Dangerous Creatures: Silly Things People Do

   It’s time for a bit of self-indulgent nostalgia. :) The Microsoft PC program Dangerous Creatures was a huge part of my childhood, and probably the reason I’m so fascinated with animals today.
   So what I’ve decided to do is transcribe the narration sections and hopefully spread the knowledge. :) Some of the information may be outdated today, but again, it is nostalgic.
   But before we get to the animal fact pages, I think I’ll post some of the game’s guided tours first. The tours are basically just compilations of related screens from throughout the program, tied together by a guide narrator. Some of the tours, like Amazon Adventure and Coral Reef Dive, are narrated in the style of a real nature tour, as if you’re actually being shown around the area in question.
   Anyway, I think Silly Things People Do is a good tour to start off with. Enjoy. :)

   Did you know that when people get hurt by wild animals, it’s usually because those people have behaved in some very silly way? For example…

   “Oh, what a sweet little thing! I’ll just give it these marshmallows, Herman, while you take a picture.” Famous last words! While the tourists are sidling up to the bear cub, mummy bear is probably browsing around just on the other side of that big tree. All it takes is one little squeak from baby! 
   Yes! And mummy bear is much bigger than most people might think, not to mention a lot faster and meaner! After all, just what is that stranger doing with her cub? Keep your marshmallows in the car, and you’ll stand a better chance of keeping all your body parts in place!
   A camera is also an item that has landed many an amateur photographer in trouble with animals. The typical scenario might go something like this: “Just a little closer, Maureen, just a little closer. Five more steps and this shot will be perfect.” Of course, a buffalo might let you come five steps closer. But who knows? Perhaps two more steps might be the limit, before it decides to stamp you into a pancake! 
   Now, this may be called a monster, but that’s because of its looks, not because of its personality. You have to work really hard to get a Gila monster angry. They would much rather hide than fight. Most people who have been hurt by these creatures were doing things like betting they could put their fingers into the lizard’s mouth without being bitten, or carrying Gila monsters hidden inside their jackets. I don’t have to tell you that behaviour like this is really stupid, do I?
   Here’s another creature that has often been the victim of human jokes. Rattlesnakes have been shipped across the country in surprise packages, stuffed into mailboxes, and tossed from person to person at parties. Of course they bite! You’d bite too if someone was treating you like that! 
   Never underestimate how fast, or how far, a wild animal can move! If you’re out golfing and you see an alligator floating in the water hazard, don’t stop at the edge to get a closer view! That alligator’s teeth could be clamped onto your leg before you could shout, “Hey caddie, how about bringing that cart over here?” 
   Some people may have nightmares about vampire bats swooping down out of the darkness to bite them in the neck. But let’s be realistic. You would have to go to Central America, peel a vampire bat off a cave roof somewhere (gently, of course, because they’re tiny little things), and then press it to your neck. If you do all that, you deserve to get bitten!
   Constrictors like pythons or boas often appear in pet shops. Now, because these snakes are not venomous, some people think they don’t bite. Wrong! How do you think they grab onto a mouse or a bird to eat it? Move too quickly in front of them, and you may find out just how long and sharp their teeth are. Also, constrictors feel nice to the touch, but sometimes these snakes want to get cuddly too. If you give one a hug, it may hug you back, and it may not let you go! 
   Darling pups, huh? Sometimes you might see wild animal babies, like these fuzzy baby wolves, for sale. However, not only is it illegal in many places to keep a wild animal, but they really don’t make good pets either. Of course, they look lovely and are fun to play with when they’re young, but they do grow up! 
   Then… oh, no, bad puppies! When they’re big, they act like the wild animals they’re meant to be. An adult wolf, even one that you’ve raised from a pup, may attack livestock, other pets, or even people. The same goes for any predator, like an ocelot or a fox, for example. They’re not being mean: they’re just doing what nature tells them to do. And obedience training is probably not going to help. 
   A little salamander doesn’t look dangerous, so you might be tempted to pick one up. Don’t! Many of them have powerful venom that they can squeeze out of special glands when they’re frightened. If you get it on your hands and then wipe your mouth or your eye, you could end up in hospital. They don’t want to be grabbed anyway, so just leave them alone.
   Now, here’s a gentle creature that a lot of divers get into trouble with, even if they don’t get bitten by it. It’s soft and squishy, and it’s only a small animal, isn’t it? An octopus may not have much muscle power, but it has suction on its side! It can latch onto a rock with a few arms, and hold onto your foot with a couple more. And there you are, stuck onto an octopus that’s stuck to the ocean floor! The octopus can breathe underwater. Too bad you can’t!

   So, to sum up, the basic message is: you can have a lot of fun with wild animals, but you have got to respect them too. The fun is in watching them and taking pictures of them, not in teasing them – and it’s certainly no fun to fight with them!