First Impressions: "The Longest Yard" [AKA "The Mean Machine"] (1974)

   Just saw the original Longest Yard – or, as it's apparently called in the UK, The Mean Machine. Yeah, imagine my confusion, especially knowing about the Adam Sandler remake!
   This is the second American football movie I watched today, after revisiting The Blind Side! :D And I… didn't like it. I'm sorry: this seems to be a very popular movie, but it didn't do a thing for me at all.
   I am not a sports fan myself, but that doesn't necessarily mean I won't like a sports movie. It all depends on whether or not I like the characters enough to cheer for them. But here, I just didn't care. They're all prisoners – hell, we even hear about some of the grisly crimes they committed – so why should I care?
   Even in the climax, when (spoilers) Crewe keeps going just to defy the warden, I still didn't care. And, since I don't understand the rules to American football, the game itself made no sense to me.
   On the whole, I just found the movie dull and far too long.
   My rating: 40%.

Dangerous Creatures: World Wildlife Fund

   Without help from the World Wild Fund for Nature, these Kodiak bears might completely disappear.
   They’ve got an unfortunate reputation, but sharks deserve to be saved too.
   If you were endangered, wouldn’t you want someone to protect you?
   The fate of Indonesia’s tropical rainforests means life or death to hundreds of animal species, like the Komodo dragon.
   Saving coral reefs is vital for the survival of many kinds of marine plant and animal life.
   The tiger. This beautiful beast might be gone very soon without our help.
   Video: We share our planet with so many wonderful creatures. It’s up to us to preserve the Earth in all of its beauty and diversity. World Wide Fund for Nature works to protect the habitats of endangered species around the world. Its members are making a difference every day.
   Advice: Do you love wild animals? Then don’t just sit still! Do something to protect them. Join World Wildlife Fund, plant trees, recycle, clean up a stream… These creatures need your help.

   And that concludes this final chain. In the program, World Wildlife Fund leads to The Web of Life, which we’ve already covered.

   Well, we’ve come to the end of our showcase of all the narration from Microsoft’s Dangerous Creatures. Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it and found it informative.
   I’ve never been good at conclusions, so thanks again. See you round.

Dangerous Creatures: Protecting Animals

   These creatures are our friends. We can’t let them disappear.
   If they can’t protect themselves, we must help them out.
   When we pollute our water, we endanger our environment, our wildlife and ourselves.
   What would you do if your neighbour was hurt? Why, you’d help him, of course. The same applies to animals.
   Knowledge is the key to finding out how we can help our planet’s wildlife survive.
   Zoos may be the only hope for some endangered species.
   Every animal deserves to be left to live and thrive in its natural habitat.
   Wild animals belong in the wild, not in the laboratory.
   Video: The last known thylacine, or Tasmanian wolf, died in captivity in 1936. These animals are gone from the Earth forever.
   Advice: Protecting animals means more than just getting people to stop shooting them. We’ve got to make sure they have places to live and raise their young, and the right prey or plants to eat as well.

Next: If we don’t start protecting animals, many will become extinct. World Wide Fund for Nature works to promote biodiversity. That means saving all the plants and animals on this planet.

Dangerous Creatures: Rat

(Almost everywhere)

   A female rodent may spend her entire life having and raising babies. As many as seventy per year!
   Why do rodents constantly gnaw and chew? They have a very good reason.
   Many rodents have similar tracks. But the rat leaves a sweaty trail.
   Rats are clean little animals. It’s the fleas they carry with them that transmit disease.
   Who controls the rat patrol? Snakes, frogs and owls keep the rat population down.
   To make life better for humans, rats have donated more than just time to medical research.
   Rats can live almost anywhere, and will do anything to travel to new places.
   Video: Rats are as much at home in a city as they are in the wild. Inside the walls of houses or in sewers under the streets. Rats live easily with humans.
   Advice: All rodents have vicious teeth. So never try to pick up a wild rat. For that matter, don’t squeeze or tease a tame one. My brother’s pet mouse latched onto my finger once, and I thought I’d never get it off!

   Following this in the program is a game called Whose Tracks Are These?: If a rat left its footprints across your floor, would you recognise its tracks? Test your skill at identifying animal tracks.
   What’s coming tomorrow follows that: Even when you don’t see wild animals, you can discover where they live from examining their tracks. Finding out where and how they live is the first step in a programme for protecting them.

Dangerous Creatures: Moray Eel

(Shallow tropical and subtropical seas worldwide)

   Eels generally dine on small fish, molluscs and crustaceans. In some places, the eel itself may be on the menu.
   Deep in the dark water, these bizarre-looking eels, called gulper eels, use glowing lures and cavernous mouths to catch their prey.
   Moray eels come in colours and patterns. The ribbon eel, famed for its beauty, is a favourite of aquarium owners.
   The eel only bites if it’s threatened, or mistakes some part of a person for its usual food.
   If you’re diving in eels’ habitat, don’t stick your hand down that hole! A waiting eel may think it’s a fish.
   Video: Moray eels always have their mouths open – not for biting, but for breathing. Although occasionally one might challenge a diver, it’s usually the people who are disturbing the eels, not the other way around.
   Advice: If you’re ever unlucky enough to have a moray bite you, experts say you should grin and bear the pain. The eel will eventually let go and swim away. Then you can do the same.

   And that’s the end of this chain. In the program, Moray Eel leads to Stingray, which we’ve already covered.
   And now for the very last chain of all. It begins with a game called The Meeting Place, so tomorrow’s article follows on from that: All over the world, many animals share their environments with rats.

First Impressions: "Planet of the Apes" (1968)

   So yesterday I finally got round to seeing the original Planet of the Apes – but I didn't comment on it right away because, as yet, I wasn't thinking straight. But suffice to say, for me, the movie definitely lived up to its hype! :)
   For one thing, it's a much darker movie than I was expecting! Not only are the humans in this world brutally oppressed, but what happens to Charlton Heston's comrades is actually really shocking.
   But on top of that, the humans being in the reverse position of the apes, in terms of the contrast it creates, is a hilariously brilliant idea. But it also makes for a fantastic parallel of the big religion-versus-evolution argument. The movie doesn't come out and preach all that social and theological satire, though: it all blends right into the story.
   The ape makeup effects are stunning, even if the lips don't always sync up properly and you can tell that the makeup is impeding the actors' speech.
   I love the music – anything by Jerry Goldsmith, I think is gold.
   And the ending, even though it's since been flat-out spoiled because that iconic image is now on every poster for the movie, is still a great twist.
   So, on the whole, I think this is one of many movies whose reputation precedes it. Planet of the Apes is a great movie.
   My rating: 95%.

Dangerous Creatures: Electric Eel

(South America)

   The electric catfish. This is one kind of cat you would not wish to cuddle up to!
   Eels come in all shapes, sizes and colours.
   Equipped with radar, and an organ that stuns with a 550-volt blast, the electric eel is indeed shocking.
   Baby eels don’t need a map to find their way through hundreds of miles of ocean.
   The electric ray, which is related to the shark, stuns its prey with two hundred volts of electricity.
   Video: The marks on an electric eel’s skin are not pimples. They’re electric receptors. These fish use electric pulses not only to stun their prey, but also to communicate with each other.
   Advice: You wouldn’t stick your finger into an electric socket, would you? So stay away from an electric eel. These creatures can send six hundred volts through your body. If the shock doesn’t kill you, it’ll certainly make your hair stand on end.

Next: An electric eel is not really a true eel, but rather just a different kind of fish. To see a true eel, look for a moray.

Dangerous Creatures: Boa

(Central and South America, India, Madagascar, tropical Asia, Caribbean Islands)

   The giant skink and the Pacific boa. These interesting reptiles live on South Pacific islands.
   Camouflage for the growing emerald boa. Red at first for the low bushes, and emerald green by tree time.
   Elastic jaws! You can see why rats go out of their way to avoid a boa constrictor!
   Clever camouflage! The emerald tree boa can hide from the harpy eagle and sneak up on an appetising opossum dinner.
   The anaconda, a type of water boa, can grow to be a giant.
   Similar lifestyles, different continents: the green tree python and the emerald boa.
   Video: Hanging upside-down is no problem for an emerald tree boa. It just wraps its tail around a branch as an anchor. Swallowing a full-grown parrot for supper might be a little harder.
   Advice: Boas are not venomous. But they can bite, and they have sharp teeth. Don’t move your hand quickly in front of a boa, or it may mistake your hand for prey. And don’t ever let a boa give you a hug!

Next: A boa is a thick-bodied, muscular snake, and some types like the water. Don’t mistake this next animal for a harmless water snake! It’s an electric eel.

Dangerous Creatures: Harpy Eagle

(Southern Mexico, South America)

   Hawks and eagles are powerful hunters.
   Owls do most of their hunting at night.
   An eagle’s incredible long-distance vision can zoom in on even the smallest animals.
   The sloth and the spider monkey have to guard against attack from the harpy eagle. It can swoop down at fifty miles an hour.
   The eagle is a raptor, or a bird of prey. As is the osprey. Just look at those wings!
   Video: In addition to hunting on land or in the air, many eagles have mastered fishing. Eagles all over the world use this method of hunting, from the bald eagle in North America to the fish eagle in Africa.
   Advice: Harpy eagles can swoop down on a monkey at fifty miles per hour. But you’re safe. As long as you don’t wear a monkey suit and swing from trees in the rainforest!

Next: Harpy eagles live in the tropical rainforests of Central and South America. So also do many types of boa constrictor.

Dangerous Creatures: Tarantula

(North, Central and South America, Europe, northern Africa, southern Asia, Australia)

   In spite of its reputation, the tarantula, which is any big and hairy spider, is not really dangerous to humans.
   Spiders, including tarantulas, have beautifully designed fangs, don’t you think?
   Not all spiders hunt the same way. Some use tricks to lure their prey close.
   Spiders eating mice? Lizards? Here’s a spider with a really big appetite!
   How does a large, fearsome spider like a tarantula end up as baby food?
   Video: Tarantulas don’t build webs to catch their prey. Instead, they are hunting spiders that pounce on their victims. Some even eat birds!
   Advice: Tarantulas are big and hairy, and they may jump at you if you tease them. So they can be very frightening. But they are really very nice spiders to have around.

Next: If you were sitting on the branch of a tree in a Latin American rainforest, you might see a tarantula crawl by. Or a harpy eagle flying beneath the forest canopy.

Dangerous Creatures: Black Widow Spider

(North, Central and South America, tropical Europe and Asia, Africa, northern Australia)

   A female black widow is a much better mother than she is a mate.
   Spiders use silk thread, produced within their own bodies, to make their webs.
   Some females are more deadly than the males of their species.
   A bite from the black widow, or the rattlesnake, will hurt. But it’s not likely to kill you.
   You’d bring a gift as well! A female black widow, like some scorpions, may eat the male after mating.
   Video: A female black widow is a good homemaker. She guards her egg sac until the babies hatch, and carefully wraps up extra food for future meals.
   Advice: Black widows bite only in self-defence. So if you see one, leave it alone. They like to make their webs across the seats in outdoor toilets. So I suggest you look before you sit!

Next: Not all spiders are as dangerous as the black widow. One that looks frightening but is relatively harmless is the tarantula.

Dangerous Creatures: Funnel-Web Spider

(Australia)

   Their venom is deadly. So be thankful there’s an antidote!
   You may know that spiders have fangs, but knowing how and when they use them are the important points.
   Having lots of eyes does not mean great eyesight. At least, for most spiders.
   Here’s another spider with a clever way to trap its dinner: the trapdoor spider.
   Video: How would you provide yourself with an appetising meal? Step one: build yourself a web on the ground. Step two: hide in the middle. Step three: rush out when the vibrations tell you that dinner has arrived. And step four: eat heartily at your leisure.
   Advice: In Australia, don’t get too friendly with any spider, or snake, or reptile, or amphibian. Australia is the home of a lot of amazing animals, and many of them are venomous.

Next: An Australian funnel-web spider can inject powerful venom. So can a black widow.

Dangerous Creatures: Cats

   Some cats are very comfortable in the trees.
   Cats are stealthy hunters. They sneak up quietly, and then they pounce.
   The cheetah. This cat’s a sprinter. He’s fast, but he can’t keep it up for long.
   Have you ever wondered why domestic cats never have any trouble getting around at night? Here’s the answer.
   Most people never climb as high into the mountains as the snow leopard does. It may not be climbing for much longer, however.
   Humans are not the only mammals that take good care of their young. What about this for a good mother?
   If you’re prey and you have a group of these crafty hunters (lions) around, you’d better take cover!
   All cats belong to the Felidae family.
   Video: Wild cats of all sizes and colours once roamed all over the world. But many now face the threat of extinction. If we lost any of these beautiful animals, Earth would be a much poorer place.
   Advice: If humans had the powers of cats, we would see well in the dark, and be able to leap from the pavement to the roofs of buildings. But we couldn’t ride bicycles or dial telephones.

And that’s the end of this chain. Cats leads to a screen that we’ll encounter in a later one. There are only two very short chains left now. The next one begins tomorrow with the deadly funnel-web spider.

Dangerous Creatures: Centipede

(North, Central and South America, Europe, Asia, Africa)

   The bite of most centipedes is no worse than a bee sting. They eat household and garden pests.
   Legs for crawling. Legs for climbing. Legs for sprinting. But legs to breathe with?! [i.e. ragworms]
   Centipedes mean big trouble for a lot of tiny animals.
   At night, centipedes, scorpions and tarantulas come out from under rocks and logs to hunt.
   Like the centipede, the passion-vine caterpillar also has a lot of legs. And a secret weapon.
   Driller wasps, lionfish and coral snakes. They’re pretty, they’re colourful, and they’re dangerous.
   Video: How can you tell a millipede from a centipede? On each segment of its body, a millipede has two pairs of legs, while a centipede has just one pair per segment.
   Advice: If you want to find a centipede, turn over every stone you see. They like to hide in dark, cool places. Of course, you might find a few other interesting things as well.

Next: A centipede does its hunting at night. And so do most wild cats.

Dangerous Creatures: Forest Environments

   Now, here’s a peculiar kind of forest: a eucalyptus forest. And just look at what lives in it!
   Tropical rainforests contain many of the world’s plant and animal species. But maybe not for much longer.
   When forests disappear, so do the animals that depend on them.
   Some areas really get a lot of rain. Here’s one of them: Hoh Rainforest, Washington State.
   In cooler climates, surviving can be a complicated business. But conifer trees have the art.
   Deciduous forests change dramatically with the seasons.
   Video: Forests are not just trees. They provide food and shelter for all kinds of animals. In Africa, endangered mountain gorillas play in the small forest reserves they call home.
   Advice: Do you know how many plants and animals live in trees, especially in a tropical rainforest? I started taking an inventory once, but I gave up after I ran out of paper in my notebook!

Next: Forests are home to many different types of animals. On the ground, you might find centipedes.

Dangerous Creatures: Grassland Environments

   Like dragonflies, damselflies hunt for insects in meadows.
   Australian scrublands. Some people might think that not many animals live in this kind of place. Not true!
   The American bison was almost wiped out a long time ago. It’s a good thing it wasn’t, don’t you think?
   Meadows are much richer habitats than you might suppose.
   Just as the environment affects the animals, the animals also affect the environment.
   The African savannahs are natural treasures.
   When the food supply gets low, many animals move to greener pastures.
   Video: A rhea is a grassland bird that’s tall enough to look you in the eye. Perhaps surprisingly, it’s the male rhea that digs a nest, hatches the eggs and cares for the chicks.
   Advice: When I say grassland, I’m talking about wild grasslands where the grass grows tall. Sorry. Your lawn doesn’t count.

Next: Natural grasslands exist in only a few locations in the world. The same is true of natural forests.

Dangerous Creatures: Cheetah

(Africa, the Middle East)

   Cheetahs are fast. But some other animals are faster than you might think.
   The serval and the caracal live in the African savannah.
   Young cheetahs practise their hunting skills while playing with each other.
   Cheetahs are champion runners, but their bodies are not built for heavy fighting.
   The mother cheetah will spend more than a year teaching her babies how to survive.
   The cheetah has dog-like claws and paws, and can’t retract its claws like most cats can. In fact, “cheetah” means “dog-cat”.
   Video: The charging attack of a cheetah causes panic in a wildebeest herd. In the turmoil, the cat picks out a victim – usually the weakest or the slowest. After a few seconds, the chase is over. This time, the hunt is successful.
   Advice: Unless you look like an antelope, you’re not in danger from a cheetah. And this is a good thing, because you couldn’t beat a cheetah in a footrace in any event!

Next: Cheetahs are the fastest animals on land. They have plenty of room to run, because they live in a huge grassland called the African savannah.