series. It involves Khan out for revenge on Captain Kirk for his long-ago actions in that episode. It's one of the best tales of revenge ever told, rich in extremely quotable lines and themes of old age and obsession. It's basically Moby Dick in space. I don't think anyone denies that this movie is far superior to Star Trek: The Motion Picture, but I think it also surpasses the episode it's based on.


#6 = Spider-Man 2 (2004)

Spider-Man 2 is one of the best superhero movies I've ever seen. Firstly, it irons over many of the flaws from the first movie: the effects are much better, and there's nowhere near as much melodramatic dialogue. And it simply delivers everything you could ask for. The villain, Doctor Octopus, is amazing, especially in how sympathetic he is. The action scenes are outstanding, particularly the runaway train. And the story may not be too profound, but it still delivers the goods dramatically. Everything about this film is just right on. It's just too bad the third film went on to get it so wrong!

#5 = Aliens (1986)

I almost didn't include this, because it's probably not actually better than Alien. I'd say both films are equally good. But they're very different films, and I find Aliens to be much more inventive and exciting. Whereas Alien is a wonderfully atmospheric horror movie, Aliens is a fantastically intense action movie. The action scenes are frequent but never brainless; they're there to help move the story forward. Although you could argue that the stakes are higher in Alien because the characters aren't armed, Aliens adds a ticking clock that leads to white-knuckle tension in the climax, and by the end you're exhilarated.

#4 = Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

Raiders of the Lost Ark is the pinnacle of popcorn entertainment: it's simple but it's great fun. However, Last Crusade easily beats it out for me. It has a much more complicated and interesting story, in which Indy has to rescue his father and then help him to find the Holy Grail. I especially love the father/son relationship: Indy and his father make a hysterical comedic double-act. To top it all off, the action scenes are still some of the best ever shot, especially the tank chase, and the climax involving the brain-teasing death traps is nail-biting stuff. It's an all-around fantastic adventure.

#3 = Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

This is one of those rare sequels that truly tops the original on every front. The first Terminator, also directed by James Cameron, was a much bleaker, lower-key movie about a normal woman targeted for termination by a time-travelling robot. The sequel repeats this premise, but with a few twists. It's a bigger, more intricate and much more exciting movie. The plot is among the most profound in the action genre, actually posing questions about what it means to be human. What is morally permissible to avoid genocide? And it ends on the wonderful idea that the future's unwritten: you can always change it.

#2 = The Dark Knight (2008)

Batman Begins is a great movie. Christopher Nolan proved that he was the first Batman director to truly understand the character. But with his follow-up, The Dark Knight, he upped the ante to indescribable heights by creating a movie where the goal of the villain is not to destroy the hero, but to corrupt him. The Joker challenges Batman's way of thinking to prove that all of humanity is only a couple of nudges away from murderous insanity. It's one of the best-reviewed superhero movies of all time, confronting issues like morality, anarchy and personal responsibilities all in one intense, exciting package.

And my #1 superior sequel is… Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

The original Star Wars (no, I'm not going to call it Episode IV – A New Hope!) is basically a classic adventure story brought into space. Much like Last Crusade did with Raiders, Empire Strikes Back surpasses it by coming up with a much more intriguing story. It's divided into two parallel plotlines: Luke gets much deeper into his Jedi training, while his friends are chased by the Empire. The scope of the movie is just huge, and every single character and location leaves an impression. But what especially sticks in my head is how there's so much blue in the colour scheme, which makes the visual style as a whole most appealing to the eye. :) It's the best-acted and most emotionally strong of the Star Wars series, and one of the most epic movies ever made.

First Impressions: "Deus Ex: Human Revolution" (PS3)

   You play Adam Jensen, an ex-cop "augmented" with advanced prostheses, as he attempts to track down the men responsible for a brutal attack six months ago in which he was involved.
   I haven't played either of the first two Deus Ex games, but as I was playing this one, it never seemed like I'd missed any important story details. It wasn't until later that I discovered this is a prequel anyway! :) So as its own game, how is it?
   Well, the visuals are simply fantastic. The art design paints a pitch-perfect image of a dystopian future, completely enveloping you in a flawlessly realised atmosphere. This really is like a video game version of Blade Runner.
   The gameplay, too, is right up my street. :) It allows you to tailor the game to suit your preferred gaming style. Personally, I always prefer stealth over direct combat, so I was relieved to be able to take that approach for most of the game. The various augmentations you can upgrade just add all the more to the flavour. :)
   But, sadly, where the game really lost me was the story. It just never drew me in, mostly because it was all to do with politics and corporate conspiracies, which doesn't interest me in the slightest. So, for each mission, while I understood basically what to do, I didn't have a clue why.
   So, while the game looks gorgeous and was a fun gameplay experience, its subject matter just isn't my cup of tea.
   My rating: 70%.

First Impressions: "Iron Man 3", "Olympus Has Fallen" + "The Iceman" (2013)

   All right, I'm back with a couple more reviews! :) Because of a bunch of bureaucratic bullshit, I've been broke for the last couple of weeks, which is why I haven't rented anything or gone to the cinema for such a long time. But now I'm back with another trio of Xtra-vision rentals. :) (Yeah, the Xtra-vision in Sligo still hasn't closed down just yet.)

   In Iron Man 3, Tony Stark's world is shattered by a ruthless terrorist known as the Mandarin, forcing him back to basics with minimal hardware as he sets out to find his nemesis.
   As a fan of all these interconnected Marvel movies, naturally I was looking forward to this one. And, while I don't think it's one of the best overall, when it's good, it's really good.
   There were a few things that bothered me, so let's get those out of the way first. It tries to be more psychological than the first two movies by making Tony prone to panic attacks following the events of The Avengers, but nothing significant ever comes of that. It's also far more unexpectedly gruesome than the first two, including several scenes of torture. And the ending seems like it's trying to wrap up a trilogy, but nothing about the ending makes sense.
   But of course, where the movie shines is its action scenes, especially the big climactic battle. It's so entertaining that you're willing to forgive many of the film's shortcomings.
   But now let's address the elephant in the room: the Mandarin twist. :) I never read the comics myself, but I can understand why fans would feel betrayed. Personally, in the context of the movie, I think it works.
   Overall, while I would advise approaching with caution because it does get far more grisly than its predecessors, I'd still say this is worthy follow-up: equally humorous and exhilarating.
   My rating: 70%.

   Olympus Has Fallen is about a former Secret Service agent who happens to be in the White House when it's taken over by North Korean terrorists, and must stop them with a little help from his contacts on the outside.
   Does that sound like a rewrite of Die Hard to you? Well, surely no one would be that creatively bankrupt. To quote the Nostalgia Critic, they are when they frigging advertise it like that! Right on the front cover, it says "Die Hard in the White House". Subtext: "Throw out all originality, ye who enter here!"
   Even my impression of it as a movie is tired and unoriginal. Like so many other modern action movies, it's not fun: it's boring. It's full of shaky cam that's not fun to watch: just disorientating and frustrating.
   I also can't help noticing how grossly misogynistic the movie is. There's the death of the First Lady at the beginning, and the first hostage to be killed for a cheap shock death is a woman.
   But my biggest problem with the movie, and the main contributor to its insufferable boredom factor: it takes itself way too seriously. When the terrorists strike, the gunning down of innocent civilians makes it feel too much like a real terrorist attack. There's just no escapism to it.
   So, while it's at least bloodier and bolder than most action movies today, it unfortunately takes its authentic brutality too far. It's just all-around devoid of fun.
   My rating: 30%.

   And The Iceman is a biopic of the notorious contract killer Richard Kuklinski, who kept his true professional life hidden from his family.
   I have to admit, this is a hard movie to talk about. Since I don't know the true story, my only hope was the film would tell it well enough to hold my interest.
   Well, it half succeeded. During the first half, I was really struck by the earnestly morose tone, and could follow the proceedings without any difficulty. But, as the film progressed, I found it increasingly hard to understand what was going on and how the various events were connected – probably because I was having trouble cracking the dialogue. While I wasn't completely lost, it did leave me increasingly confused.
   The brilliance of Michael Shannon's performance as Kuklinski never faltered, though. :) He's portrayed as a very cold, professional killer, completely unflinching. But he still truly loves his family – indeed, as he puts it, they're the only people who mean anything at all to him. So, when they're threatened later on, you start to get desperately worried just as he does. Also, after Man of Steel, it's such a relief to see Michael Shannon give a performance to be proud of within the same year! :)
   To sum it up, while I might need to see it again to fully understand it, I'd still recommend this to anyone who wants to see a solid contract killer story. It's not great, but it's very effective.
   My rating: 70%.

My Top 10 Nostalgic Kids' Shows

   I haven't yet been able to compile a full top ten list of my absolute favourite TV shows, because I haven't yet seen enough that I consider that good. (And the same goes for books.) However, there is one TV category I've been able to fill out. I watched a lot of TV as a child, and there were quite a few shows that I really loved. So that's what I'll be looking back on today.
   We've all been through a nostalgic phase where we have an all-new respect for our childhood days. Of course, some of the things we loved back then, we look on with scorn or ridicule now. But, for this list, I'll be looking at the shows from my childhood that hold up the best, the ones that I can watch again as an adult and still totally enjoy.
   Now, some of these shows are still on today, but obviously I'm an old-school fan.
   So, get ready for the inner child in me to paint a big bright target on itself! :) These are my top ten favourite nostalgic kids' shows.

#10 = SuperTed (1982)
Looking back, I realise this is the stupidest idea in the entire world. I mean, just listen to how random the back-story in the opening of every episode is (http://youtu.be/A1lTt1jZekw)! If you'd never heard of the show before, you'd swear you were high listening to that! But, like all good kids' shows, it manages to turn this very silly premise into some pretty damn good adventures. It's also pretty funny how, in every single episode, the villain is invariably Texas Pete; the whole show is basically a parody of comic book superheroes, and I think that's one of the satire's more subtle layers.

#9 = The Magic Roundabout (1964)
This is another one that just seems like it was inspired by an illegal substance! :) It has a very bizarre visual style, with white ground, brightly coloured cardboard trees and all the strange stop-motion characters. But the English dub (because it seems it was originally a French show) has one thing going for it: a dry sense of humour that means just as many adults love it as children do. Just the fact that the RAF actually named a squadron of aircraft after characters from this show is a testament to that! Either way, it has plenty to keep all ages coming back.

#8 = Mr Benn (1971)
This is one of the most intelligent kids' shows I've ever seen (for the most part). It's about a man who visits a magic costume shop, and each costume he tries on leads to an adventure appropriate to that apparel. In every adventure, Mr Benn is faced with some kind of problem that he has to use intelligence and logic to solve, be it a circus crew working together to cross a chasm or outsmarting Indians in a game of hide-and-seek. Smart stories like this can only be good for children, so this is definitely a show I'd recommend to my own kids.

#7 = Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons (1967)
This is easily one of the darkest of Gerry Anderson's puppet-based shows. Right from the opening credits: they're far darker and less triumphant than contemporaries like Thunderbirds and Stingray. After all, it's a tale of an ongoing war with the deadly Mysterons from Mars. It does get goofy and implausible at times, but it's still a deliciously dark (pardon the repetition), epic story – helped all the more by the puppets' heads being correctly proportioned to the bodies for the first time, making them look more human than ever before. Plus, the first episode gets my vote as the best opening episode of all time.

#6 = Fireman Sam (1987)
As the theme song says, firemen are heroes living right next door, and this animated show does a great job at letting kids know that. I especially love all the gadgets packed into the fire engine, and how the firemen use them on the job. It's great how the characters are actually professionals: that sets a good example. :) Maybe the show doesn't accurately represent what a dangerous job firefighting is, but some episodes do get pretty intense as kids' shows go. Either way, these animated escapades are still cool to watch. And of course, need we forget the catchiest theme song of all time?

#5 = Old Bear Stories (1993)
This is one that I really underestimated. Not only does it really hold up for me personally: I think it's one of the best kids' shows ever made! It may not really have a plot to speak of – it's just the daily lives of these toys in the playroom – but the characters are what makes it worthwhile. I especially love the Christmas episode, where they aren't concerned about materialism like you'd expect, but instead they genuinely want to do something nice for others. Everything about this show is charming, and Anton Rodgers as the narrator layers the whole thing in class and dignity.

#4 = Thunderbirds (1965)
This is one show I just couldn't get enough of as a kid! :) It had action, it had gadgets, it had rockets, it had awesome vehicles, it had explosions – it was the ultimate combination of everything that boys love! Watching it today, it's still awesome. Though it is hilarious watching it in retrospect, especially how it's supposed to be set in 2065 and yet everything still runs on tapes! :D But still, with all the advanced technology dedicated to saving people in perilous situations, how can you not root for International Rescue? Plus, of course, there's Barry Gray's unforgettable theme tune.

#3 = The Animals of Farthing Wood (1993)
Here's an animated show that really treated us like adults. Much like the film version of Watership Down (with which, now that I think about it, it shares a very similar plot!), it wasn't afraid to shy away from the cruelty of nature. These animals are on a long journey to find a new home, and innumerable dangers face them along the way. The show is dark, sometimes bleak and occasionally violent, but it never feels gloomy. The animals all have distinct and appealing personalities, so we're always along for the ride, rooting for them, willing them to make it okay.

#2 = Postman Pat (1981)
This is another show that paints a very appealing image of a particular job, a familiar figure that people see every day. So why is it so high on the list? One reason: Postman Pat is funny as hell! :) I found plenty to laugh at as a kid, but there's even some humour that adults can laugh at too. The first series was obviously made on a very low budget, with jerky stop-motion and one narrator also singing the theme song, but that just adds all the more charm to it. It just overall brings endless delight, and it's still one of my favourites.

And my #1 nostalgic kids' show is… Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends (1984)
This was quite possibly the first show I ever saw, and it was definitely the one that most dominated my childhood; I was downright obsessed with this show! And it was the show that triggered my nostalgic phase years later. I'm not entirely sure why, though. In many ways, it is the perfect kids' show: it's bright and colourful, has well-written characters and sound morals. But aside from that, there's just something fascinating about focusing on steam engines. The Reverend Awdry said he wrote the original books because he used to live near a railway yard, and the engines always sounded like they were talking to each other; here, that idea's taken literally. It's also really clever how, unlike Pixar's Cars, the vehicles aren't the people in this world; they may be able to talk, but they still need crews to work them. It's just an all-around wonderful kids' show, and I'm glad it still continues to delight children even to this day.

My Top 10 Catchiest Pop Songs

   My next list is a music list. In many ways, this is the hardest kind of list for me to elaborate on, since I can't really analyse and explain music like I can with movies or video games. To me, as a casual listener, music is just a brief sound to elicit some kind of emotion. So don't be surprised if I don't bother filling a full hundred words (like I usually do) with these captions.
   The theme today is one particular trend in music: catchy songs. Yeah, you know the type! :) Whether you like it or not, they're extremely easy to get into the rhythm of, and they usually get stuck in your head afterwards, just waiting for inopportune moments to spring out from your subconscious and ruin your concentration.
   Now, when most people hear the word "catchy", I'd imagine they usually think of something upbeat and perhaps overly bouncy (I know I do), so that's the kind of songs I'll be restricting this list to. There are plenty of songs that are memorable for other reasons, but I'm just going by the ones that fit that aforementioned definition of the word catchy.
   So these are the top ten catchiest songs… that I have in my own collection.

#10 = The Bright Side of Life (Monty Python)
I'll be honest: the main reason this is on the list is because of its association with Life of Brian. Really, it's a pretty basic song – nothing special by most standards. But I guess that just makes it all the catchier! :) Neither does that make its message any less true, and you can't deny that, at the end of Life of Brian, it really is the perfect way to end the movie.

#9 = 1985 (Bowling for Soup)
Now, Bowling for Soup usually do pretty cheesy songs anyway, but this just has to take the cake. Its jaunty melody ensures that you don't forget any of the 80s tropes riddled throughout its lyrics. In a way, it almost matches the 80s pop culture for cheese factor! :)

#8 = Heaven Is a Place on Earth (Belinda Carlisle)
I don't really have any special comment to make about this one; just listen to it yourself and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. But listen at your own risk! :)

#7 = Push the Button (Sugababes)
God, I hate this song! This is one that happens to be the especially annoying kind of catchy. Most people seem to like this style of the Sugababes, but I prefer their more melodic stuff, when they show that they're better singers than most other girl groups. This song just annoys the fuck out of me! I may own the Taller in More Ways album, but this track is most certainly not on my iPod!

#6 = anything from the Feeling's Twelve Stops and Home album
Twelve Stops and Home is right up there with Keane's Hopes and Fears as one of my ultimate favourite albums, and I loved just about every song on it right from the first time I heard it. Every single one, be it slow or bouncy, is instantly memorable, making the whole album more than eligible for the number six spot.

#5 = The Way You Make Me Feel (Michael Jackson)
I could probably fill the whole top ten with Michael Jackson songs, but for me, this one takes the cake. I mean, if you're not tapping your foot by the end of this song, something's wrong with you! :)

#4 = Buffalo Soldier (Bob Marley & the Wailers)
This is another one where I think the song speaks for itself. I will say, though, that when the backup voices start singing along with Bob Marley, that just hammers the title into your head all the more. I think it may be for that reason alone that, as a teenager, I heard this song on the radio once, and I never forgot it.

#3 = I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) (The Proclaimers)
I'm running into this problem with a lot of these songs: I can't really find the words to describe them, nor do I see much point. Like I said before, that's my attitude to music in general: you can't explain it, but you can certainly feel it.

#2 = Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go (Wham!)
But I definitely have something to say about this one! :) Just simply listening to it, it sounds like one of the jolliest songs ever recorded. But listen to the lyrics. They're depressing as fuck! I don't think a song about being ditched while you sleep has ever sounded so happy! :) Happy enough to take the number two spot!

And the #1 catchiest song in my collection is… Last Friday Night (TGIF) (Katy Perry)
Goddamn this song! From the minute you hear it, it is never going to leave your head! But, much like Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, its lyrics aren't quite as jolly as the track makes them sound. It's a song about having the ultimate party, true, but the things they do at this party are pretty dodgy! In fact, funny bit of trivia here: I heard this song in Tesco once, and they must have been trying to censor the ménage à trois part by muting it, but they were too late to the punch, so it was heard loud and clear, and the second or so following that line was muted instead! :D That's Katy Perry for you: laying such naughty lyrics over such an irresistible melody! :) I mean, once you hear Last Friday Night once, it will never ever go away!

   And those are my top ten catchiest songs – or at least the ones that I can recall offhand. I'm sure, if I actually run through my iTunes, I'll find plenty of other contenders.

"Half-Life 2" Full Review

   Earlier this week, I listed my top ten favourite video games, and I mentioned at the end that Half-Life 2 didn't quite make the list, even though it's often considered to be the greatest game of all time. Well, I think that's enough of a cause for my first full review. :) You see, I set myself a word limit on the "first impressions" reviews I normally post: no more than 250 words. And the same goes for my top ten lists: I limit each caption to 100–105 words. Now you'll get a sample of what happens when I allow myself to go into more detail. :)
   I already did a "first impressions" review of Half-Life 2 a long time ago, but I did actually write a full review afterwards and shared it with some of my friends. Well, now I feel it's time to share it with all of you. :) 

   First of all, for those of you not familiar with it, I'd better set up the story and the environment that the game takes place in.
   I haven't yet played the first Half-Life, but I've read up on it. In that game, you play Gordon Freeman, a young theoretical physicist trying to escape from the secret underground Black Mesa Research Facility, where an experiment into teleportation technology has gone disastrously wrong – an event that later became known as the "Black Mesa incident". Aliens from the alternate dimension Xen enter through the dimensional seams and flood the facility. And in order to escape, you must fight your way past both the hostile aliens and a US Marine Corps special operations unit dispatched to cover up the incident.
   Now, Half-Life 2 takes place some time after the events of Half-Life 1, and the story is that an alien race called the Combine has invaded Earth and basically enslaved humanity. So the game basically takes place in a dystopian future, with the Combine implementing a brutal police state. Now, Gordon Freeman has returned, and he's basically trying to rescue an old friend and colleague who's being held prisoner in the Combine Citadel – but he unintentionally stirs up a rebellion against the Combine along the way, because the resistance sees him as a saviour who will lead them to freedom.

   And, before I start detailing my own opinions, I'd better give a brief overview of some of the enemies you face. It'll come in handy later. :) 

• Headcrabs are perhaps the most common enemies in the game. They're parasitic life forms about the size of watermelons, and they can leap surprising distances and heights to catch their prey. When they catch and bond with a human host, they mutate the host into a mindless zombie. As well as standard headcrabs (top), which have thin skin and round bodies, there are fast headcrabs (middle) (which are smaller, spider-like and very… well, fast) and poison headcrabs (bottom), which are much darker in colour.

• Barnacles are predators with bodies about two to three feet wide. They attach to ceilings, the underside of bridges and so on, and drop down a very long, highly adhesive tongue. When something gets stuck to a barnacle's tongue, it retracts it slowly into its maw and eats the prey alive.

• Antlions are insect-like creatures as big as people, and apparently live in underground hives very similar to ants. You find them mainly on (or rather under) the beaches along Highway 17, and if you step on the sand and disturb them, they come out onto the surface and attack. 
• Antlion Guards are among the most feared creatures and the most powerful in the Half-Life universe. They're as big as elephants, and far more aggressive than regular Antlions. They charge and headbutt you, doing a great deal of damage. Fortunately, you only face three of them in the entire game.
• You also face hordes of Combine soldiers throughout the whole game, fighting back with a variety of weapons including a submachine gun, a Magnum, a crossbow, grenades and a pulse rifle.

   But the biggest trademark of Half-Life 2 is the Gravity Gun, one of the most jaw-dropping weapons in video game history. The Gravity Gun allows you to pick up objects and launch them at enemies. So with this weapon, everything becomes ammo! :D Furniture, crates, circular saw blades, exploding barrels – anything in your vicinity can become a projectile!

   And now, on to my own personal opinion on the game! :)
   In short, I loved it. But it has a number of detractors that keep it from being one of my top favourites.
   But let me start off with some positives. I just adore the premise, which I've already gone over. And all the characters that inhabit this world are just awesome.
   There's not much point in discussing the graphics, but I just love the physics of the whole thing and how realistic everything's made to be. I especially like how, during the driving stages, you can get out of your vehicle and realise exactly how much ground you're covering; that really did feel real. I remember someone saying at one point that you won't get very far on foot. That's absolutely right! :)

   Now, video games usually alternate between gameplay and pre-rendered cutscenes that detail their plotlines. But Half-Life 2, just like its predecessor, never takes control away from you for the entirety of the game. It all plays out from a first-person perspective, and the game has no cutscenes, instead integrating scripted sequences into the background. At the time, that must have been groundbreaking.
   On one hand, I love the sense of realism that this style of gameplay attempts to convey: how you feel like you're actually wandering freely through these events as Gordon Freeman. But, on the other hand, it does call attention to the fact that it's just a game, especially in how you have no concept of where a sound's coming from and that sort of thing – you know, the sense of your surroundings that you have in real life. So, the first time playing through, you can't tell where you're supposed to look to see important details in the story sections.
   That also becomes a problem during combat. Having a point-of-view perspective and a rather slow turning speed means that you can easily lose track of enemies – especially headcrabs, who can leap up at you and end up behind you. Several times while trying to defend myself from headcrabs, I just found myself going, "Where the fuck are you?!" Other times, it's obvious that a soldier's shooting at you, but you can't tell where you're being shot at from – again, because you can't just follow the sound. That's the problem with first-person games: they just leave you thinking, "I think it's pretty safe to say that it'd be easier to do this in real life!"

   Actually, the combat itself is my main problem with the game. Being mainly an action shooter, Half-Life 2 is very heavy on combat – too much so for my liking. Playing this game, I came to the conclusion that shooters really aren't my thing. In fact, that's why it took me so long to get through the game: my progress was very slow and methodical, saving before each obstacle and trying repeatedly to get past it while keeping as much health and ammo intact as possible. Basically, I was playing through it one step at a time with the mindset of "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again".
   In fact, my favourite stages were always the ones that didn't involve direct combat. For example, any battle that gave me an excuse to use the crossbow from a distance was the most fun. In other words, sniping was my preferred method of attack.

   Speaking of my favourite stages, there are too many standout moments to talk about, but I'll tell you my three absolute favourites.
   In the Sandtraps chapter, I love the sequence where you have to avoid stepping on the sand. That finally gives you a break from all the fighting, instead relying on nervous tension. And if I accidentally touched the sand and heard the rumble of the Antlions coming up, I could just reload from my last save point.
   Then, in the same chapter, there comes a whole section where you use an Antlion pheropod to get an army of Antlions at your command! You can send them to scout ahead and attack any enemies they find. That is awesome! :D Just when I was beginning to hate the Antlions, too! :)
   And, towards the end, when you actually get into the Combine Citadel… well, first of all, I loved the free ride in this transport pod, where you can simply observe your surroundings! :) But then you're dropped into a confiscation chamber and stripped of all your weapons – except for the Gravity Gun, which disrupts the confiscation field, and is also disrupted itself so it becomes stronger than ever before. Now you can pick up and throw the soldiers themselves! Well, the Gravity Gun was great fun before, but now it kicks major assage! :D

   And let me just end with a bit of a confession.
   The enemies in this game… they scare the shit out of me! No kidding: the alien creatures are more terrifying than anything I've seen in a horror film! And I think the first-person perspective just enhances that: you always feel like they're out to get you.
   If you were to ask me which one I find the absolute scariest… well, headcrabs in general immediately spring to mind – no pun intended! :) Especially how, all throughout the game (even as far as the Citadel), a headcrab occasionally springs from nowhere and makes you jump out of your skin. But by far the most nerve-racking are the poison headcrabs, for reasons I don't even need to explain. That and, in the Ravenholm mines, which are infested with both the fast and poison variety, the poison ones can easily be distinguished by how slowly they move; something about that slow crawl just makes them even more unsettling.

   Also, I'd say the fast headcrabs produce the scariest zombies. It's kind of hard to describe a fast headcrab zombie, but just take a look. How frightening would it be to see something like that coming after you? Especially since they run after you somewhat in the manner of dogs.
   But in terms of what personally creeps me out the most… the barnacles. God, I fucking hate those things! I mean, I know they can't move, and you can easily shoot at them even as they're pulling you in. But still, the idea of being slowly pulled up to such a terrible death… it's just horrific! So as soon as you see those long tongues dangling from the ceiling up ahead, you know it's bad news! Fortunately, they'd be very easy to avoid in real life. But in the game, most of the time, they're right in your way! And the fact that they're mostly found in dark, dank sewers makes them even more unpleasant to think about.

   To cut it all very short, I think Half-Life 2 is excellent in almost every respect, but very frustrating. If it had just cut down on the shoot-'em-up aspect, it would have been perfect.
   My rating: 95%.

My Top 10 Favourite Video Games

   This is something I've thought about doing for a long time. Tonnes of people do top ten lists, and I'm no exception; I've compiled a few of my own. So I've decided to start sharing them with you now, on a schedule of maybe one each week.
   But before we start, I should point out that, since I can sometimes grossly overwrite stuff, I generally aim to keep the explanatory captions in my lists limited to a hundred words or so – unless I feel really passionate about the number one pick.

   So, with that out of the way, let's start with my top ten favourite video games. This should be an interesting one! :)
   While I did grow up playing games, and still maintain an interest in it today, I'm not what you'd call a gamer. (Actually, my best friend John's a far more avid gamer than I am, and it's thanks to him that I came across many of the games on this list in the first place.) But, with that said, I have played several that strike me as real masterpieces. And here they are.
   I should point out, by the way, that most of these games aren't exclusive to the platforms I specify. Most modern-generation games are released for every console, as well as the PC. I've played several of these games on multiple platforms; I'm just listing the ones I like best.
   So, without further ado, let's get started. :)

#10 = Back to the Future: The Game (PC)

Back to the Future is one of my favourite movies of all time, and this spin-off from Telltale Games does not disappoint! :) This game literally feels exactly like the movies, with the same intriguing plot and sharp sense of humour. As with many adventure games, especially from Telltale, there's more of a focus on story and puzzle solving than on action. Most of the puzzles here aren't exactly easy, but they're not so difficult as to get frustrating. It's probably nothing special by most standards, but it's such a treat for fans of the series that it deserves a spot on the list.


#9 = Sam & Max: Season One (PC)

Sam & Max is just nuts! The characters are insane, the settings are insane, the stories are insane… but there's still logic to it, there's still method in all that madness! :) Sam and Max, a tall dog and a short white rabbit respectively, are "freelance police" on a different case in each of these six episodes. It's another adventure game from Telltale, but the puzzles here are much more difficult. There are two more packaged seasons of Sam & Max, but I'll always hold the first one closest to my heart for introducing me to all this series' inspired creativity and uproarious humour.

#8 = Psychonauts (PS2)

This is another game just bursting with creativity. The eponymous Psychonauts are basically elite soldiers with enhanced mind powers, and you play a boy in a psychic summer camp. You occasionally go inside people's minds, and the visual representative worlds are pure genius – and sometimes even lead to laugh-out-loud humour. True, the jumping controls can get really frustrating, and the game does drag on a bit, with more false endings than Return of the King (yeah, no joke!), but it's still a tonne of fun to play, and it's bursting with so many clever ideas that it never ceases to amaze.

#7 = Dino Crisis (PS1)

When I was a teenager, this was probably the game you'd find me playing most often. I've always loved dinosaurs, but this is one of very few times when they've actually been scary! The great thing about Dino Crisis is that the dinosaurs rarely appear, which really keeps you on edge, because you know there could be another one around any corner. That's what makes good horror. The story does get increasingly preposterous, but I'm willing to let it pass; I still get swept up in it. Plus, I dare you to ignore that cold shiver when the screen shakes as the T-Rex gets closer!

#6 = Super Mario Bros (Nintendo consoles)

Yeah, I couldn't pick one Mario game; I'm just encompassing the whole franchise! :) Every Nintendo console has its definitive Mario title: Super Mario Bros 3, Super Mario World, Super Mario 64, Super Mario Galaxy – I love them all. In any generation, the Mario franchise defines the word "fun". But then, the same can be said of Sonic the Hedgehog and Donkey Kong Country and many other old-school console games, which makes it hard not to fill the whole list with titles like that. But Mario still continues to reign supreme, so I'd say he's most deserving of a spot on the list.

#5 = Spider-Man: The Movie (PS2)

Released as a tie-in to the first Sam Raimi Spider-Man, this game rightly boasted that it went beyond the movie. It doesn't really follow the plot of the film, but instead comes up with a new story incorporating other characters from the comics, like Vulture and the Shocker. The game is immensely fun, because it really does make you feel like Spider-Man. You never get tired of beating up goons, be it with your fists or your webbing. :) But by far my favourite part is when you have to sneak around Oscorp without being seen; stealth levels like that really pile on the tension.


#4 = The Sims 2 (PC)

Since The Sims is a concept without an ending, it's more of a constant activity than a game. The countless ways in which The Sims 2 improved on the original Sims just blew my mind. You have access to just about everything you could ask for to make your Sims' home life complete. Since I don't tune into much TV, I'm currently using The Sims 2 as my alternative, a TV soap that I have complete control over! :) I haven't played The Sims 3, nor do I wish to; The Sims 2 is already more than good enough for me.



#3 = Fahrenheit [AKA Indigo Prophecy] (PS2)

Fahrenheit is more like an interactive story than a game – and a really damn good one. It's a murder story in which you play both the murderer and the police on the case, both equally determined to find the truth. It starts out relatively slow and gradually pulls you in, so that before long you're seized inescapably in the heart-stopping excitement of it all. The quick time events (moments where you simply have to press the right button at the right time), which dictate the action scenes, being so user-friendly certainly helps. Plus the characters are all memorable and the music is just fantastic.

#2 = Beyond Good & Evil (PS2)

Oh my God, I love this game! :D I can't possibly praise it enough! The world of Hillys, combining humans and anthropomorphic animals, is probably my favourite fictional world ever. It has a brilliant storyline involving a rebel organisation exposing a deadly conspiracy. Just like Spider-Man, it's full of stealth sections that really get your heart pounding. But it also has intense combat scenes, flying scenes and even racing scenes – it has everything you could ask for. :) And the music… the whole soundtrack is outstanding! Any way you look at it, Beyond Good & Evil is a masterpiece. I adore it to death.

And my #1 favourite game of all time is… Portal (PS3)

Portal is, quite simply… the most perfect thing I've ever seen in my life! I'm serious, man: I have absolutely no problems with this game whatsoever! To me, this is about as close to perfection as a piece of entertainment can get. At first, it seems like one long series of puzzles involving portals as you make your way through this testing facility (which is good enough already, 'cos I love puzzles!), but as it progresses and the real story of the game begins to surface, it gets dead serious – and the way it gradually makes that transition is amazing. I could gush on about this game for hours, but it wouldn't help any; I just can't do it justice! It's unique, creative, dark, gripping, funny… and like I said before, just all-around perfect.

   Thanks for reading. Whether or not you agree with my picks, I hope you enjoyed the list. If you haven't played any of these games yet, I highly recommend you give them a try. (Though I should mention that Portal only seems to be available in The Orange Box, a package that also includes Half-Life 2, which is widely considered to be the greatest game of all time. I too think it's an amazing game, but it doesn't quite make the top ten for me.)
   Stay tuned for another top ten list next week.