As you may remember, I saw GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra a few weeks ago, and it was one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. So, with the sequel, I figured the only way it could go was up.
Zartan, under the guise of the US President, wipes out the GI Joe team, but three Joes who survived are out for revenge. Meanwhile, Cobra Commander is sprung from jail and plots to take over the world via nuclear weapons.
Well, at least this sequel is better paced than its predecessor! :) It doesn't rush along like a runaway train; it plays out very naturally. But it also plays out like a very typical action movie; pretty much every beat is predictable. The plot is much easier to follow than the first movie, and it almost works. But the action scenes are over-edited (though not torturously so), the CG effects look like shit, and it's a continuation of a story I never cared about, so I was sitting there indifferent for most of the movie.
The inclusion of Storm Shadow did confuse me, though: I seemed to recall he died in the first one. And yes, I checked: there's no way he could have survived!
In conclusion, this movie's way better than the first one, but it's still a below-average action movie. I wasn't mad at it; there's just nothing remarkable about it.
My rating: 40%.
Now, perhaps equating it to Twilight was a bit harsh – this one does have more of a story and actual stakes to it – but, as it's a supernatural love story that came out in the wake of Twilight, the comparisons are inevitable.
At first, I really thought I was going to hate Ethan, because he does nothing but quote pretentious poetry. But I did kind of buy into his relationship with Lena: he's the only one who's nice to her, and they do bond over their shared interest in poetry; that at least gives them more of a foundation for a relationship than Edward and Bella!
Jeremy Irons and Emma Thompson's southern accents are really distracting, though, Irons in particular.
One thing I really hated was the Emily character. She does nothing but chastise Lena for religious reasons. She's that clichéd one-dimensional asshole that I hate for all the wrong reasons!
But my real issue is that the movie has no regard whatsoever for pacing. Spoilers here, but the plot just meanders to the point where I honestly thought the mind-wipe scene was the end.
Overall, this movie is terribly flawed, with bad visual effects and inconsistent pacing… but it's still better than Twilight! :)
My rating: 45%.
Now, don't get me wrong: I was still looking forward to this movie, since it is Chan-wook Park's first English-language film. Alas, I didn't like it. But not for the reasons you might be thinking.
The opening scenes really set the tone for everything to follow. Remember how I thought the beginning of Beautiful Creatures was pretentious? I'd seen nothing yet! Not even the most talented actors could make these lines work; a lot of them state the obvious.
And I hate to say this, but the movie is at times pretentious in a technical sense as well. For example, that weird thing with the light in the basement.
It's a shame, because the story itself does have potential. The whole narrative is basically about how the homicidal Uncle Charlie gradually influences India. Though I think that scene where she masturbates to the murder he committed in front of her was a step too far; that was just plain fucked up!
In conclusion, no other movie this year, and probably none of the ones to come, left me so crushingly disappointed. I'm just going to go and watch Oldboy (and Shadow of a Doubt) again.
My rating: 35%.
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