First Impressions Review Diary 13-Sep-2014

   Well, it's been nearly three months since my last "first impressions" post, again because I felt no inclination to write a review whenever I saw a new movie. I still have very little to say about most of what I've seen in the last three months, but I'll do my best, even if it's only a couple of sentences.
   As always, I'll start with everything I've seen in the cinema. But first, here's a fun fact about the first two I'll mention: I went to see them both back-to-back, and in both cases, I was the only person in the cinema!

How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)

   I enjoyed this movie; that's all I can really say. It didn't completely wow me, so I could never quite shut off the part of my brain that was simply recognising the formulaic plot beats. But, much like the first movie, the stuff that's good is really, really good, especially the villain's motivation. So overall, I think it's a decent sequel. Not as good as the original, but nevertheless a fun time.
   My rating: 70%.




Jersey Boys (2014)

   Based on the Broadway musical of the same name, it chronicles the early life and career of the Four Seasons. Now, I didn't know the true story, so I was simply hoping the movie would present it to me in a coherent manner. It half succeeded: definitely in gradually building up their rise to fame. But I was constantly confused about the passage of time, like when they reveal that the band's career has apparently spanned two years and that sort of thing. One thing I can say for sure: after two months, Sherry is still stuck in my head! :) Overall, it's an okay movie. It's certainly not Clint Eastwood's best, but it at least helped to make up for some of the disappointment brought on by J Edgar.
   My rating: 60%.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)

   Much like How to Train Your Dragon 2, this movie kept me interested – I was always along for the ride – but it didn't blow my mind. It's definitely well written, though, especially the character arc of Koba. But there's a reason this movie is two-and-a-half hours long: it feels almost like two entirely different movies back-to-back. The first half is the humans' attempts to cooperate with the apes peacefully; the second half is the apes' takeover. One thing I didn't like was Gary Oldman's role: talk about a waste of a great actor! To sum it up, this is another one that doesn't quite live up to its predecessor but is still entertaining in its own right.
   My rating: 70%.

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

   I feel like Marvel Studios is losing steam, quite honestly. They've released two movies this year, and I was sorely disappointed in both of them. This one really frustrated me because it can't decide if it wants to be funny or serious, resulting in a very inconsistent tone. In regards to the humour, at least the trailer properly represented it: it's just plain awkward. Also, I see why they were plastering Rocket all over the advertising: because he's the only likable character! (Seriously, I can't emphasise this enough: I hated Peter Quill!) But, with that said, I did like parts of it, like the common theme of traitors in Gamora and Ronan. And like I said before, Rocket really made this movie for me; anything involving him was pure gold. But overall, this is probably my least favourite of the Marvel movies to date. It's not bad; I just found it to be a sadly uneven mess.
   My rating: 55%.

The Grand Seduction (2014)

   The residents of a small fishing village have one month to convince a visiting doctor to stay full-time, so that a local factory will be built and put them back in employment. I don't usually like comedies based on lies, and this movie was no different. Almost every lie from the villagers was either unfunny or just downright painful, especially when Murray lies about Kathleen's feelings. However, I very rarely got truly mad at the movie; I was just kind of underwhelmed for the most part – though I did really like the ending.
   My rating: 45%.


Into the Storm (2014)

   If you've heard people describe this as basically Twister 2, they're absolutely right. And, while it's not quite as brainless as that movie, it is far duller and more annoying. All the characters are stock clichés, and many of them quickly establish themselves as either idiots or assholes – especially those daredevils, whom I hated with a fiery passion! It's also a POV camera movie that often defies belief – many camera angles come completely out of nowhere – and during the climax, the movie just completely gives up on the gimmick. Though, speaking of which, the climax itself is admittedly thrilling, the special effects are really good, and the movie does a great job conveying the desolation the tornadoes cause. But for the most part, it just gets on your nerves.
   My rating: 35%.

   And rental season has now officially started for me! :D In the case of the first three, I rented a new release and two older ones – which, because of an offer at the store, cost me only €5.

Jeune & Jolie [AKA Young & Beautiful] (2013)

   It's about a teenage girl exploring her sexuality by posing as a prostitute, which she keeps hidden from her family. I knew her double life was going to be exposed eventually, but I was taken aback when it happened only halfway into the movie – and in a pretty unfortunate manner, too. I liked the second half a lot better, where she tries to turn over a new leaf and live a normal life. And the ending just left me confused: I'm not sure if it's meant to be symbolic or if it's just a continuity error. Overall, it was okay. It was pretty interesting, but it didn't leave that big an impression on me.
   My rating: 60%.

Audition (2000)

   I took Spoony's advice and knew nothing about this movie going in. But I'm going to reveal a little more than he did (so consider that your spoiler warning) because, honestly, I'm not really sure if I'd recommend this movie. It doesn't start out like a horror film, but you do suspect that the woman the main character's dating isn't what she appears. But as the mystery unfolds, everything flies completely off the deep end. Maybe it's meant to be confusing, but it's not scary: just frustrating. It's all so baffling that, at the end, all I could say was, "…What the fuck did I just watch?!" I'm never going to forget that final scene, though.
   My rating: 50%.

The Vanishing (1988)

   While on holiday in France, Rex's girlfriend Saskia disappears, leading him to desperately, obsessively search for her until her abductor contacts him three years later. What struck me about this movie was how much time is devoted to the kidnapper, showing in detail how he went about committing the crime. This is another example of a movie that's really well written but didn't do much for me personally – for two main reasons. One is probably just a simple translation error: I was confused how the subtitles keep referring to Saskia as Rex's "friend"; they were so intimate at the beginning I could have sworn she was his wife. And the other is Rex's new girlfriend Lieneke, who seems way too cool with his continued obsession over Saskia. So overall, it's okay. But what truly makes it stand out is the ending. I mean, dear God!
   My rating: 65%.

I, Frankenstein (2014)

   Maybe it's because of its overwhelmingly negative reputation, but I actually didn't hate this movie; I was mostly just completely indifferent to it. Right from the opening scenes, I was prepared for it to simply be a standard action fantasy. It did get laughable at times, like naming the monster Adam of all things, not to mention Bill Nighy's outrageously over-the-top performance, but for the most part it's just dull and utterly unremarkable.
   My rating: 40%.



Starred Up (2014)

   The title refers to the main character's early transfer from a Young Offender Institution to an adult prison. I haven't seen that many prison movies, but I'd say this one more accurately represents life on the inside than The Shawshank Redemption does: it's pretty clear that you don't want to mess with anybody in this prison. What really holds it all together is the main character, who's a savage beast, but resourceful enough to quickly exploit his surroundings. It's an overall suitably grave and blunt movie, until it's sadly let down by a cliché-ridden climax – which also takes a turn into overly sentimental by comparison.
   My rating: 70%.

Under the Skin (2014)

   Going into this movie, I was simply under the impression that it was trying to be the next Species. But instead, right from the very beginning, it seems more like it's trying desperately to be a Stanley Kubrick movie, with a very slow pace and a vague, visual-fuelled narrative. But the difference is that this premise doesn't come across like it's meant to be a mind trip; it really needs to be cohesive. It just leaves tonnes of questions unanswered. What is that liquid she traps men in? Who's that guy working with her? Why does she suddenly change her mind halfway through the movie? Why does she need men's skin in the first place? None of this is ever explained. I was constantly thinking, "What the hell is going on?!"
   My rating: 35%.

The Raid 2 (2014)

   I loved the first Raid, so of course I was looking forward to this one. It's certainly a much more complicated story; I had a bit of trouble keeping up. Also, the more screen time the criminals got, the more I wondered what had happened to the undercover cop story we were starting out with. But all the characters' motivations made perfect sense, so I began to become more and more invested as it progressed. And then the third act made all the difference. I mean, WOW! The action scenes are some of the best in recent memory, including one of the best car chases I've ever seen, period! They're so exhilarating that I felt like I had to take a breather after each one was over! This is, hands down, one of the best movies of the year so far – top three easily.
   My rating: 85%.

Need for Speed (2014)

   One of the main selling points for this movie was that all the stunts were done the old-school way: with real cars, no CG at all. And, while that is impressive in theory, something went very wrong by the time the project was finalised. I think the main problem is that the music is drab, which doesn't make the action scenes the least bit exciting. Otherwise, this is about as predictable a movie as you can get. All the characters are assholes, and idiots to boot: they're committing felonies left and right!
   My rating: 35%.


A Long Way Down (2014)

   Wow, two movies in a row featuring Aaron Paul and Imogen Poots! :D Except this one is actually even worse! Right from the opening scene, the movie's joking approach to the characters committing suicide made me distinctly uncomfortable. It's a failed attempt to be darkly humorous about a very delicate subject. The rest of the movie that follows is just as awkwardly unfunny. The characters often get on your nerves, but by far the most annoying is Jess: she never shuts up! It's a movie that shoots itself in the foot right from the start and never recovers. Hands down, the absolute worst movie of the year so far.
   My rating: 25%.

   And finally, the latest PS3 game I've played.

Assassin's Creed II (PS3)

   This one's a mixed bag: it's simultaneously better than the first one and far worse. The beginning instantly drew me in, with its more personal, revenge-driven story. And simply being able to swim is an instant improvement! :D Several other new mechanics are added, including a sequence where you use a flying machine designed by Leonardo da Vinci (which, by the way, leads to an amazing reaction from the guards who spot you). It's also a lot more diverse than the original, far less repetitive – though that does mean it seems to ramble quite a bit, with a far weaker sense of story progression.
   However, the major, MAJOR problem with this game is the directional control. You have to be very accurate with the joystick, or else your character takes a dive in the wrong direction – which often results in a long fall! I can't even begin to describe how much the controls frustrated me, especially in timed sections! I was reduced to screaming streams of curses at the TV, Spoony-style!
   But aside from that, the ending was maybe the biggest problem I had; I just thought it was rushed. When the credits started, I was like, "Really? That's it?"
   So overall, this game almost trumps the original, but its meandering narrative and godforsaken controls let it down big time.
   My rating: 75%.

   On a final note, there's one particular upcoming release I want to mention: Paddington. I'm sure I'm not alone in thoroughly looking forward to this movie. Paddington Bear represents some of my most cherished childhood memories. In fact, the very earliest memory I have is of my dad reading Paddington to me in a funny voice: a wannabe posh accent. I really hope this movie does the character justice. Though, judging from the trailer, the special effects are already unimpressive: Paddington himself, of course, is all CG and looks like shit.