Once again, the new year is just around the corner, so it's time to reflect on the movies of the year that's just passed, both the good and the bad. I've done one of these lists every year since 2011, so welcome to my fourth annual movie round-up. :)
Now, bear with me for a moment; I need to set some criteria. Movie release dates are a complicated business, and I have my own idea of what qualifies as a 2014 movie. It simply has to have been released to the general public in the year in question. So any movie that's only seen the light of day at film festivals so far, no matter how big a splash it was, is out. The same rule applies to a movie's release date in a particular country: I judge by the first public audience it reached according to IMDb, so if it was initially released in another country earlier but didn't make it to yours until this year, it doesn't count. It is a pain that that's a two-way street, because some big US releases towards the end of the year won't reach my shores until January and February, so I currently haven't seen movies like Big Hero 6, Into the Woods and Birdman.
Speaking of which, I emphasise this every year, but something else to keep in mind is that this is going purely by movies that I've actually seen. I try my best to see every movie that gets either exceedingly good or bad buzz to see if it'll make either of these end-of-year lists, but there are always some that, for one reason or another, I never get round to. But I'll go into the specifics on that in the individual good and bad sections.
So, without further ado, let's get started. :)
I tend to get the bad news out of the way first so that the good news becomes sort of a reward.
But let me tell you, this was a hard list to narrow down! Truth be told, this was a distinctly underwhelming year for movies. There were practically none whatsoever that I either really loved or really hated; the whole year seemed to be running on indifference nonstop. …Or maybe that was just my own ennui.
And I may not have the utmost authority to make a worst-of list anyway, because I haven't seen many of the reputedly worst movies that came out this year. Like, I haven't seen any of the Tyler Perry movies or The Expendables 3, for instance. There's also Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones, the remakes of Endless Love and Annie, Dracula Untold, A Haunted House 2, Mrs Brown's Boys, As Above, So Below and Uwe Boll's Rampage: Capital Punishment, among others I'm sure I'm forgetting. But the big one is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; I never watched Ninja Turtles myself – I didn't grow up with it – and I certainly didn't want this piece of shit (as I'm sure it is) to be my first exposure to the franchise.
But anyway, from what I have seen, these are my picks for the top ten worst movies of 2014…
#10 = Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return
This is an embarrassing attempt to bring Oz into the twenty-first century by making the dialogue and humour exceedingly contemporary. It's such an ill-advised idea that this movie is basically dead on arrival. Not to mention, the songs are bad, and some of the voice acting is terrible: in particular, Bernadette Peters is staggeringly wooden as Glinda. Also, I didn't care much for Oz the Great and Powerful, but the little China Girl in that movie was far better than the China Princess in this one. I just wouldn't recommend showing this to your children; show them the more timeless movies instead.
#9 = Under the Skin
This movie, right from the first minute, seems like it's trying desperately to be a Stanley Kubrick film, with a very slow pace and a vague, visual-fuelled narrative. But a sci-fi movie of this nature doesn't lend itself well at all to that approach; it really needs to be cohesive. As a result, it leaves tonnes of questions unanswered. Just what is that liquid she traps men in? Who is that guy working with her? Why does she even need men's skins in the first place? None of this is ever explained. It constantly left me thinking, "What the hell is going on?!"
#8 = Transformers: Age of Extinction
I've made no secret of my utmost disdain for the Transformers sequels and Michael Bay movies in general. I was fully expecting this to top the list before I even saw it, so imagine my surprise when it turned out to be nowhere near as bad as I was expecting. It's still overlong and poorly structured, and the human characters are more annoying than ever before, but at least it wasn't as all-around infuriating as Transformers two and three. Despite learning from a few of its predecessors' mistakes, like reducing the robot cast to only a few clearly distinguishable Autobots, overall it's just plain dull.
#7 = A New York Winter's Tale (known in the US as simply Winter's Tale)
This is basically a failed attempt at a modern-day fairytale, and I have a hunch that it's going to become a new classic "so bad it's good" movie. But personally, I was only laughing at it half the time; the rest of the time, I just found the stupidity on display aggravating. As an example of both extremes, I lost it whenever I heard Russell Crowe's ridiculous Irish accent, but when Peter survives for a century without aging, it just leaves you wondering what kind of social life he's had in the meantime. There are just too many outrageously stupid moments to even count.
#6 = Behaving Badly
Based on Ric Browde's novel While I'm Dead… Feed the Dog. I haven't read the book, but it must surely be better than this. As the title would imply, a lot of the humour is meant to be dark or distasteful, but the overall direction is so indifferent that there's no wit to it; it just comes across as immature. And some of the concepts are downright cringe-worthy, especially the plotline of the best friend's mother having sex with the teenage protagonist, which is wrong on so many levels! I spent the whole time either cringing or just sitting there in awkward silence.
#5 = The Purge: Anarchy
I hated the original Purge, but thought maybe this sequel could offer some improvement. But that hope was quickly dashed. The whole concept of the Purge is still beyond absurd, so illogical that it beggars belief. Thankfully the characters aren't aggravating morons this time around, but it's the cinematography that really kills this attempt. The camera never stops shaking, everything looks overexposed – it's all simply ugly to look at. Plus the half-assed nature of its satire is exemplified at the end, when it turns into a blatant Hunger Games rip-off. So, while it's not as bad as its predecessor, this still isn't much more watchable.
#4 = A Long Way Down
Another movie based on a dark comedy novel. But this time, the mistranslation from book to film is plainly noticeable – and distressing. Right from the opening scenes, the movie's joking approach to the characters committing suicide made me distinctly uncomfortable. It's a disastrous failed attempt to be darkly humorous about a very delicate subject. And the rest of the movie that follows is just as awkwardly unfunny. The characters often got on my nerves, but by far the most annoying is Jess: she never shuts up! Basically, it's a movie that shoots itself in the foot right from the start and never recovers.
#3 = Bad Neighbours (known in the US as Neighbors)
One word: annoying! It's one of those movies where both parties involved in the rivalry are as unlikable as the other, in this case because all they do is shout and scream and be as loud and obnoxious as possible – it's just noise, noise, noise! It's so cacophonous that the painfully unfunny and often sophomoric jokes are almost secondary. I also have to wonder why our leading couple are the only ones in the whole neighbourhood who bother to call the police about the noise. The sheer level of annoyance I got from this movie is really what puts it at the number three spot.
#2 = The Legend of Hercules
This retelling of the story of Hercules is as clichéd a Moses story as it gets. You can even pinpoint the famous historical epics it's blatantly ripping off, including Ben-Hur, Gladiator and every triumphant "people's hero" leader story you've ever seen before. Plus the CGI is astonishingly bad, the acting is so dull it's downright depressing, and the only one of the famous twelve labours that's even remotely referenced is the Nemean lion; even the Disney version had more to do with the legend than that! In short, this is one of the most boring, derivative movies I've come across in quite a while.
And #1 – straight in there from the moment I saw it – Lucy
God, this movie is stupid! Even the trailer had me laughing because, as yet, I didn't realise the "ten percent of the brain" thing was an actual misconception; I always thought it was just an expression meaning that hardly anyone makes full use of their talents. But now here's a sci-fi movie taking that completely false idea entirely seriously! It's insulting! But even simply as a movie, Lucy lost me very early on, when it keeps cutting between two completely unrelated series of events; the transitions are just jarring. The second half is mostly just unremarkable action fodder, but it's still frustrating because it's serving such an idiotic purpose. I hated this movie! It flat-out fails both in conception and execution, and it gets my vote as the worst movie of the year. Others might have been technically worse in terms of tradecraft, but none were more frustrating to watch.
Runners-up:
• Divergent is head-scratching in its idea of a society dictated absolutely by personality.
• I, Frankenstein is so bland and mediocre that I was almost completely indifferent to it – up until the ridiculous ending.
• Into the Storm is chock full of stock characters and maddening abuse of the found footage gimmick.
• Need for Speed was a surprisingly drab return of old-school, CG-free stunts.
• The Quiet Ones was the most thoroughly forgettable movie I saw all year.
• And Rio 2 is a wholly sloppy, half-hearted sequel that also tries to do way too much at once.
Well, that's the worst-of list. Now I get to wash my hands of those stinkers by talking about the movies this year that I actually liked. :)
Now, I mentioned this earlier, but it bears repeating. Compared to the other years I've been doing this, this best-of list sadly isn't quite as strong a remedy to its counterpart. The line-up of movies this year was pretty subpar; there were next to no movies that I even liked enough to award five-star ratings. Even some of the movies that were huge hits with both critics and audiences, like How to Train Your Dragon 2, didn't resonate quite as strongly with me personally. Perhaps the biggest examples are the two Marvel movies this year – Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy – both of which I thought were just okay. Is the movie-going public getting desperate for something to latch onto, or am I just becoming too cynical?
And again, there might be some glaring omissions on this list, because there were a fair few reportedly good movies this year that I didn't catch, like Muppets Most Wanted, Big Eyes, Pride, What If (AKA The F Word), Veronica Mars (I think it best to watch the show first) and The Babadook – the latter of which I feel really guilty about because, when I first heard about it, I thought it sounded incredibly stupid, and by the time I heard what it was really like, it was too late. But the one for which I'm kicking myself the most is Boyhood, helmed by many as the best movie of the year; unfortunately I missed it in the cinema, and it won't hit DVD until January. I'd also like to give a special mention to Dinosaur 13: I usually take no interest in documentary films, but that one sounds like just my cup of tea. :)
Bottom line: if there's a movie that you feel really strongly should be on this list, chances are I either haven't seen it or I just didn't like it as much as you did.
So, with that rather pessimistic intro out of the way, let's now jump right into the joyful side of this year's cinema. :D Here are my top ten favourite movies of 2014…
#10 = Interstellar
It's more of the same complex sci-fi fare we've come to expect from Christopher Nolan. :) This time we have a team of explorers scouting deep space to try and find mankind a new home. A few aspects of the story don't add up, but I could still follow it well enough overall. I really didn't like Hans Zimmer's raucous, bombastic music, which even drowns out the dialogue at times. But on the other hand, the whole "time is relative" concept leads to one of the most powerful emotional moments in recent memory. Overall, it's far from Nolan's best offering, but still a pretty good one.
#9 = Godzilla
Finally, an American Godzilla remake that actually respects the franchise! :D Personally, I've only seen the original, but from what I've heard of the rest of the series, this movie is an affectionate tribute to the whole franchise. The human characters are boring, and they take up so much of the movie that that can be a little disappointing, but the story, and the plan they devise, still consistently held my interest. However, the final monster battle is definitely the highlight. :) Overall, while I could have used a little more focus on the monsters, I was still more than satisfied with what I got.
#8 = Gone Girl
When his wife disappears, Nick Dunne suspects kidnapping and goes public with his search for her, but then the media begins to suspect that he may not be all that innocent. Well, it's been a while since I've seen a thriller that kept me guessing all the way! :) The mystery of what happened to the wife only lasts for the first act, then it becomes something entirely different: an equally riveting battle of wits. The last act made no sense to me at the time, but fortunately it does become clearer on reflection. On the whole, it's a well written and highly effective thriller.
#7 = Chef
This is one that I really underestimated at first. The first act, involving the main character's feud with a critic, is pretty shaky, because all the trouble could have been avoided if he simply told the truth; you just want to jump into the movie and explain that it's all because of managerial mandate. But the second half, after he opens up the food truck and goes on tour, is quite simply some of the best feel-good entertainment I've seen in a long time. I especially love the developing relationship he shares with his son – who delivers one of the best child performances in years.
#6 = Oculus
This was the surprise of the year for me. I usually don't find the supernatural scary, and the idea of a haunted mirror sounded ludicrous to me. But instead, the movie succeeds by offering an extremely well written psychological study. As the film progresses and we get to know the two leads more and more, we start to wonder which of them is actually delusional, which is what makes the second half so intense. Watching the whole movie makes you feel like you're descending into delirium. It's an absolutely riveting mind trip, and probably the best horror movie I've seen since Cabin in the Woods.
#5 = X-Men: Days of Future Past
I went into this movie with high hopes, and came out feeling that I'd seen the best X-Men movie ever made. In a word, wow! :) It's impressive in just about every respect, but I'm especially amazed at how well written it is. The story is everything that a comic book movie should be: tightly written, and exciting thanks to being witty with both its clever ideas and its endearing characters. All the performances are top-notch, but Michael Fassbender stands out in particular. But the main thing the movie did for me was the last half-hour: the tension in the climax is nothing short of breathtaking.
#4 = The Imitation Game
If any movie this year was right up my street, it was this one! :) It's a biopic of Alan Turing, who developed the first prototypical computer to decode Nazi communications in World War II. The film as a whole is endlessly compelling and exciting, and even manages to pack some truly devastating emotional punches. But of course, it's Benedict Cumberbatch who steals the show. The movie portrays Turing as autistic, and, speaking as someone on the spectrum myself, Cumberbatch's performance is pitch-perfect. His tendency to rarely look people in the eye, and sometimes have trouble forming complete sentences or even words, really rang true.
#3 = The Book of Life
Another big surprise. Right from the opening scenes, it was so emotionally poignant that I was won over instantly. The story is as basic a fairytale as you can get, which just makes it all the more engaging: sometimes simplicity goes a long way. But aside from that, I simply adore the art design and the animation; I can't think of any other movie that looks like this. I said before that I hardly rated any movies five stars this year, but this is one that I strongly suspect will earn that coveted rating on repeat viewings. I loved it.
#2 = The Raid 2
This is one for which I had particularly high hopes, being a huge fan of the first Raid. This sequel features a much more complicated story; I had a bit of trouble keeping up. But all the characters' motivations made perfect sense, so I began to become steadily more invested. And then, once again, the third act made all the difference. I mean, WOW! The action scenes are some of the best in recent memory, including one of the best car chases I've ever seen, period! They're so exhilarating that I felt like I had to take a breather after each one was over!
So, what could be number one? What did I enjoy more than any of those other movies? The answer surprises even me.
My #1 favourite movie of 2014 is… Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie
Now, I admit I may have a bit of a bias towards this one, since I've been a huge AVGN fan since 2007, and James Rolfe himself, through his other videos, has become one of my biggest filmmaking idols. I was following this movie's progress from day one, trying not to let myself get too hyped, and boy was it worth the wait! :) It never stops being entertaining, not even for a second! Just about every step of the story feels natural, and I love how progressively outrageous the situation keeps becoming. I'd be lying if I said the obvious low-budget effects weren't occasionally distracting, but some of them just add to the humour in a big way: seeing some of the actors turned into part of the miniature models is frigging hilarious! :D Judging from its IMDb rating, it seems even a lot of AVGN fans hated this movie, but I'm clearly not one of them. I couldn't help but share in the passion on display, and thoroughly enjoyed the ride. It's my favourite movie of the year.
Runners-up:
• Batman: Assault on Arkham is more about the Suicide Squad than Batman himself, but their interplay makes them just as enjoyable to watch.
• Belle is maybe a tad romanticised, but still a compelling tale of morality and breaking boundaries.
• Edge of Tomorrow (released on DVD as Live Die Repeat: Edge of Tomorrow) is a very clever thriller that plays around with the concept of time travel magnificently.
• The Grand Budapest Hotel is both a dryly humorous comedy and an effective mystery story all in one.
• The Lego Movie is funny, creative, energised and even surprisingly profound, as demonstrated near the end.
• Nightcrawler is that rare movie for the bad guy, topped by an outstanding performance by Jake Gyllenhaal.
• And Noah acknowledges both the good and bad at the root of human nature, and ultimately reaffirmed my faith in humanity.
And those are my picks for the high and low points of this pretty meagre year.
Let's hope we get a more illustrious catalogue of films next year. After all, we've got the Wachowskis' Jupiter Ascending to look forward to, as well as the Fantastic Four reboot, Ant-Man, not one but two Pixar movies, Quentin Tarantino's The Hateful Eight, and quite a few sequels: Avengers: Age of Ultron, Mockingjay Part 2, a new Mad Max, another Bond movie, Mission: Impossible 5, Star Wars: Episode VII and – perhaps the one I'm personally most excited for – Jurassic World (man, it's been a long wait for that one!). On the other hand, I'm rather dubious about The Minions Movie: I'm not sure those characters are really leading role material. And then, needless to say, I couldn't be less enthusiastic about Fifty Shades of Grey; why that's even getting a film adaptation is beyond me!
In any case, let's hope for the best. :)
So thanks for reading this summary of my own outlook on cinema in 2014, have a fantastic New Year, and I'll see you next time. Take care.
