Well, I'm not going to lie: this was a busy week! :D
Battle Royale (2000)
Ever since The Hunger Games came out, I've heard this movie mentioned in connection with it several times. And, while I liked the first Hunger Games, I'll be the first to say this is far superior. :) Unlike The Hunger Games, which pussed out by censoring the violence, in Battle Royale there is blood, blood, blood everywhere! And the notion of kids killing each other seems all the more real and horrific because they're still in school uniform. If you're sick of movies that shy away from the inherent violence of their subject matter, give this one a watch and refresh yourself. :) My rating: 85%.
Pain & Gain (2013)
Needless to say, since I hate Michael Bay with a fiery passion, I was not looking forward to this movie. And, sadly, it turned out not to be the one exception that I'd been hoping for. It's not as annoying as Bad Boys or as noisy as Armageddon or as all-around loathsome as Transformers 2… but it's so boring! It's a two-hour movie, but it feels more like four! It does perk up a bit towards the end, though; my favourite scene is when they're trying to dismember the bodies. But aside from that, their ineptitude at crime and pretty stupid dispositions just don't make for an interesting movie – at all. My rating: 25%.
Iron Man: Rise of Technovore (2013)
This isn't a bad Iron Man story: a foe who combines nanotechnology and biotechnology, and can control them completely on a whim, seems virtually impossible to overcome. But the overall tone of the movie is what kills it. The whole thing seems very dark, desolate and dreamlike; it completely defies the expectations of someone like me, who's only seen the Robert Downey Jr. movies. That's why my favourite scene is when Iron Man and the Punisher are trying to escape from Hawkeye and Black Widow: the tone of that scene makes it seem like it's from a completely different movie! :) But the rest is just not much fun. My rating: 45%.
Superman: Unbound (2013)
After Man of Steel, this movie is a godsend! :D I haven't read the comic story arc it's based on, but the story works unbelievably well as an animated film regardless. Superman discovers that Brainiac has the Kryptonian city of Kandor imprisoned in one of his many glass jars, and is determined to rescue it while also preventing Brainiac from reaching Earth – so he has a more personal goal as well as the safety of the world at heart. And hot damn is it a tonne of good-natured fun! It never stops being entertaining, not even for a second! So thank God there was at least a good alternative Superman movie this year. :) My rating: 85%.
March of the Dinosaurs (2011)
This is more like what I wanted with the upcoming Walking with Dinosaurs movie, not the complete betrayal that the trailer implies. It's presented as a documentary, complete with a narrator, but it proves that even the natural world can make for a compelling narrative. I really felt for little Scar when all that shit happens to him after he gets isolated! At first I was sceptical about the tyrannosaurs being feathered, but I think they really pulled it off. Stephen Fry as the narrator is every bit as awesome as expected. And once you get used to the cheap CGI, it really gets the job done. So on the whole, I loved it. My rating: 85%.
Ghostbusters: The Video Game (PS3)
Like many movie-licensed games, there's more of a focus on storytelling than on any sort of groundbreaking gameplay. And the gameplay mechanics are a bit dodgy in this case; even catching ghosts like in the movies isn't as much fun as I thought, mostly because I'm not the best aim with an analogue controller. And to be honest, I was never a big Ghostbusters fan, so I didn't even get that much into the story. But I commend it for bringing in higher stakes than either of the movies, and the atmosphere of the other dimensions you enter is expertly creepy. Overall, it's okay. My rating: 65%.
And now for this week's trio of Xtra-vision rentals. :) I mentioned last week that they had an offer on: unlimited movies for just €25 a month, which would work out far cheaper than the €10 per batch I usually pay. Well, I inquired about that in store, and it turns out I can only rent two at a time with that deal. And you know me: I usually rent three at once – and there are so many movies coming up that I'm going to need to keep that up. And I live so far out of town that coming in twice a week is quite out of the question. So fuck the €25 offer. It would be awesome to take advantage of it, but I can't. :(
The Internship (2013)
After a somewhat promising start – it wasn't making me laugh much but I loved the interplay between the two leads – the script devolves into a completely formulaic disappointment. The internship programme is made into a series of very childish game-like challenges. I saw this movie already this year: it was called Monsters University! The antagonist is just a completely immature jerk, and I somehow doubt Google headquarters is that much like a kids' fun world. For what it's worth, the performances are pretty solid and Rose Byrne gets a few good laughs, but the entire premise is just… stupid. My rating: 55%.
Only God Forgives (2013)
Now I understand why this movie was reportedly booed at Cannes! For one thing, the pacing is staggeringly slow; by the 25-minute mark, only ten minutes' worth of material has actually happened! There's so much red in the colour scheme; it's just downright uncomfortable to look at! But above all, the movie's depiction of depravity is deplorable because it's completely shallow; we know nothing about any of the characters, so all you're left with is the actual horrible acts they commit. It's a truly reprehensible film, right up there with The Purge as one of the two worst movies I've seen all year. My rating: turkey.
Despicable Me 2 (2013)
This movie was pretty much what I expected: a basic but earnest, energetic and fun kids' movie. As a sequel, I'm glad it didn't just revert to the status quo: Gru is still an affectionate father, accepting an espionage operation rather than another great evil scheme. Most of the movie is played as a comedy, and many, many jokes hit their mark. The minions, of course, steal every single scene they're in, my personal favourite being Lucy's driving scene early on. :D On the other hand, I've always hated Kristen Wiig, and this is no exception. But all in all, it's nothing great, but the most enjoyable kind of mindless fun. My rating: 70%.
And finally, I went up to Dublin for what will most likely be my last cinema marathon of the year. True, I'll probably go and see Carrie and Saving Mr Banks back-to-back, but I'd say it's debatable whether or not a pair of movies constitutes a marathon. :)
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)
I'm sure I'm in a minority on this, but I didn't like this nearly as much as the first Hunger Games. It's almost a complete retread of the first movie, just with slightly different stakes. And it's a little hard to care about the drama, especially the romantic stuff, when the characters are all flat as pancakes. Still, at least the camera work's better this time around: not nearly as much shaky cam, thank God! :) And, while these movies aren't as ballsy as Battle Royale, this one did remind me that they work in a different sort of way: the terror in realising that everyone around you is dying. The first one was rather flawed, but this one is just tired. My rating: 60%.
Free Birds (2013)
DUMB! This is DUMB! And yes, of course I knew going in that it was going to be, but what I saw… oh, God! The whole thing is just one mind-bogglingly stupid moment after another! It's not funny either – not at all – which calls all the more attention to the stupidity and, for me, is the reason it all fails so badly. Practically every single scene had me facepalming! It just blows my mind that anyone would greenlight this, would invest money in it! This movie is my poster child for the sorry state of children's entertainment these days! It's all just… AAARRRGGGHHH!!! WHYYYYYYY?!!!!! My rating: turkey – pun most certainly not intended!
Don Jon (2013)
This movie seems much more truthful and grounded in reality than most other romantic movies I've seen. It acknowledges that relationships aren't one-sided and there's a lot of work involved. Both Jon and Barbara are really selfish in their own ways: Jon for only being in it for his own pleasure, and Barbara for trying to take control of Jon and change who he is. Also, on a more personal note, when Jon says Barbara is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen… it's Scarlett Johansson, so I'm right there with him! :) It's a good movie, and I hope Joseph Gordon-Levitt comes up with some more ideas so he can write and direct again. :) My rating: 75%.
The Counsellor (2013)
I know there are people who like this movie, but the majority seem to hate it. While I didn't totally dislike it myself, it definitely failed to draw me in. Most of the dialogue scenes didn't seem to advance the plot any, so they came off as a bit pretentious. And, since it's all to do with business dealings (albeit shady ones), I didn't have a clue what these people were talking about anyway – though I could grasp basically what was at stake. While several scenes are superficially shocking, the characters are so boring that I never truly cared. Overall, it was mostly just kind of underwhelming. My rating: 40%.
What can you say about Alfred Hitchcock? He's one of the most famous and influential film directors of all time, and aptly named the Master of Suspense. Throughout his career, he made over fifty movies, and a great many of them have become classics.
Now, I'll freely admit to having not seen all his movies yet, so this list may not be definitive. For example, I haven't seen The Lady Vanishes, which, from the sound of it, would be a sure-fire contender for this list.
But, out of the Hitchcock movies that I've seen to date, I'm here today to count down my ten personal favourites.
#10 = Shadow of a Doubt (1943)
An ordinary suburban family is going through a pretty boring phase, but their life becomes much more cheerful when Uncle Charlie arrives to visit. At first, his niece, Young Charlie, is ecstatic. But after a while, she begins to suspect that he may be a murderer on the run from the law. It starts out as disappointment and nervousness, and then it all leads to a deadly game of cat-and-mouse, where it looks like Uncle Charlie may just be trying to kill his own beloved niece. This is one of Hitchcock's earliest true masterpieces – and it just happened to be his own personal favourite. :)
#9 = Dial M for Murder (1954)
A man plans to murder his wife, so he blackmails an old friend into committing the murder for him. But when it all goes wrong, he improvises a brilliant plan B. In contrast to Shadow of a Doubt, it seems Hitchcock didn't care at all about this one. In fact, he never showed up on set; he literally phoned it in! It's a shame, because it's actually a pretty intriguing crime story. It makes you wonder what you'd do in this guy's shoes. And the conclusion just goes to show that sometimes the smallest, most insignificant thing can be your biggest mistake.
#8 = Notorious (1946)
The American daughter of a convicted Nazi spy is asked by government agents to spy on a group of her father's Nazi friends. Through a series of events that I won't get into, they basically uncover a smuggling plot. But that's not the focus of the story. It's much more about how far this woman has to go in order to find the truth. It even gets to the point where she has to marry her target in spite of her relationship with her contact. It's a story of duty versus love, led by two terrific performances by Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman.
#7 = Frenzy (1972)
It's about a man falsely accused of being a serial killer who murders women with neckties. In many ways, it's as basic a tale of mistaken identity as it sounds. But the main character is what makes it stand out. Jon Finch is phenomenal in the role; when it comes to playing characters with tempers, he was the best. :) There are also two particular noteworthy moments: a truly uncomfortable rape scene early on, and a sequence that makes you squirm while making the killer seem more human at the same time. In short, the film's very entertaining and, for me, sort of underrated.
#6 = Rebecca (1940)
Hitchcock was clearly a fan of Daphne du Maurier, having also adapted Jamaica Inn and The Birds to the screen! :) Rebecca is the story of an unnamed young woman who marries a rich man, but his home estate is still haunted by the memory of his late wife Rebecca. It's a brilliant psychological drama that's relentlessly tense and enthralling, right from the chilling opening narration. I also really love the scene where Maxim is describing what happened the night Rebecca died: the way the camera moves to match his words, you can see the events in your head as clear as day. Good stuff.
#5 = Psycho (1960)
Do I even need to comment on this one? :) It has to be one of the most influential thrillers of all time. At first, it follows this woman who's stolen $40,000, making it seem like she'll be the star of the movie. But, a short way in, she checks into the Bates Motel, and her story comes to a violent end in the "shower scene", as it's always called – one of the most famous movie moments ever. To fully describe the ingenuity of Psycho, I would have to reveal the whole plot – and obviously I won't do that! :) Just watch it and see for yourself.
#4 = Strangers on a Train (1951)
This was the first Hitchcock movie I ever saw, at a time when I was very dismissive of black-and-white movies. But by the time I was halfway through, I was totally hooked! :) It's about an innocent man whom a stranger tries to convince that they should "swap" murders, thinking they both have someone they want dead. He refuses, but when his nagging ex-wife turns up dead, he becomes the prime suspect. The tennis match scene has to be one of Hitchcock's most iconic moments, and the big chase sequence in the climax has me on the edge of my seat every time.
#3 = Vertigo (1958)
It's about Scottie, an acrophobic detective who, as a favour to an old friend, accepts one last job: to watch over his friend's suicidal wife. But he desperately falls in love with her. The rest of the movie is kind of hard to explain, because it's not about what's literally happening on the surface. It's about what's going on in Scottie's mind, how he's obsessing over this woman and going completely insane. It's truly remarkable how well the movie pulls you right into his mindset. It's simply a masterpiece among psychological thrillers. In fact, it recently replaced Citizen Kane as the "greatest film ever made"! :)
#2 = North by Northwest (1959)
It's about an innocent man who's being chased all across the country by both the police who think he's a terrorist, and actual terrorists who think he's a government agent. The plot gets much more complicated than that, but it's still easy to follow. The movie can be enjoyed for its individual set pieces – including the famous crop duster sequence and the climax atop Mount Rushmore – but overall it's both a hilarious comedy and a suspenseful thriller rolled into one. Hitchcock made a lot of cross-country reluctant hero stories, but for me and a lot of other people, this one takes the cake.
And my #1 favourite Hitchcock movie is… Rear Window (1954)
It's about Jefferies, a photographer recovering from a broken leg. He's so bored he spends most of his time spying on his neighbours through his rear window, and begins to suspect that one of them has committed murder. The real genius of this movie is how it never leaves this one location, which puts us right into the character's shoes: trying to solve the mystery without ever leaving his apartment. I also really like how every one of the neighbours has their own story going on, which makes the neighbourhood – and the movie – seem much more complete. There's nothing else I can say without spoiling the plot, though. It's all flawlessly photographed and edited – nothing less than the work of a master. It's definitely one of Hitchcock's definitive classics for a reason, and my personal favourite.
Well, looking at the list I compiled of what was coming up, I realised I was so behind on rentals that I had to rent two batches this week! I was also going to see The Counsellor and Don Jon in the cinema… but sadly my grandfather died peacefully on Wednesday, and I would have had to go up to Dublin to see them, so I respectfully stayed at home.
So it's with a heavy heart that I give you this week's batch of reviews. I'm literally posting this the day after the funeral. Needless to say, we're all trying to keep a positive outlook, remembering the good life he had. Not only was he the nicest, jolliest guy I could ever call grandfather, but he was a real trooper! :)
After Earth (2013)
I get the feeling this was a pet project of Will Smith's – to make a movie with his son in the starring role – so it may seem cruel to pick on it. But let's not kid ourselves: this movie is terrible. The script is beyond awful, with more lapses in logic than I can even count! One thing that constantly drove me nuts was how they were so inconsistent with the duration of those oxygen filters. And I can predict the whole "fear is a choice" thing becoming another infamous Shyamalan meme. It's not a bad idea – a father and son stranded on a hostile planet – but ends up one of the worst sci-fi movies ever made. My rating: 20%.
The Purge (2013)
Good God! I could write a whole essay on how stupid this movie is! Other people have already pointed out how implausible the whole concept of the Purge is; the movie's trying to make a statement about poverty by pretending it understands the criminal mind. And by God, the characters are complete morons! The family will be left alone if they just give these people the guy they want, so why Charlie insisted on helping the guy out, risking killing the whole family, was quite beyond me! It's just all-around one of the most insufferably stupid movies I've ever seen. My rating: 15%.
The Kings of Summer (2013)
The Kings of Summer is a pretty straightforward drama that I really enjoyed… which makes it somewhat harder to comment on. :) It's about three teenage friends who, determined to get away from their parents who are driving them crazy, decide to build a house in the woods and start their own independent life. How well the premise works depends on how much you like the characters, and I for one was completely drawn in. It's not all played entirely straight, though: the film has a very sly sense of humour that never feels out of place. It's a movie definitely worth checking out. My rating: 75%.
The Bling Ring (2013)
After a promising opening scene, boy does this movie go downhill fast! We're never given an inkling of why these characters are robbing people, so we can't identify with them, therefore most of the movie just being an endless string of robberies just started to bore me after a while. The movie doesn't seem to exactly condone their actions either; it just seems indifferent. And the characters themselves are not only idiots for being so careless in their crimes, but good God are they annoying brats! I highly doubt this movie even does justice to teenage culture, let alone the true story. My rating: 35%.
This Is the End (2013)
It made me laugh. A lot. That's all I really need to say. :) And I think a lot of that comes from how ingeniously simplistic the premise is: how many jokes can we make about these guys being holed up in this house during the apocalypse? I particularly love Emma Watson's cameo, especially just coming off of The Bling Ring. Maybe the last act bites off more than it can chew by examining faith, but it still keeps up the same humour throughout, so it doesn't feel out of place. How can you not love sarcastic demons? :D It's simply one of the funniest movies I've seen all year, so it was really a treat. My rating: 80%.
Now You See Me (2013)
A heist movie involving illusionists. I loved the first act, which details how the magic act works and how the heist was pulled off. But then, when the question becomes who the real brains of the outfit is, it gets so frenzied and complex that it may just be sloppily written, but it still made me want to see it again to try and untangle it. The characters too may simply be flat stereotypes, but they're all performed with delightful conviction; I especially love the perfectly cast Jesse Eisenberg and the banter between Mark Ruffalo and Mélanie Laurent. On the whole, I'd say it's flawed but enjoyable. My rating: 65%.
By the way, on a side note, Xtra-vision apparently has a new promotion on: unlimited movies and games for just €25 a month. Considering most of the movies I still have to rent sound pretty bad, that might actually be a good idea. :) Normally it's €10–11 per trio, so do the math. :)
Time for another TV list. But instead of a certain trend in TV, what I'm doing this time is a list of my favourite episodes from one particular show. Which one? Why, my favourite show of all time, of course! :D
Yep, I have to tell you, I *love* Star Trek! It was epic, it was thought-provoking, it had extremely relevant messages, it had unforgettable characters, and it left its mark forever on sci-fi history.
But for this list, we're only going to be focusing on the Original Series. It's the only series I've seen all the way through, after all. I've seen a few episodes of The Next Generation and a couple from Voyager, and they've really got me hyped to see the rest, but so far the Original Series is the only one I've seen in its entirety. And I've only run through it once to date, at that – though I am currently going through it a second time.
But, as of one viewing at least, these are the episodes that stick in my head the most.
Also, because TV episodes are much shorter than movies, I figure it's only fair that this is another case where I shouldn't need to iron out the captions to a hundred words.
So here we go. This is my top ten favourite Star Trek: The Original Series episodes.
#10 = Court Martial
This was the first episode I ever saw, and it really set the standard for the rest of the series. :) It's about Captain Kirk being placed on trial for his apparent misconduct that led to the death of a crewman. It features an ingenious method in which the characters overcome the odds, and it's not so complex that it's impossible to follow and understand. And that, to me, is Star Trek in a nutshell.
#9 = The Mark of Gideon
While beaming down to the surface of the overpopulated planet Gideon, Kirk ends up in an alternate version of the Enterprise and finds himself completely alone. This episode's message about overpopulation is pretty obvious, but it's still relevant. And the Gideon citizens' plan to combat it, while questionable, is still pretty clever. Sometimes it's all about giving the antagonists a good reason for their actions.
#8 = The Enemy Within
While beaming up, the transporter accidentally splits Kirk into two beings: one good, weak and indecisive, and one evil, aggressive and domineering. The whole idea of this episode is that no one can make any logical decision without their more ruthless side. Really gets you thinking, doesn't it? :)
#7 = (appropriately enough!) The Galileo Seven
Spock and a scientific party are stranded on Taurus II and fighting for their lives, and their shuttlecraft hasn't enough fuel to regain orbit carrying all seven of them. The bulk of this episode is seeing Spock taking command and deciding logically who's expendable, much to the disdain of his companions. It's some pretty heavy shit!
#6 = Whom Gods Destroy
Kirk and Spock are imprisoned in a mental health facility that's been taken over by an insane former starship captain who believes he's destined to control the universe. The whole reason this makes my top ten is just because of the sheer threat factor of the villain. He just can't be reasoned with, and the fact that he can shape-shift certainly doesn't help either! He really is one of the toughest opponents ever on the show.
#5 = Wink of an Eye
This episode involves time-accelerated aliens who bring Kirk to their level and plan to freeze the rest of the crew. I'm not sure what to say about this one except that it's simply one of the show's most interesting ideas. And the way Kirk and the crew escape their predicament is as ingenious as ever.
#4 = The Tholian Web
Kirk is left stranded in another dimension, and a race against time is on to bring him back before the Enterprise is crippled by an energy-draining web being spun by Tholian ships. This episode is particularly fascinating in how the rest of the crew is left to manage in Kirk's absence. And it's conclusive proof that the characters are what makes the show so endearing, because you really do feel a sense of emptiness, as though Kirk really is dead.
#3 = Metamorphosis
Kirk and company's shuttlecraft crashes on a rocky planet, where they find another castaway and an alien entity that he calls the Companion, who's later revealed to be in love with him. This one really gets you thinking about what true love really is, and it's a surprisingly heart-warming episode – especially the poetic justice in the scene where one life ends and another begins. In fact, I was surprised to find myself actually getting a little teary-eyed at this episode!
#2 = The Trouble with Tribbles
Okay, okay! Everyone saw this one coming from a mile away! :) But how could this one not be up there? It's just so hilarious that something so small, adorable and apparently harmless could become such a nuisance and a danger to a diplomatic arrangement. And to top it all off, there are Klingons involved! What more could you ask for? :) This is probably the best-loved episode of all – and for good reason – so it's almost always guaranteed to be up there on anyone's top ten list. But this is my own list, so I need to reserve the top spot.
Here it is. #1… The Cage
Yes, that's right: the originally unseen pilot episode. :) It involves Captain Pike being held captive by a group of telepathic aliens. The aliens' flawless power of illusion, as well as their ability to read your thoughts, makes them virtually impossible to beat, so it's definitely the toughest battle in the show's history. It's also a really nice brain-teaser in that you never know what's real and what's just an illusion. It's hard to explain exactly, but it just seems like the smartest episode to me – it was the perfect way to kick-start the series – and that's what makes it my favourite episode of the bunch.
Runners-up: Balance of Terror, The City on the Edge of Forever, Operation: Annihilate!, Shore Leave, Space Seed and This Side of Paradise
If you regularly follow my "first impressions" reviews, I hope you've been enjoying them. :) But even trying to write those short reviews (up to 250 words) is still time-consuming because I sometimes have trouble articulating my thoughts. And lately, I've just been losing my motivation to write them; it's starting to become a chore.
So, you can go ahead and call me lazy and slack if you want, but the fact that I'll simply have so much to watch in the coming weeks certainly doesn't help matters. It looks like most of the remainder of my year will be spent watching movies. I mean, there's a lot of stuff coming in the cinema, and I still have a shitload to rent – mostly because that six-week period when I was receiving no income and had to cut down almost completely on expenses lost me so much time.
Anyway, what I've decided to do, at least until the end of this year, is, instead of writing full reviews for every new movie I see, I'll just do brief report every Saturday of what I see each week.
Up first, however, is another PS3 game I completed quite recently – and this is probably the closest you'll ever see me get to reviewing a game when it's brand new! :D
Far Cry 3 (PS3)
Far Cry 3 is absolutely fantastic; it's one of my new favourite games. :) The tropical island environment is animated to perfection; it really makes me feel like I'm walking among wild animals. The psychological journey of the main character is completely riveting, as he finds his true calling with the Rakyat people. I love how the gameplay allows me to prioritise stealth over direct combat, and I also love how sometimes a predator can come by and clear out an outpost for you. :D And of course, Vaas steals the whole show: so demented that he's equal parts funny and shit-your-pants scary. It's just a breathtaking game in every respect. My rating: 95%.
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns parts 1+2 (2012+2013)
I haven't yet read the graphic novel, but this two-part animated movie really impressed me. It has to be the darkest, most brutally grisly Batman story I've ever seen. But it's also, in just about every respect, the perfect swan song for Batman. I especially like how the two volumes feel very different from each other, especially regarding their set of foes, but are still very well connected. Both volumes feature spectacular climaxes. I do wonder, though, what exactly this "agreement" was that forced superheroes into retirement; maybe it's explained better in the comic. …I don't know what else to say other than, "It's very, very good." My rating: 85%.
And it's not just the PS3 game I finished recently. :) Here's my take on the book I just finished reading…
The Girl Who Played with Fire (Stieg Larsson)
The big drawback of this book is that it takes a long time to get started. It's over 180 pages before it even gets to the story described on the back cover, and only a handful of scenes before that prove consequential. However, all that build-up does mean it comes as a jaw-dropping shock when it's revealed who the murder victims are, and the mystery aspect of the story that follows is nothing short of brilliant – but I obviously won't spoil all the details. :) All the returning characters are just as compelling as before. So, despite some shortcomings, this sequel is still a success. Oh, and don't expect an ending, because it doesn't have one! My rating: 85%.
And now for this week's Xtra-vision trio. :)
Epic (2013)
Because this movie has an obvious environmental message, and it's about tiny people living in the rainforest, the comparisons to FernGully are inevitable. And it's every bit as predictable as it sounds. Literally every single plot point is either clichéd or telegraphed – except for a pivotal one that had me seriously questioning if it was ever established. The only thing I kind of liked was how Queen Tara actually does use her control over plants to kick some ass! :) It's thoroughly predictable every step of the way… but I guess it's harmless enough that I'd have no problem with showing it to your kids. My rating: 40%.
World War Z (2013)
I haven't read the book, but I understand this movie misses the point completely: the book was an anthology story about the aftermath of the zombie apocalypse. So how's the movie in its own right? I can put it to you in one word: boring! The characters are completely flat, the performances are dull, and the constant use of shaky cam not only devolves the action scenes into an incoherent mess, but is sometimes unforgivably used to censor the violence! Plus, the CG effects, especially all the masses of zombies, just look awful! The ending is really good, though. But that's not enough to save an otherwise monotonous film. My rating: 35%.
Behind the Candelabra (2013)
It's the story of the relationship between Liberace and Scott Thorson. Honestly, I don't have much of an opinion on this one. It all comes down to whether or not you get into the relationship between these two people. It's not so much about being gay as becoming family to each other. But the inevitable downfall becomes apparent pretty early on when the relationship becomes so manipulative, Liberace takes such control over Scott, that he even changes his face! The performances from Michael Douglas and Matt Damon are both excellent. Overall, it's not bad, but it's nothing I'd be in a rush to see again. My rating: 60%.
Last week, I listed my picks for the best of Disney's animated motion pictures. But, sadly, with the good must also come the bad. Obviously the stuff flooding the Disney market today leaves a lot to be desired (to say the least!), but even their classic row of fifty-plus trophies has its share of hits and misses.
So, still sticking with Disney's official line-up of animated motion pictures, these are my picks for their biggest misses. I have to restrict it only to their theatrical works, because if I included Disney's whole library, then the direct-to-video sequels would probably take up the entire list.
Well, here goes nothing. :) These are my top ten least favourites of the Disney animated features.
#10 = Pocahontas (1995)
Pocahontas isn't bad, but it is terribly flawed. I guess this was the beginning of Disney trying to start a new trend: taking more mature subjects and making them entertaining for kids. In this case, history. But Pocahontas makes the fatal mistake of sugarcoating it, talking down to its audience. Solving the language barrier through magic, for example. And reducing the leader of the white men to pure greed, I believe needs no comment. For what it's worth, the songs and animation are good, and the moral about prejudice is sound. But otherwise, this movie's just kind of an embarrassment.
#9 = The Three Caballeros (1944)
When it ended, this movie had me wondering, "What the hell did I just see?" It starts out with two short stories framed by Donald Duck opening his birthday presents, and each one is a presentation on Latin America. Then José Carioca (the green parrot) shows up, returning from his debut in Saludos Amigos. Then Panchito the rooster comes to show them around Mexico. And from that point on, it's literally like the animators just got high! :) The animation is consistently good throughout, but this movie really needs to be watched one segment at a time, because watching them all together, it suddenly becomes boring.
#8 = Fun and Fancy Free (1947)
And man, what an appropriate title! :) This is one of the gayest movies I've ever seen! For much of it, there's no conflict at all; everything's just fine and dandy. It begins with a jolly song introduction, setting the tone for everything to follow. The first of its two individual stories, Bongo, is cuteness to the nth degree, but the second vignette is a pretty creative retelling of Jack and the Beanstalk. I've heard that light-hearted fluff like this was just what audiences needed after World War II. But today, I don't know if I'd recommend it to anyone except very young children.
#7 = The AristoCats (1970)
Again, this one isn't horrible, but it's mostly kind of lame. The main characters are complete goody-goodies, which means they couldn't possibly be less interesting. That cheap, sketchy style of Disney animation really stands out here. A lot of the dialogue, Edgar's aside, is groan-worthy. And speaking of which, it's really sad when the villain is one of only two likable characters in the movie (the other being Roquefort the mouse)! And as the icing on the cake, I just do not like these songs. They even somehow suck the coolness out of jazz! My sister really loves this one, but I usually skip it.
#6 = Brother Bear (2003)
The maddening thing about this one is that it actually starts out very well. The first fifteen minutes or so is great, with endearing characters, believable drama and a culture that you can easily become absorbed in. But after the main character gets turned into a bear, everything plummets downhill. The dialogue is painfully modern, and there's one point where they put a song in the absolute worst place possible. So this one really frustrates me in how right it gets some things but how wrong it gets others. I mean, talk about being so close and yet so far!
#5 = Oliver & Company (1988)
By this point, Disney was churning out their animated movies fast – usually one per year. It was mostly quantity over quality, though. Even as a kid, I didn't like this one very much. It's a brave attempt at a contemporary New York-based take on Oliver Twist, but it just never wowed me for some reason. Maybe it's the overly cartoonish style of the animation – I don't know. Even the songs aren't very impressive, despite having Billy Joel on board. Really, this one's most remarkable for coming out the same year as The Land Before Time – which was ironically far more like a Disney movie! :)
#4 = The Rescuers (1977)
I know a lot of people like this movie, but obviously I'm not one of them. I just find it downright depressing to sit through. Not only is the story centred around child slave labour, which is pretty grim for a Disney movie, but something about the animation and overall tone just makes this movie seem very lacklustre to me, which just adds to the depression factor. Even the big escape in the climax has almost no wow factor at all. So, because it's such a major downer, this is another one I'd skip. Now, the sequel, The Rescuers Down Under… that's a different story! :)
#3 = The Black Cauldron (1985)
This is considered one of Disney's biggest flops, and I can see why. It's nice to see them attempt a dark fantasy epic, but it really doesn't suit them. Every attempt at serious fantasy action is undermined by incredibly lame dialogue. Especially, the moment I first saw the fairies is when it was clinched that there was no way I could take the movie in any way seriously! The way I see it, this movie's too frightening for kids and too lame for fantasy epic fans; it doesn't please either. It's the first of the Disney movies that I simply don't recommend.
#2 = Home on the Range (2004)
Disney's 2D animation studio was shut down for a while after this, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was exactly because of this movie! :) This is so unlike the Disney you'd expect that it actually goes beyond belief! It's geared almost exclusively to preschool kids. It tries to throw in some jokes for the parents, but fails. Honestly, this wouldn't be out of place alongside Barney the Dinosaur! Overall, it's not absolutely detestable, but this is undoubtedly the worst of all the 2D Disney movies by far. Unless you're about four years old or less, I'd say this is a definite skip!
But my #1 least favourite Disney feature is… Chicken Little (2005)
This movie… I can't even put it into words! This was Disney's first 3D animated movie separate from Pixar, and it just completely floored me with shock! This is one of the strangest… not even Disney movies, just movies in general! It's bad enough that it's not funny and the animation style certainly isn't for adults. But what really made my jaw drop was the direction the story ended up taking. …Aliens?! Fucking aliens?! I don't know what I expected of a movie called Chicken Little, but it certainly didn't involve fucking aliens! For what it's worth, their ships' cloaking feature is cool (and to say that it's a fresh take on the sky falling is a massive understatement!), but it just makes you wish they were in a different movie. I don't know what else to say. Just… wow is this one bad! In terms of their theatrical animated line-up, this is Disney at their absolute worst.
Runners-up:
• Lady and the Tramp falls flat for me as a love story because I just don't care about these characters. And I can only tolerate one of the songs, too.
• And Dinosaur, despite a couple of really good moments, just isn't that interesting overall. Plus the voice acting is pretty lame.
On Wednesday, I went up to Dublin to see Keane live from Berlin, a show that was being broadcast to over five hundred cinemas worldwide. As a huge Keane fan myself, how could I miss it? :) Since I had so much free time during the trip, I also went to see a couple more movies while I was on it.
But before I start talking about them, there's one particular trailer I want to address: the Walking with Dinosaurs movie. Wow! It looks terrible! As if the idea of a movie based on the show wasn't shaky enough already, the dinosaurs actually talk! I mean, you don't see their mouths moving or anything, but you hear them speaking to each other in voiceover. I can't even begin to explain how appalled I was! All I could do was think in dismay, "They're not going to do that in the actual movie, are they?" Why couldn't it be like the show, a documentary that simply portrayed them as animals in their natural habitat, accompanied by a narrator? You can still present it as a narrative story; just don't give the animals voices! Terrible idea!
Anyway…
In Thor: The Dark World, the ancient race of Dark Elves are reawakened when their ultimate weapon, the Aether, finds a host body in Jane Foster, forcing Thor to team up with his convicted brother Loki to escape Asgard and confront them.
I liked the first Thor, but did think it was a tad uneven. So I may be in a minority on this, but I actually enjoyed this sequel even more. It's more focused and more consistent.
Even as the movie started, however, I didn't think I'd come to that conclusion. Though the first act is often laugh-out-loud funny, tone-wise it feels like a typical lesser sequel. But as it progresses, it keeps building on top of itself at a seemingly constant rate, to the point where I was on the edge of my seat during the climax – helped all the more by the concept of hopping through portals! :)
On the whole, I was very much satisfied with it. The only nitpicks I can think of are so minor and far between. For one thing, I really can't stand the character of Darcy: annoying as all hell! And maybe it's just because I'd read about it in advance, but Anthony Hopkins seemed very unenthusiastic.
But most of my nitpicks are ultimately negligible. This is a standard blockbuster in many ways, but with enough wit and enough focus on its simple premise to keep it consistently entertaining, and its sense of momentum is almost perfect.
My rating: 85%.
And Gravity follows Dr Ryan Stone after her shuttle is destroyed by satellite debris, leaving her stranded and drifting in orbit.
I ignored all the hype surrounding this movie, intending to go in with neutral expectations. And… it was pretty good. :)
I can see why James Cameron declared it the best space movie he's ever seen, because it perfectly nails the illusion of being in space. The way they simulate zero-gravity is utterly convincing – even down to the little details like tears and flames. Also, naturally, they keep in mind that there's nothing to carry sound. Even when there are explosions in the background, they're completely silent.
This flawless recreation of space only enhances the inherent desperation of the story, too. At first Sandra Bullock came off to me as pretty wooden, but I found myself progressively feeling for the character more and more as she succumbs to loneliness and the pressures of the danger she's in.
But (and I never in my life thought I'd say this!) what really makes this movie stand out is the 3D. I saw it in IMAX, and I could go on forever about how well it suits the format! I do have to wonder how well it's going to hold up on the small screen, though.
Still, on its own terms, this is a good, solid thriller whose single greatest strength is how well it captures its atmosphere. So my conclusion is: not quite a five-star rating, but close. :)
My rating: 85%.
Ah, yes. Don't we all just love Disney? Is there anything in the world more synonymous with childhood? Disney has been around almost since the dawn of cinema, and has enchanted generations of children ever since. Until it became a money-grubbing corporate giant that everyone accused of brainwashing a generation, that is! :)
Of course, it's pretty easy to figure out the cons of Disney: pretty much everything they've done since the year 2000 is a con. But let's forget about all that and hearken back to the golden age, Disney's timeless animated classics.
In fact, there are so many truly great ones that I just couldn't keep this to a top ten! So I'm actually going to make it a top twenty list. I won't get into the direct-to-video sequels, or Disney's collaborations with Pixar or anything; I'm only going by what Disney considers their official line-up of animated motion pictures.
So, get ready. These are my top twenty favourite Disney animated features.
#20 = 101 Dalmatians (1961)
It's the story of a couple of parent dogs on a quest to rescue their puppies. And I think that's the main reason it draws me in so much: it doesn't get any more serious than rescuing your children. Especially from Cruella de Vil, every animal lover's worst nightmare! And as quest stories go, it's a pretty damn good one. It has long-distance signals, it has military characters, it has a getaway chase – it's awesome! :) Its only downfall is the animation, which is distractingly cheap and sketchy. But still, it's a fun adventure. (And don't even get me started on that pig-shit live-action movie!)
#19 = Sleeping Beauty (1959)
This one always stood out for me among the Disney canon. The animation is probably their most unique, reminiscent of tapestry work. The music is fantastic, adapted from the Tchaikovsky ballet of the same name. The movie does seem to care much more about its side characters than the two supposed leads, but the supporting characters alone are worth the price of admission! :) The three fairies are a thoroughly enjoyable trio, and really are the true stars of the movie in every respect! The villain, Maleficent, is one of the best in Disney history. And the action-packed final climax is simply fantastic.
#18 = Alice in Wonderland (1951)
This is another one that really stands out as unique in the Disney oeuvre. It's a dark, twisted psychological journey, in which a very logical girl is thrown into a world that's the complete opposite of logic. In terms of overall structure, it's more or less a road trip movie: you see something, you have a brief encounter with it, and then you move on. I haven't yet read either of the original Lewis Carroll books, but I've heard this movie tries to combine the two into one. And in that respect, I think it really works. It's a solid self-contained piece.
#17 = The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr Toad (1949)
It's the stories of The Wind in the Willows and The Legend of Sleepy Hollow told back-to-back. Again, I haven't yet read either of the original books, but each of these adaptations is intelligent and engaging in its own right. But by far my favourite part is the built-up appearance of the Headless Horseman at the end of Sleepy Hollow: that scene perfectly nails the sense of nervous tension, and the Horseman himself has an amazing design. Each of the two vignettes has also been released separately, but here, together in their original format, they make for an excellent package.
#16 = The Little Mermaid (1989)
This movie basically rescued Disney from their dark age, ushering in what's commonly called the Disney Renaissance. I didn't grow up with this one, but there's still more than enough to enjoy as an adult. It succeeds in the same way as Snow White and Cinderella before it: it's a fairytale without any pretence. The animation is stellar, as is the music. Ursula the devious sea witch is by far one of Disney's best villains. The climax is a little too brief for me, but it's still easy to see why people fell in love with this movie. It finally recaptured the classic Disney.
#15 = Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
Did you know that this was actually the first full-length animated movie ever made? For a first effort, it's pretty impressive. Of course I liked it a lot as a child, but as an adult, I find it's only got better with age. It's a fairytale plain and simple, and it relishes it, and I think that's what makes so many of the Disney classics so timeless. When it's funny, it's really funny. When it's scary, it's actually still pretty terrifying. The only major problem is Snow White's voice, but even that I can get used to after a while.
#14 = Meet the Robinsons (2007)
I admit this one's just for me! :) I loved this movie. This was one of the 3D animated movies that Disney released separately from Pixar. There's nothing about it that really screams "Disney", but it's still a thoroughly enjoyable time travel story. During the first few minutes, I was really excited about the direction it was going, then it kind of sagged in the middle, when it seemed like the movie was just throwing out as much weirdness as possible, but then the third act made all the difference. I'm a sucker for time travel movies, so this one's right up my alley! :)
#13 = Peter Pan (1953)
Disney and Peter Pan – two of the embodiments of childhood – coming together! It sounds like a match made in heaven, and the result doesn't disappoint! :) This is a movie to watch if you want to feel like a little kid again. The characters seem just like real kids having adventures and fun at the same time. I especially love the Indian party scene: the music alone makes me want to join in the party! :) But of course, what most people remember is Captain Hook, who's embodied wonderfully here: honourable and cunning, but also side-splittingly funny. It's all definitely one of Disney's proudest trademarks.
#12 = The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977)
From Walt's death up until The Little Mermaid is a time I like to call the dark age of Disney, and this was perhaps the only true gem to come out of that time. It's just amazing how well Disney captured the spirit of the original books; with the characters' childlike innocence and naïveté, they got it spot-on. And the film isn't limited to a three-act structure, allowing you to wallow in all the wonder that the Hundred Acre Wood has to offer. It's one of those remarkable movies that I actually love even more as an adult than I did as a child.
#11 = Basil the Great Mouse Detective [known in the US as simply The Great Mouse Detective] (1986)
This may have come out during Disney's dark age, but it's easily one of my personal favourites. The idea of Disney doing a detective story, especially with mice, may sound absurd, but somehow it actually worked! :) I just love watching the sharp, super-smart hero cracking clues and figuring out various other things. But a hero can only be as good as his villain, and Ratigan truly is one of the greats. Basil is obviously a rodent version of Sherlock Holmes, and this is a great Sherlock Holmes alternative. It's surprisingly cool for such a silly concept, and definitely one of Disney's most entertaining flicks.
#10 = The Princess and the Frog (2009)
After a five-year hiatus, Disney finally returned with another 2D animated feature. And the result was surprisingly inspired. This is perhaps the first Disney movie to acknowledge that you have to work in life, you can't just wish for your dreams to come true. The two ideals are in constant battle in this movie. And on top of that, it's just funny; it's bursting with laugh-out-loud humour. The story may be too complicated for some people, but it's fine with me, because I like complex stories! :) I love this movie. Every time I see it, it gets better and better.
#9 = Bambi (1942)
Well, I can't talk about this movie without mentioning Bambi's mother! :) It's kind of fitting that such a famous emotionally crippling moment was in a movie that also succeeded in every other respect! :) The animation is simply outstanding: you really feel like you're in nature for the whole movie. And the way it tells its story is among Disney's most distinct: it's just the life of this deer and what he learns along the way. I especially like how Bambi has no personality to speak of, which makes him seem more like the animal he's supposed to be. It's by far one of Disney's finest.
#8 = Pinocchio (1940)
I've been told that I couldn't get enough of this movie as a kid, but I think that's just because I never actually owned it. To date, I've seen it twice since growing up. The first time I saw it, I thought it was very good, and the second time I saw it, I thought it was amazing. The animation is absolutely top-notch, and is there any point in confirming the story's morals and emotional resonance? And of course, need we forget When You Wish Upon a Star, the song that's become perhaps Disney's biggest trademark? It's definitely one of Disney's definitive masterpieces.
#7 = Tangled (2010)
This was Disney's fiftieth animated feature, and they certainly picked a good one to mark the occasion! :) Rapunzel was perhaps the only classic fairytale they didn't cover in their golden ages. The twists this version puts on the original story are fantastically clever, and it's amazing how well the movie balances humour, exciting adventure and that timeless fairytale sensibility that we all love from Disney. Its only slight problem is that the characters and dialogue do seem overly modern, though not annoyingly so. Overall, it's a very entertaining movie that I heartily recommend if you want to watch something that's fun but not brainless.
#6 = The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
Such a famously dark and demented Victor Hugo book might seem like a weird subject for Disney to take on! But for what they did with it, honestly, I really love this one. With the exception of the gargoyles, it doesn't try to lighten the tone for kids; it tells a dark, adult story just as it is, tackling issues like prejudice, heartbreak, and even lust! The music is awesome, including two of my absolute favourite Disney songs: Out There and Hellfire. It's definitely one of the most adult of all the Disney movies, and I love it all the more for that.
#5 = Fantasia (1940)
This is a very different kind of movie for Disney. Fantasia doesn't have a narrative story. It's just an experiment in applying animated images to classical music, thus creating visual poetry. And I'm one more of the many people who just love it for that. The animation is of course flawless, and I especially love how distinct each of the seven sections are from each other, from Toccata and Fugue to The Sorcerer's Apprentice to Dance of the Hours to the ending with Night on Bald Mountain and Ave Maria. It all just goes to show the power of music over the mind.
#4 = Aladdin (1992)
This was actually the first movie I ever saw in the cinema, and it was one of the Disney movies I saw most often growing up. But is that the only reason it's one of my favourites? Of course not. The romance is one of Disney's best: Aladdin and Jasmine actually do have chemistry. Who can forget Robin Williams as the Genie? The escape from the Cave of Wonders has to be one of the best action scenes ever animated. And its moral about lying is by far one of Disney's soundest. In short, I love every single second of this movie.
#3 = The Lion King (1994)
Yeah. :) When this movie came out, everyone I knew was crazy about it! The songs are brilliant, the animation is absolutely top-notch (especially in how it captures the spectacular African scenery), both the animation and the story have a truly epic scale, and the moral is right up there with Aladdin as one of Disney's best: you can't change the past, but you can deal with it. People have said that it's basically a kids' version of Hamlet, combined with King Lear. Well, so much the better! :) Either way, it's definitely the highest-grossing 2D animated film of all time for a reason.
#2 = Beauty and the Beast (1991)
This movie is just incredible! Everything about it is just perfect. The main character is perfect, the villain is perfect, the romance is perfect, the animation is perfect, the music is perfect… I think the movie's single greatest strength is that it takes itself as seriously as a fairytale can: all the characters seem like real people. Is it any wonder it was the first animated film ever to be nominated for Best Picture? If this list were based on a technical standpoint, this would have to be number one. But my personal favourite is one that's a little less tangible.
Here it is. #1… The Jungle Book (1967)
I can't really explain why this is my favourite of the bunch. It's just the one I have the most fun watching, and the world it sets up is the one I least want to leave. It happens to be the last one to be made while Walt Disney himself was still alive – but sadly he passed away before it was released, so he never got to see it. I haven't read the original book, though I've heard it's a lot better. But until then, I'll gladly take this version! :) It's basically a road trip movie: a series of initially fun encounters, but then there's a brilliant tonal shift halfway through. All the characters are memorable, and the music is upbeat and jazzy. But like I said, I can't really explain it otherwise. It doesn't really matter why The Jungle Book is so cool; it just is.
Runners-up:
• Cinderella does a fantastic job at adapting the story to feature length, with expert build-up to the appearance of the Fairy Godmother.
• Dumbo isn't as sublime as Disney's other works, but still great fun.
• Mulan is equal parts laugh-out-loud funny and an intensely vicious war scenario, including a pretty spectacular battle scene.
• And The Rescuers Down Under is an immensely fun action adventure that I enjoy far more than the first Rescuers.
And those are my picks. Did your favourite make the list?
