My Favourite and Least Favourite Books

   Okay, it's time for a couple of my incomplete lists. I've chosen four of them, all covering some of the more general favourite topics, and I've decided to post them two at a time.
   This first pair will be focusing on books. I think I briefly mentioned once before that I haven't yet read enough real masterpieces to fill a top ten list of my favourites. But here's what I've got so far.
   These are my top… eight favourite books.

#8 = Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (JK Rowling)

I've stated before that I love the Harry Potter series. It's a toss-up between this and Prisoner of Azkaban for my favourite of the bunch, but I'd say Goblet wins by a hair. This is where the series started to get deliciously dark. Obviously the three tasks of the Triwizard Tournament steal the show, but, as usual, there are also tonnes of great moments in between, exploring themes like Harry's first crush, false information in the press, and especially friendship. The graveyard scene has to be one of the most terrifying sequences in the entire series. Everything about this book kicks ass.


#7 = 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (Jules Verne)

I'm a big fan of science-fiction, and Jules Verne was one of those writers who could throw in enough informative scientific detail while still telling a great story. Now, I've only read 20,000 Leagues once so far, and it was in my teenage years, so my opinion may not be concrete. But from beginning to end, every scene is memorable, especially the gruelling escape from the South Pole. Not to mention, Captain Nemo is one of the most fascinating characters ever. I loved this book so much from beginning to end that it still continues to be one of my faves.


#6 = Misery (Stephen King)

I only read this one recently, and it's already on the list! :D All I can say is, "Wow!" Not only is it a fantastically matched game of cat-and-mouse, focusing almost entirely on just these two characters, but it's a simply fascinating look inside the mind of a writer. I especially love how vividly Stephen King describes this man's thought process. My absolute favourite aspect of the writing is how a sentence is sometimes interrupted and directly resumed after a brief, italicised paragraph, very much like how thoughts flash through the mind. I'll be very surprised if this doesn't remain my favourite of Stephen King's works.

#5 = The Dancing Bear (Michael Morpurgo)

This is by far the shortest book on the list – really just a novella – but it fills its time unbelievably well. :) The first half is spent setting up the mountain village environment and Roxanne's efforts to get the growing bear to stay. But the book's real power kicks in when it introduces a topic that's right up my alley: the arrival of a film crew! :) The second half is the making of the film, which, as you can imagine, is what interests me most. That's what makes the story for me. And then there's the bittersweet ending and the wonderfully realistic final sentence.


#4 = Jurassic Park (Michael Crichton)

Yep, one of my favourite movies of all time is also one of my favourite novels of all time! :D I don't know if I'd say the book is better than the movie, but it is a lot more detailed, especially on the philosophy of the true magnitude of the scientists' creations. The book's also much more suitably violent, often describing in detail people's gory injuries from the dinosaur attacks. The build-up in the first half is expertly calculated, and then the second half is so exciting that you breathlessly rush through it at lightning speed. What else can I say? I just *adore* Jurassic Park! :)


#3 = Watchmen (Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons)

All right, I know it's kind of cheating putting a comic book on the list, but Watchmen really is that good. With its ambiguous morals and complex, fascinating characters, it revolutionised how superhero comics were written, and it still holds up even today. At its most basic level, it's a murder mystery that leads to the uncovering of something much greater, but there's a tonne of other things going on besides, and nearly every single scene hits bullseye. Plus it's a fascinating look at how superheroes would integrate into a real-world environment. And the ending is a jaw-dropping shock but still a poignant dichotomy.

#2 = Artemis Fowl (Eoin Colfer)

There are eight books in the Artemis Fowl series, but for me, it's a no-brainer: the first one is the best. I can't even begin to describe how much I love this one! I love how the star is a criminal mastermind – and a child prodigy at that. I love the spin this story puts on the image of fairies: how their technology is aeons ahead of mankind. I love each and every character, and I especially love the book's dry sense of humour. It's all just right up my alley, and every single paragraph is pure genius! :) I adore it to death.



And my #1 favourite book of all time is… A Villain's Night Out (Margaret Mahy)

I guarantee you've just thought, "Never heard of it!" :) But trust me when I say you're missing something truly special. Like Misery, it's about trying to write a book, except this time the writer is a young boy forced to write a book for his school library, and the character he's created is appearing in his real life and driving him on. But along the way, the boy's little sister gets in on the act and keeps trying to sabotage his story. The rivalry between the big brother and the little sister basically becomes an all-out war for control of the story, and I frigging love it! :) As a child, I had this book on tape, and I listened to it so many times that, without any exaggeration, it changed the way I talked. It's a fascinating look at what happens when you go with the flow and see how your story turns out first time, even if it keeps being corrupted. I think A Villain's Night Out is simply fantastic, and really deserves more recognition. It's my all-time favourite book.

Runners-up: The Godfather (Mario Puzo) and Macbeth (William Shakespeare) would probably fill out the list if I were to attempt a top ten now.

   And those are my favourite books so far.

   But, for as few true masterpieces as I've come across to date, there are even fewer books that I actually disliked. Only about five or six, in fact.
   So that's the second list for today: my top five least favourite books.

#5 = Treasure Island (Robert Louis Stevenson)

Yeah, yeah, I know! But I have to be honest: for a classic story of pirates and treasure, I found it pretty underwhelming. Maybe my expectations were too high – or just completely off. I guess I was expecting more of an all-out battle for the treasure. But instead, once they reach the island, the two sides hardly ever see each other. In any case, I just found the story slow and clunky. It's not bad for what it is – it does have its moments – but it's just not tight enough to hold my interest. So this was a pretty lacklustre read.



#4 = Mr Majeika on the Internet (Humphrey Carpenter)

Now, the Mr Majeika books are obviously intended for young children, but I still enjoy reading them; most of the stories are solid. But this particular one is garbage! Being who I am, I just can't help getting picky about some glaring inaccuracies that are presented on how computers work. But I doubt I would have been drawn in even if it had got that stuff right. Rather than a retread of Gulliver's Travels, I would have preferred if the actual world of the Internet had been personified in the same vein as TRON, by making programs, websites and hardware visual and metaphorical.


#3 = The Ghost of Thomas Kempe (Penelope Lively)

I can't exactly remember why I didn't like this book, but throughout most of it, I was really just bored off of my ass. Maybe I didn't care about any of the characters, or maybe the writing style was too dreary, or maybe the book was too repetitive – I don't know. It just never wowed me at all, not even when the ghost starts doing progressively terrible things. I just remember I read it on someone else's recommendation, and I put Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets on hold to read it (which, coincidentally, was also rather disappointing, as I'd seen the film first).


#2 = Little Foxes (Michael Morpurgo)

It was actually hard to choose whether I disliked this or The Ghost of Thomas Kempe more. I decided to go with Little Foxes because I know Michael Morpurgo is more than capable of stories that genuinely tug on your heartstrings – that's what he's good at. But this one, for some reason, just doesn't work, though it tries to. I don't mind depressing stories, but they have to be intentionally so. When a movie or book fails at what it's trying to do, that actually depresses me more than a deliberately depressing story! :) In any event, there's just no joy in this one.


And my #1 least favourite book is… The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (Mark Haddon)

Oh, God! Hate this one! All the other books on this list just kind of underwhelmed me, but this is the only one that made me genuinely angry! Now, don't get me wrong: I can see why it's so popular; since the whole thing's written in the first person, I too commend Mark Haddon for staying so consistent with the character's dialect. But that's also where my whole problem with the book stems from. I hate this character with a fucking passion! I don't begrudge him simply for being autistic (I myself have Asperger's syndrome), but he still annoyed the shit out of me. I just couldn't stand his juvenile approach to everything; he's fifteen years old, but acts like he's about seven! If I met this guy in real life, he'd be lucky if he got ten minutes in my company before I made my excuses and left, let alone spend a whole novel with him! Maybe I'm being too impatient with him, but I don't care! Purely because of him, this was, hands down, the single worst read of my entire life.

Runner-up:
• The Turn of the Screw (Henry James) made no sense to me because I couldn't make head or tail of the nineteenth-century prose.

   So that covers both my favourite and least favourite books. Check in next week for the final pair of lists: my favourite TV shows and bands.