Top 10 Movies That I Hate But Everyone Else Loves

   Are there any movies that you seriously disagree with everyone else on? I'm sure everyone has one or two, and I'm no different. Usually if everyone else likes or dislikes a movie, I'm pretty much guaranteed to be on the bandwagon, but of course there are exceptions. So my next pair of lists will be highlighting a few of them.
   First, I'm going to talk about the top ten movies that I can't stand – they just annoy the hell out of me – but everyone else seems to enjoy them. So I hope I don't piss on any of your favourite movies here! :) Or if I do, let's hope I can explain myself well enough.
   So these are the top ten movies that I hate but everyone else seems to love.

#10 = The Goonies (1985)

This is kind of like a kids' version of Indiana Jones. …And that's my main problem with it! :) As a kid, I never even heard of this movie; I didn't discover it until only a few years ago, and it was so obviously gearing towards kids alone that it was just embarrassing. …Although, when I say it's meant for kids, I really can't be sure: the kids in the movie are pretty foul-mouthed! It's really just that it was far less mature than I was expecting. I might warm up to it more if I watch it again. That's why it's only number ten.



#9 = Witness (1985)

I first saw this one in secondary school, in a hall with really bad acoustics, so that certainly didn't help. Now, to its credit, I can understand why it won an Oscar for Best Screenplay: it's a simple but theoretically effective fish-out-of-water story. But what really kills it for me is the performance. The dialogue is in that deliberately simplistic style that just does not sound natural, and it really makes the acting seem wooden. That and I just didn't warm up to the Amish environment, even though Harrison Ford's character does. The premise is promising, but it really fell flat for me.

#8 = Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

Everyone says this is closer to the original Roald Dahl book than Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, but I really don't see that. As far as I can see, the two movies are equally distant. But, whereas the Wonka version was charming and magical, this one just annoys the fuck out of me, especially Johnny Depp's performance as Wonka himself! But the main problem with this movie is that it focuses on Wonka rather than Charlie. Big mistake! Charlie's the character we can all relate to; he should be the heart of the story. Needless to say, I'll take the Wonka version any day.


#7 = Horrible Bosses (2011)

Because Kevin Spacey was in this, I guess I went into it expecting something more serious. But even as a comedy, I still couldn't stand it. Most of the humour comes from the actors just clowning around – and I hate to break it to you, but clowning in and of itself is not funny! Especially not when you're constantly wishing death on the characters for making unforgivably stupid mistakes! I wanted to get up and leave by about the halfway point, the film was annoying me so much! This turned out to be the first time I ever left a cinema legitimately angry!


#6 = Rango (2011)

I guess I commend this movie for trying to make a western for kids, but it's just not a fun film to watch. It's a very dark movie, which I don't usually complain about, but here it just seems downright mean-spirited; there's not really anything good to offset it. No good humour, no good virtues – nothing. That and the main character is the most annoying kind of screw-up; you just end up wanting to smack him. When you're not reeling in terror from those unblinking eyes, that is! :) Between this and Pirates of the Caribbean, Gore Verbinski should not be allowed to make kids' movies!


#5 = Notting Hill (1999)

I liked Hugh Grant in Four Weddings and a Funeral, but by God is he irritating here! I just want to punch him in the face every time he doesn't know when to shut up! Plus, this movie has a very downbeat, sombre tone that just kind of bores and depresses me. I guess it's supposed to reflect the cruelty of life, but I don't buy it. The story is a clichéd Hollywood romance, and shouldn't be treated any differently. When the movie does crack a joke, it either makes me cringe (especially the Horse and Hound business) or just sit there in awkward silence.


#4 = Bridesmaids (2011)

I never understood why this garnered so much praise among critics and audiences alike! My issues with it all stem from one simple problem: every single character is a complete asshole! So, if you're not rooting for either side, the rivalry that dominates the story falls completely flat and just comes across as immature bickering. I think it's all summed up in two early scenes: the tennis game and Annie and Helen trying to upstage each other. I honestly can't believe how selfish these characters are! I just love the scene where Lillian tells Annie basically to grow up. My sentiments exactly! :)

#3 = Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

Now, when I first saw this and announced on Facebook how much I hated it, people freaked! They were like, "How dare you!" So I guess this movie really struck a chord with some people, but I just thought it was horrendously awful! And again, a lot of that comes from the main character, who is one of the least likable protagonists ever. He doesn't even qualify as a nerd; he's just a worthless prick! That and the movie doesn't have a very lively tone. The actors look so dead-eyed that it just seems like they really don't want to be there.


#2 = Borat (2006)

This is another one where people just go nuts when I say I didn't like it! But the fact is the character of Borat annoys the eternal fuck out of me! I don't care if his actions are supposed to be annoying: they're still not fun to watch! To me, there's a limit to how stupid (or naïve) a character can be before he stops being funny, and Borat doesn't just cross that line: he leaves it in the fucking dust! Also, what was up with his comment that Pamela Anderson has the asshole of a seven-year-old?! Dude, that's just wrong!



And the #1 movie that I hate but everyone else seems to love is… Anchorman (2004)

Oh, God! Hate this movie! You know, I'm starting to realise that most of the higher-ranking movies on this list are comedies that just don't appeal to my sense of humour, and this movie is the complete opposite of what I find funny! I've been told that it appeals to everyone else because it embraces the silly side of all of us. Well, maybe I'm just such a snob that I can't stand silliness, period! Or maybe it's just that these actors have no charm whatsoever. After all, Monty Python gets very silly too, but I love those movies – perhaps because the actors are much more charismatic and dignified, so they can pull it off. But here, it just comes off as vulgar. Either way, I simply don't find Anchorman funny; what can I say? Of all the movies on this list, this is the one that people seem to get into the most, which is why it's an easy fit for the number one spot.

   And those are the top ten movies that I hate but everyone else seems to love. And before you go too nuts about it, the reverse situation is coming up shortly! :) Next week, I'm going to do the top ten movies that I like but everyone else seems to hate. So, stay tuned.