First Impressions: "The Host", "Jack the Giant Slayer" + "Side Effects" (2013)

   Now, because Xtra-vision will soon be closing down, I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to keep renting movies in batches of three like this. There is another rental store in town, but I think that one only lets out two movies at a time.
   Anyway, let's start talking about this week's trio. :)

   Needless to say, I went into The Host expecting to hate it. And… I knew this would happen! I expected the absolute worst, so I didn't get it! I mean, don't get me wrong – it's bad – but I was expecting it to be potentially the worst movie of the year.
   The premise is that mankind has been almost completely taken over by parasitic aliens. Melanie Stryder is the latest victim, but her own mind remains intact and starts to fight back against the foreign entity in her head, so she's always in two minds.
   Now, that sounds like an intriguing sci-fi premise. But the reason Melanie clings on is for the people she loves most. So yes, the aliens are foiled by the power of love! Oh, fuck off!
   Another big problem is that, just like Twilight, the characters are all flat as pancakes. So, for instance, we're told that Melanie and Jared are in love, but we never see their relationship develop, so we don't believe it.
   You want to know the moment this movie died for me? Early on, when Melanie's fighting for control of the car, the car suddenly leaps into the air just so it can roll off the road. Uh, bullshit! That road was perfectly even; there was no reason for the car to leave the ground!
   To sum up, while I didn't hate this movie (again, because I was expecting to), it's still shoddily written and about as sappy as it gets.
   My rating: 25%.

   Now for Jack the Giant Slayer.
   In this take on the classic fairytale, Princess Isabelle runs away from home and takes shelter from the rain in Jack's house. Then the beanstalk grows up through the floor, pinning the house on the top, so Jack joins a team sent by the king to rescue the princess.
   In the opening scenes, the movie was just what I thought it would be: a predictable but still interesting story with straightforward fairytale sensibilities. They play the adventurous princess who's being forced to marry card, which had me calmly thinking, "Yeah, yeah. Get on with it." But the villain is painfully obvious right from the start; he is straight-up boring.
   The CGI looks just as fake as I thought it would. And, as the film progresses, it just seems to get worse and worse. There's one moment in the final battle where a boulder sails over the battlements, which looks laughably bad.
   I did like parts of the movie, though, like when the beanstalk's coming down and it really simulates a plane coming into land.
   Ironically, for a movie called Jack the Giant Slayer, he hardly slays any giants at all!
   But overall, I don't have that much to say about this movie. It was entertaining, but nothing special.
   My rating: 50%.

   And finally, Side Effects.
   The plot revolves around Emily Taylor, as she's prescribed a new experimental medicine for her bouts of depression – and at first, it seems like it's going to be a straightforward tale of her trying to live with it. Then, after she kills her husband while sleepwalking as a side effect of the drug, it becomes a completely different movie: a legal drama first, as it's debated who should be held responsible for her actions, and then a conspiracy thriller, as her psychiatrist, Dr Banks, tries to uncover the truth.
   I have to admit, this is a tough one to review. It's definitely well written; I can't see any plot holes or loose ends in the mystery. The acting, for the most part, is solid, especially from Rooney Mara.
   But I wasn't totally impressed. While I got the basic gist of how the mystery was unfolding, the conclusions that Dr Banks comes to – or rather his explanations for how he came to those conclusions – went right over my head. So his various attempts to get information left very little impact on me, because nothing that was being said really earned my interest until the very end. And, without actually giving away the final revelation, let's just say it's clear why those involved would want it covered up! :)
   To sum up, I can understand perfectly if you were fully invested in this movie. It's just that, personally, I wasn't. Honestly, I found myself wishing for the conclusion to just hurry up.
   My rating: 60%.