The next five tours are the ones done in the style of actual nature tours.
Welcome. Gather round. Our paddlers are just about ready to take us on a birdwatching trip down the river, into the Amazon Rainforest, where, if we’re lucky, we’ll see a flock of brilliant parrots on the wing.
In this tropical rainforest, there’s a lot of heat and humidity. The plants grow up, down and sideways, and they’re so thick in some places that it’s hard to see the wildlife. You never know what might be lurking behind a giant philodendron leaf.
Oh, my! Look at this. This passion-vine caterpillar isn’t really dangerous to us. But you wouldn’t want to touch those nasty-looking spines! And it’s full of cyanide, too. It absorbs the poison from the passion vines it eats. Stand back! Give it plenty of room!
And look, there on the ground. Step back quickly! That’s a Brazilian wandering spider, one of the deadliest spiders in the world. There may be others about. Let’s get into the canoes now and out onto the river, where it’s safer.
Keep your hands in the boat, please! Maybe it’s not so safe out here. That’s not a log floating by! One of these crocodilians could snap your fingers right off! And you thought they only had alligators in Florida? Down here they’re called caimans, and they’ll eat anything they can grab.
But back to the birds. I think I see a scarlet macaw now. Let’s just paddle a little closer to that branch overhanging the river.
Oh, dear! I’ve got to get new glasses! Actually, this bird eats scarlet macaws. Yes, plucks them right out of the air. And keep the small children out of sight, folks! Harpy eagles also carry off monkeys, and I don’t know if they can tell the difference between a two-year-old and a howler monkey. They seem very similar, even to me!
Oh, dear. What are those yellow eyes over there? …It’s a jaguar! Stay calm, stay calm! It’s a big cat, but it’s not likely to attack. …I don’t think. …Well, yes, right, they do swim. But we’re safe, right out in the middle of the river. It can’t get us here. Anyway, jaguars don’t attack people. Well, not tourists on vacation anyway, I’m sure.
Let’s focus on river life. For example, if you lean over close to the water, you’ll notice a school of beautiful red-bellied fish. Notice the round shape and the mouth full of teeth. I say, what impressive teeth! Oh, no! Get your faces out of the water! Those are piranhas! They’re generally placid, but they could bite your noses right off if they chose to! …I knew they were piranhas, of course. I just thought that everyone should have a closer look.
On the right, note the beautifully coloured leaf floating by. It has a rather large, nice pattern, and appears to be attached to… a tail? Oh, yes it is! Oh, that’s an anaconda, a sort of gigantic type of boa. These snakes swim and lounge around on the banks. They could be anywhere. They eat fish and caimans and birds and… small children. Oh, just kidding about the small children, folks! But don’t let it climb into the canoe, just in case!
There’s another type of boa over there. And… well, really! It’s swallowing one of our birds! How are we supposed to birdwatch when snakes are gulping them down at every opportunity? Honestly!
My, this is an awfully snaky place! Up there, on the branch of that tree, that’s a baby emerald tree boa. Yes, I know! Emerald does mean green and yes, obviously the snake is red. But that’s because it’s young yet. As it gets older, its green spots will get bigger and bigger, until it’s not red anymore.
Now there, overhead, that’s an adult emerald tree boa – possibly the baby’s mother. That red one I just pointed out will look just like this when it’s grown. Really, it’s one of nature’s magic acts.
Speaking of magic acts, there’s one right here beneath the canoe. Oh, don’t dangle your fingers in the water! This is an electric eel. It’s a fish that can generate electricity. It can give you quite a jolt! No extension cords or plug-ins needed! No, it can just zap you from afar.
Snakes, piranhas, electric eels… this expedition is getting quite out of hand! Let’s pull over to the bank, and try to spot some nice birds or tropical butterflies.
At last, some of the beauties of nature! Gather round, and let’s admire this colourful flower here. …Oh, my God! It’s a frog! No, no, no! No touching! This is a poison arrow frog. It doesn’t bite, but it can ooze venom through its skin. Let’s just let it mind its own business, and we’ll mind ours.
And now look what’s marching our way! Army ants! They do have rather awe-inspiring pincers. But just stay out of their way and you’ll be quite all right. Some forest people even welcome the invasion of army ants. The people just clear out of their huts for a few days – taking their pets and groceries with them, of course – and let the ants march through. The army ants devour all the bugs they can find. And when there’s no food left, they move on. Then the people come back to a nice clean hut, no more fleas, cockroaches or bed bugs to worry about.
Now, what’s that snuffling about in the bushes over there? Probably headhunters or cannibals, the way this tour is going! …Oh, thank goodness! It’s only a tapir – a sort of furry, pig-shaped animal with a handy short trunk for a nose. Yes, one of the jaguar’s favourite foods. Well, now that I think of it, a jaguar may be close behind! I suggest that we scoot back to the hotel and birdwatch around the swimming pool. I’m sure we’ll see parrots there.
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