With that said, here's two weeks' worth of "first impressions" comments.
The Boxtrolls (2014)
Aside from that, it's a standard but still interesting kids' movie about family values.
The animation, of course, is wonderful, especially when you first see the Boxtrolls' lair.
One of my favourite parts is when it's established how misguided the villain's goal is; you don't often see a villain who has no idea that he's doing himself in like that.
I have mixed feelings about the Winnie character. On one hand, her sick obsession with bloodthirsty violence really made me laugh. But on the other hand, there's a scene where she won't stop screaming and gets annoying really fast.
All in all, pretty good, but probably nothing that's going to stick with me.
My rating: 70%.
Lucy (2014)
Right from when I first heard the premise, I couldn't help but laugh at how downright stupid it sounded! Look, until right now, I didn't realise the "10% of the brain" thing was an actual misconception; I always thought it was just an expression meaning that hardly anyone makes full use of their talents. But regardless, it's still a bullshit premise for a sci-fi movie!
That's not the only scientific inaccuracy I picked up on, either. Another is that the earliest life forms date from 3·5 billion years ago, not one billion.
And even simply as a movie, it lost me right from the opening scenes, when it keeps abruptly cutting between two completely unrelated series of events; the transitions are just jarring. But the moment this movie died for me is when Lucy calls her mother and suddenly starts talking about what's happening to her, which makes her sound insane.
The second half of the movie is mostly unremarkable, but it's so frustrating because it's serving such an idiotic purpose.
I hated this movie! It's quite possibly the worst movie of the year so far, right up there with The Legend of Hercules and A Long Way Down.
My rating: 15%.
If I Stay (2014)
So, what kind of message are we supposed to take from this? That if you're half-dead, you can wander around freely and acquire knowledge for when you recover?
Also, the narrative structure is kind of offputting: a lot of it is told in flashback, and the flashback sections bear no relevance to the scene at hand, so it actually feels like a romantic drama that keeps getting interrupted by the hospital scenes.
The romance itself is kind of manipulative, too, in that the characters are pretty flat, not much personality.
…But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't invested. The film is just so heavy on mood and enthusiasm that it's hard not to start falling for it.
Plus you have Chloe Grace Moretz giving a predictably flawless performance.
So, overall, I think it's okay. It was certainly a welcome relief right after such a terrible movie as Lucy, but I have to wonder if I'd be so lenient under different circumstances.
My rating: 65%.
Sex Tape (2014)
I usually find sex comedies insufferable, but this was a surprising exception – thanks mostly to the interplay between the two leads. The way Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel work off each other makes the dialogue sound natural and improvised, and never fails to amuse.
There's a running gag about how Jay keeps taking things far further than he needed to, which could easily make him look like an irredeemable idiot, but somehow that joke works too.
The whole sequence with the dog had me in stitches!
There were some gags that went a bit too far, like the blackmail scene. And any scene involving lying had me grinding my teeth, especially since some of those parts went on for too long.
But overall, much to my surprise, I liked this movie – although, judging from Rotten Tomatoes and IMDb, I seem to be a minority on that.
My rating: 70%.
Sin City 2: A Dame to Kill For (2014)
That unique atmosphere is almost perfectly recaptured with this sequel; I just can't get enough of the world this franchise presents. :) The characters are just as easy to latch onto as they attempt to fight the injustice in this corrupt hellhole of a city.
Sadly, though, the stories themselves just aren't as interesting this time around, and in some cases they seem to go on a bit too long. In the first movie, each story was just the perfect length, and the film even bookended itself really well, which made it feel satisfactorily complete. But this one feels very lopsided and not quite as fulfilling.
Several characters return from the first movie, but a couple of them are really distractingly recast. I can understand recasting the Manute character, since obviously Michael Clarke Duncan is sadly no longer with us, but why Dwight and Miho as well?
I was also pretty disappointed that nothing more is revealed about the mysterious man from the first one played by Josh Hartnett.
But overall, I was only too happy to return to this unique world and get a second dose. :) This sequel is still good, but it's not as good.
My rating: 70%.
Before I Go to Sleep (2014)
It sounds like an intriguing premise, but sadly it falls pretty flat in its execution. I'm just not a fan of these movies where everyone speaks very slowly, very simplistically, very little wit in the dialogue at all, hardly any jokes being told. That just makes the movie seem really wooden to me.
All the actors are giving it all they've got, but again, I wish they were more naturalistic.
However, the main thing the movie did for me was the plot twist in the third act. I obviously won't spoil it, but I will say this: I was half-correct in predicting it, but the circumstances actually took me by surprise. I wasn't expecting exactly what I got.
Overall, this is a pretty lacklustre but still interesting thriller that makes up in plot for what it lacks in performance.
My rating: 55%.
Next up, the two pairs of rentals for the last two weeks.
The Legend of Hercules (2014)
It's a retelling of the story of Hercules that imagines him as your typical Moses-like hero overthrowing a tyrant. It's as clichéd as it gets, and you can even pinpoint the famous historical epics it's blatantly ripping off. First it's 300, then it becomes Ben-Hur, then it becomes Gladiator, then it becomes every triumphant "people's hero" leader-type story you've ever seen before.
The first thing I noticed right away is that the CGI is awful! I mean, astonishingly bad! Some of the worst I've ever seen! The acting, too, crushes your spirit pretty quickly: every performance is so dull it's downright depressing.
On top of that, the only one of the famous twelve labours that's even remotely referenced is the Nemean lion. Even the Disney version had more to do with the legend than that!
On a minor note, when Hercules pulls down two stone pillars and starts swinging the stone blocks around on the ends of his chains, all I could think was, "Hulk SMASH!" :D ('Cos didn't he do something similar at one point in the Edward Norton movie?)
Overall, this is one of the most boring, derivative movies I've come across in quite a while. In terms of tradecraft, it's easily the worst movie I've seen so far this year… but it wasn't quite as frustrating as Lucy.
My rating: 20%.
Reasonable Doubt (2014)
This is another one that boasts a great premise but doesn't do the best job of realising it.
I had very little sympathy for the main character, who's so bad at hiding his guilty conscience that anyone with half a brain cell would immediately see right through him. But Samuel L Jackson's character is a really well written villain, thanks mostly to his motivation – which I won't spoil. :) He's what made this movie for me.
Aside from that, this is a pretty standard thriller. It keeps your interest well enough, but packs very little in the way of surprise. And it seemed really short; it flew by extremely quickly. In fact, they must have realised the script couldn't fill an entire movie and that the final product was too short, because it has the slowest credits I've ever seen: they're ironed out to a full ten minutes!
On the whole, it's just kind of mediocre.
My rating: 55%.
Divergent (2014)
And that's mainly due to the premise. I guess it plays to teenagers who are discovering their social standing, but this whole idea of a society that dictates people by their personality type is just laughable. There are five factions in this world, and Four says that he always wanted to be a little bit of all of them… but he can't be the first one to have ever brought up that point! People aren't that one-dimensional; personalities are far more complex than that. This movie basically turns everyone in the world into a one-note drone. I'm a very introverted individual – I know very little about how society really works – and I was picking up on this stuff! It's beyond unrealistic! I haven't seen a society so obviously broken since The Purge!
Plus, I never got everyone's rampant hatred for the Abnegation people. Why does everyone look down on them, spread lies and dub them criminals when, by definition, they're selfless, good Samaritans?
Aside from that, the movie just did very little for me. The characters are boring, so I didn't find their struggle interesting or suspenseful in any way. But the ending made me legitimately angry: it's as bullshit and predictable as it gets!
In conclusion, it's not offensively bad, but still pretty meagre.
My rating: 40%.
Labor Day (2014)
From the trailer, I got the impression that it was about an escaped convict keeping this woman and her son prisoner in their own home, but she ends up actually falling in love with him. But instead, he turns out to be a legitimately good guy, taking the place of a husband and father figure. The only problem is that he has to keep hiding his presence whenever someone comes to the door. It's just a really bizarre situation, and I'm not sure I mean that in a good way. I guess we're supposed to like the guy, to believe right from the start that the murder he was convicted for was an accident, but I think, in my case, there'd constantly be an ever-present fear that he could snap and kill us at any moment.
For that reason, I was never invested in the situation or cared about the romance. So, during the climax, when he's in real danger of being revealed, they drag the tension out for so long that, rather than being suspenseful, it just annoyed me.
I can't help but think how much better this movie would have been if it was actually about Stockholm syndrome. As it stands, it's just kind of confused and underwhelming.
My rating: 50%.
Now for a couple of movies I watched outside of my usual rentals; these are ones that I downloaded and watched on a whim. …Well, technically I chose the "rent" option on the first one (as it's an online On-Demand release), but fuck it, it still counts! :)
Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie (2014)
Man, this movie has a tonne going on! There's a car chase, a horrific dream sequence, zombies, robots, a giant monster movie homage, and much, much more! But it actually all flows together very well indeed; just about every step of the story feels natural. I love just how outrageous the situation keeps becoming as it progresses, like the Nerd is indeed in way over his head.
Needless to say, for an independent film, this is about as ambitious as it gets. I'd be lying if I said some of the obvious low-budget effects weren't distracting, but some of them just add to the humour in a big way. For example, seeing some of the actors turned into part of the miniature models is frigging hilarious! :D Besides, some other effects are legitimately slick – but unfortunately, those specific examples are in the climax, so I can't spoil too much.
And, speaking of which, the climax itself is definitely the highlight of the movie. There are too many laugh-out-loud funny moments to count, and even the payoff from a dramatic standpoint is priceless.
So yeah, colour me satisfied! :)
My rating: 85%.
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
What I read afterwards confirmed what I'd suspected while watching it: it's an homage film, a tribute to kung fu B-movies. Maybe it'll make more sense to people who've actually watched those movies, and I'll admit the plot does make a lot more sense on reflection, but while I was actually watching it, there were a number of detractors keeping me from going along with it. And that mainly stems from how the female characters are handled. I hate the damsel-in-distress cliché, and boy is it exploited to the nth degree here!
Also, there's a lot of expository dialogue that really piles on the Chinese lore, to the point where I had trouble keeping up.
But it was Kurt Russell's character that made the movie for me. He's basically the spokesman for the audience, the observer in all this crazy shit he suddenly finds himself in.
Also, that floating eyeball monster is a truly fantastic effect.
Overall, there's enough good plotting and entertainment value that I might see it again at some point, but for now, its anti-feminist streak and overwhelming exposition are really bugging me.
My rating: 55%.
Dumb and Dumber (1994)
This also applies to the two main characters – who I think are the main reason why the movie works so well. Obviously they're complete idiots, but with a childlike naïveté; nothing they do is malicious. Even when Lloyd does seemingly terrible things like give a dead parakeet to a blind orphan, he's just unaware of the trauma that he's potentially causing. Also, some people might point more towards Ace Ventura, but I view this as Jim Carrey at his funniest.
There's not even as much low-brow humour as I was expecting – only a small handful of bodily waste-related gags, in fact.
The only part I really didn't like was whenever they tried talking to ladies: that was just cringe-worthy. The kidnapping plot itself never quite added up for me, either.
But on the whole, all I can say is this is one of the funniest movies I've seen in a long time.
My rating: 80%.
Training Day (2001)
As the title implies, this movie takes place over the course of a single day, as a rookie narcotics detective (Ethan Hawke's Jake) is introduced to the gang neighbourhoods by an experienced veteran (Denzel Washington's Alonzo). And, as crime thrillers go, this is a pretty damn good one.
What really sticks out about it is how the two leads' relationship progresses from good-humoured banter to downright horrific disillusionment in the first two acts. Jake is the by-the-book, ethical cop, the character whose morals we can identify with. But as things progress and he sees Alonzo acting more and more like the common criminals, which Alonzo insists is required to understand them, we become just as anxious as he does.
Also, on a side note, I'd heard that Gary Sinise was considered for Denzel Washington's part, so while I was watching it, I kept imagining him in the role. And, honestly, as much as I love Gary Sinise, I just don't think he would have worked as well.
Sadly, the third act is where the movie lost me. It culminates in an action climax that feels completely tacked on. We can certainly understand Jake's motivation, and maybe you can kind of deduce Alonzo's, but it still doesn't make much sense for them to be at each other's throats like that.
It's a shame that that last act tarnishes a previously great movie.
My rating: 75%.
Next up, the latest PS3 game I played.
Assassin's Creed III (PS3)
You actually play as two characters in the past this time, and there's a brilliant twist after you finish with the first one. But after that, the game irreparably goes downhill. You start playing as a Native American whose village is under threat from the British colonists. I was left thinking, "Are we still in the same series? When did this become Pocahontas?"
One of the things I really hated about the second game was the control, how hard it was to send your character in the right direction. That problem is back in this game, and it's especially maddening when you're on horseback, which is almost impossible to steer.
Honestly, the most fun I had was during the sea battles. But again, that feels like an entirely different game, unrecognisable from the AC games of old.
Also, I found out later that this game actually references events in the Brotherhood and Revelations games, which are also part of the main series. So if, like me, you're going from Assassin's Creed II straight into this one, you're probably going to be totally lost!
I've decided I'm not a fan of this series. I still can't get into the story, and this one is easily my least favourite instalment to date.
My rating: 55%.
And finally, I just finished reading The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets' Nest – and with it, the whole Millennium trilogy.
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets' Nest (Stieg Larsson)
Lisbeth Salander is still my favourite character, but this really is an ensemble piece, with everyone contributing something in a big way. Honestly, the most boring parts involved the guys within Säpo working to keep things covered up. I'm glad they weren't portrayed as pure sinister villains, but they just seemed a little too passive to me.
My favourite thing about this book is that, even though it deals with investigative journalism and government espionage, it's written in a way that makes the characters and proceedings seem so down-to-earth and relatable that, whenever things do heat up and action ensues, it's all the more effective because it seems genuinely out of the ordinary.
Not to mention, it ends with a trial. I'm a huge fan of courtroom dramas, so that was right up my street. :)
All in all, a great ending to a great trilogy. Not quite as good as The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, but I liked it a little more than The Girl Who Played with Fire.
My rating: 85%.
I also have to say, I've seen the Dracula Untold trailer so many times that I'm getting pretty sick of it. It's quite a coincidence, though, that we're getting another Dracula and another Frankenstein movie in the same year. :) Let's hope Dracula fares better than Frankenstein did.
