Well, it’s the last day of 2012, so it’s time to look back on my personal experience with cinema throughout the year, picking out my favourite and least favourite movies.
Now, something I want to clarify before we start is what exactly qualifies as a release for this year. Well, my criterion is simple: the movie just has to have been released to the general public in 2012. So if a film premiered at film festivals and the like in an earlier year but wasn’t officially released until 2012, that still counts. Likewise, if a film has only seen the light of day at film festivals so far this year, it doesn’t count. Besides, I won’t have seen it anyway! Speaking of which, keep in mind that I didn’t see absolutely everything that came out this year, in some cases because I wasn’t able to. Part of the problem is that, due to my living conditions, I don’t have easy access to a cinema. It’s not much of a problem for movies released early in the year, because I can rent them when they come out on DVD. But for films released in, say, August onwards, if I miss them in the cinema, that’s it.
If you’ve been following my “first impressions” posts, you might even be able to predict what some of my choices are going to be. And if you have been reading those comments, then a lot of this list is probably going to be simple repetition for you. But regardless, now’s the time to lay them all down.
Something else I want to point out is that, at least out of the films I saw, I didn’t think any movie this year was either spectacularly good or spectacularly bad (except for one). It’s not like last year: none of this year’s movies met the soaring high standards set by Source Code and The Artist. And there were a lot of movies that I really disliked, but there was only one that offended me so much that it shook me to my core and left a scar, like Transformers 3 and Sucker Punch did. All the other bad movies I saw this year were just kind of forgettable.
So, without further ado, let’s start talking about them. :)
Before I get into my top ten least favourite movies of the year, let me just briefly call out a few possible contenders that I didn’t see. After all, this year boasted quite a few movies that I’m pretty sure would have been in the running had I seen them. For example, I didn’t see the remakes of Total Recall and Red Dawn, or Madagascar 3, That’s My Boy, The Apparition, House at the End of the Street, Paranormal Activity 4, The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure or, as you can probably guess, Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 2, just to name a few. If a movie gets bad reviews, I usually end up checking it out just to see if it’ll make my list, but One for the Money was the only movie this year that I avoided at all costs for very personal reasons: I can’t stand Katherine Heigl.
Also, there’s something about cinema in general this year that really got on my nerves. This seemed to be a year of abundant alternate titles! For example, The Avengers is called Marvel Avengers Assemble (or just Avengers Assemble) here in the British Isles, The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! is called The Pirates! Band of Misfits in the US and some other circles, The Samaritan (with Samuel L Jackson) is called Fury here, Get the Gringo (with Mel Gibson) became How I Spent My Summer Vacation, The Raid: Redemption became just The Raid… To quote the Angry Video Game Nerd, that really brings my piss to a boil! Alternate titles cause nothing but confusion! Just keep ’em the same!
Anyway, on to the actual list!
Number ten: Savages. I didn’t expect to put an Oliver Stone movie on the list, but I don’t think I’ve cared less about what’s going on in any other movie this year than I did during this one. A lot of the dialogue just went in one ear and out the other, so I didn’t really understand the characters’ motivations. And I just didn’t care about the characters themselves, so the whole movie was so flat that even the violence was underwhelming. And it’s all topped off by terrible jokes and an absolutely rage-inducing twist ending. Easily my most boring cinema-going experience of the year.
Number nine: The Cold Light of Day. In many ways, this is the hardest movie on this list to talk about, since there’s not really anything horrendously awful about it: it’s just unbelievably lifeless and uninteresting. It’s all pretty much just one chase scene after another, which gets tiresome really quickly because there isn’t a good story backing it up. The story, when it does stop to explain it, is impossible to follow or care about. The action itself looks really amateurish at times, too, especially the fight following the first chase. It’s all just dull and unremarkable. One of the least exciting action thrillers I’ve seen in quite a while.
Number eight: Cosmopolis. Another major disappointment from someone whom I know is a good director – in this case, David Cronenberg. Maybe it’s a faithful adaptation of the novel it’s based on, but to me, it just seems like one of those annoyingly style-fuelled art house films. Almost the entirety of the movie is philosophical dialogue. Now, I’m not inherently against dialogue-fuelled movies (hell, my favourite movie of all time is 12 Angry Men!), but this movie’s dialogue is not the least bit interesting. Maybe it’s supposed to be satirical, but it’s instantly forgettable. As a result, the movie as a whole just drags endlessly.
Number seven: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. At least this sequel has better special effects than its predecessor: instead of early PS2 graphics, now they look like PS3 graphics! :) There’s also a spectacularly awesome sequence where the Ghost Rider takes control of a crane. But the biggest problem with this movie, aside from it being drab, is that it has the overall feel of a direct-to-DVD movie, especially in how it’s shot and edited. I actually can’t believe this got a theatrical release! On the whole, it’s still better than the original, though. They’re both terrible movies, but I’d say the sequel is the lesser of two evils.
Number six: WE. This is worse than a horrendously bad film: it’s a frustratingly flawed one. The story focuses on King Edward VIII’s abdication for the woman he loved; it could have been a straightforward historical drama and served as a companion piece to The King’s Speech. But instead, it makes a bullshit attempt to parallel the story to a modern-day fictional character! Oh, go away! Also, why didn’t they just get an American actress to play Wallis Simpson? Andrea Riseborough’s accent is impossible to take seriously! Basically, this movie had a lot of potential, but failed spectacularly to live up to it.
Number five: Act of Valour. Instead of actors, this movie’s cast is real Navy SEALs. …Need I say more? Maybe the idea was to make this war movie seem more authentic, but the fact is that none of them can act. That might be forgivable if the movie itself were of good quality, but it’s not. The characters are all dull as well as poorly acted, and the set pieces feel almost like video game levels. But the major problem is how astonishingly boring the movie is – and I mean boring! It’s so boring that it’s downright depressing. Its only saving grace is that it is mercifully forgettable.
Number four: Battleship. I honestly can’t believe we actually have directors trying to imitate Michael Bay now! That has got to be a new cinematic low! Still, at least this movie actually has a plot and sticks to it, unlike the works of Michael Bay himself. I clearly remember the characters’ goal is to prevent the war with this alien race from ever happening. The first two thirds, just like Act of Valour, are insufferably boring. But the last act had me thinking this could have been simple dumb fun – if it weren’t trying to be a Michael Bay imitator! (Seriously, that’s just really sad!)
Number three: A Thousand Words. I don’t think this is quite as bad as the 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes would imply, but it’s still one of the most annoying comedies I’ve seen in quite a while. The premise would take too long to explain, but basically Eddie Murphy’s character can’t speak. So every single scene is just painful to watch because you know what he’s going to do, you know how it’s going to backfire on him. In fact, there’s one particular scene that very nearly made me shut the movie off! And I hate the movie all the more for trying to get emotional towards the end.
Number two: This Means War. Probably the most worthless movie of the year. It’s a romantic comedy that’s not the least bit funny (Reese Witherspoon’s best friend is especially annoying) and sure as shit isn’t romantic! Our two leads are just fighting over this woman like she’s a prize to be won. It’s objectification of women at its most disgraceful. It tries to be a spy action movie on the side, and that aspect sucks too. Basically, this movie is degrading and rotten to its core. I guess the only thing keeping it from the number one spot is that it’s directed by McG, so what did you expect?
But like I said before, only one movie this year truly left a scar.
Number one: The Devil Inside. Oh, God! No amount of bad reviews and low ratings could have prepared me for this! This one was pure, utter torture to sit through, with an aggravating first half, a downright boring second half, and the absolute worst abuse of the “found footage” gimmick I’ve ever seen. In fact, several times while watching the movie, I had to pause it and collect myself! If that’s not enough to call it the worst movie of the year, I don’t know what is! It’s not just the worst movie of the year: it’s the worst horror movie I’ve seen since The Fourth Kind!
Runners-up: Gone, Hard Boiled Sweets, Mirror Mirror, Piranha 3DD, The Raven and Think Like a Man.
And now let’s wash those ten awful tastes down by talking about the movies at the other end of the spectrum! :) These are my top ten favourite movies of 2012.
Again, keep in mind that there were a fair few movies I didn’t see. For example, I didn’t see Sinister, A Royal Affair, The Sapphires, Life of Pi, The Master, Rise of the Guardians, and again that’s just to name a few. But perhaps the movie that I’m kicking myself the most for missing is Dredd. Though most of the time my reason for missing them is that, like I said before, I just don’t have easy access to a cinema, there are a few that I haven’t seen simply because they haven’t been released yet here in the British Isles. For example, Lincoln, Flight, Hitchcock, Wreck-It Ralph, Les Misérables and Django Unchained came out in the US during the closing hurdles of the year, but it’ll be quite a while before I get to see them, since they don’t come out here until January and February.
So here’s the long and short of it: if there’s a movie that you think really should be on this list, chances are I either haven’t seen it or I just didn’t like it as much as you did.
So, without further ado, here we go.
First I want to throw in one particular runner-up, Iron Sky, as an honourable mention. These three words alone should tell you all you need to know about this movie: Nazis in space! :) The premise is that the Nazis have been hiding out on the moon since 1945, it’s now 2018, and they’re ready for round two. This is one of those movies that doesn’t take itself seriously and doesn’t expect you to either; you just sit back and have some fun with some high-flying ideas. And for that, it’s the epitome of awesome! Basically, it’s this year’s Attack the Block: a blast of entertainment with its heart in the right place and its tongue firmly in its cheek.
And now on to the actual list, starting with number ten, 21 Jump Street. I haven’t seen the TV show it’s based on. I don’t know if it’s played seriously or not, but this movie certainly isn’t. It’s a comedy, which is what I’d expect of a movie about two cops going undercover as high school students. Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum have fantastic chemistry that makes this the funniest movie of the year. It even succeeded in making me laugh out loud at a dick joke – that very rarely happens, if at all! I don’t remember many specific jokes, but I do remember the movie bringing me constant merriment throughout, and for that, it was a treat.
Number nine: ParaNorman. This was a really big year for both horror movies and stop-motion animation! This and Frankenweenie combined the two into affectionate horror spoofs, but I prefer this movie by far. It boasts a brilliant script that manages to combine humour, horror and emotional punch all in one and, more importantly, blend it all together seamlessly. The stop-motion animation itself is also remarkably seamless. It’s one of the best family films I’ve seen in quite a while. I probably would have enjoyed it a lot more, though, if it hadn’t been for some kids across the aisle who just would not shut up!
Number eight: The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (known in the US as The Pirates! Band of Misfits). Speaking of stop-motion, it’s such a joy to see Aardman Animation go back to that classic style that first brought them fame with Wallace & Gromit. And as a pirate movie, I liked this far more than any of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. It’s funny, genuinely heartbreaking when it wants to be, and the idea of pirates finding an alternate way of getting rich is justified brilliantly. The Pirate Captain himself is a wonderful character, and Queen Victoria is one of my favourite funny villains. I think this is far and away the best thing Aardman has done since A Close Shave.
Number seven: The Angels’ Share. This is a delightfully bittersweet comedy about a young punk in Glasgow trying to turn over a new leaf. It seems like a predictable story at first glance, but as it progresses, you really do grow to like the main character and want to see him come out okay. Nearly all the jokes hit their mark, even when the joke is on the protagonist. But the main thing the movie did for me was the last half-hour. I’m not going to say exactly what happens, but I will say it’s just fantastic in how morally ambiguous it is. Definitely check it out.
Number six: The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It’s about an outcast junior in high school who’s taken under the wing of two seniors. Like The Angels’ Share, it’s a familiar story done wonderfully. I was really surprised at how much I enjoyed this one. In many ways, this is the polar opposite of Project X, since I actually wanted to be part of this school environment. The characters are all likable, so I started to genuinely root for them and wanted to see everything work out for them. In short, it’s perhaps overly sentimental, but completely irresistible. Plus, it’s pretty cool whenever the author of the original book directs the film adaptation! :)
Number five: The Raid (known in the US as The Raid: Redemption). In an age overflowing with big-budget CG-fests, it’s so refreshing to see an old-school martial arts action flick on the market. Sometimes, just seeing men pitting their strength, speed and wits against each other is so much more exciting than an exaggerated “epic” spectacle. I couldn’t even watch this movie without making some kind of verbal reaction to each blow like, “Ooh!” “Aw-haww!” The premise is that a SWAT team’s target has ordered all the tenants of the apartment complex to attack them, so it makes sense that the action is almost nonstop: these guys just can’t catch a break!
Number four: Argo. It’s an unbelievable true story, and director Ben Affleck brings it to the screen magnificently. I haven’t yet seen Gone Baby Gone, but I think I can quite safely say this is Ben Affleck’s best directing job to date. The atmosphere of fear in the midst of the fierce Iranian uprising is captured flawlessly; the tension in every scene is palpable. The climax might seem a bit too cinematic, if you know what I mean, but the edge-of-your-seat suspense still never lets up. Ultimately, it stands as a testament to the power of courage and teamwork – and one exciting ride.
Number three: Avengers Assemble (known in the US as simply The Avengers). What else can I say, really? It’s The Avengers! :) It truly is a miracle of a superhero movie – basically a film version of an event comic. It delivers in spades all the edge-of-your-seat action and character development you’d expect, but it also has the bonus of Joss Whedon’s magical touch. His writing leads to some laugh-out-loud hilarious character-driven comedy. It can be enjoyed in its own right, but seeing the four Marvel movies leading up to it adds so much more. This was at number two for most of the year, but ultimately got bumped down to number three by another Joss Whedon-penned project…
Number two: The Cabin in the Woods. Talk about underestimating a movie! I’d heard good things about it, but hadn’t expected it to completely blow me away! This is one of the best horror movies I’ve seen in a long, long time – not one of the scariest, but certainly one of the most unique. It looks like an Evil Dead remake at first glance, but it features a twist that turns the whole horror genre inside-out! It’s truly remarkable how the plot finds a way to satirise horror movie conventions without shoving it in your face. I think this movie is a truly inspired and stupendous work of genius!
And number one: The Dark Knight Rises. I know some people found this movie to be a letdown, but I’m not one of them. I do agree that it’s flawed, particularly one aspect of the twist at the end. But on the whole, I was more than satisfied with it, especially with the fantastic villain in Bane and the plot involving his bringing both Batman and Gotham City to their knees. I remember when I left the cinema, I was so elated that I didn’t care if a car hit me right then and there, because at least I’d die a happy man! :) It’s my favourite movie of the year.
Runners-up: The Amazing Spider-Man, Chronicle, The Hunger Games, Iron Sky (which I already mentioned), Looper and Skyfall. Ted just fell short.
And those are my lists. Whether or not you agree with my picks, I hope you enjoyed reading them. Now let’s wait and see what 2013 has to offer.
So have a great New Year, and I’ll see you on the other side. :)
Monday 31 December 2012
Saturday 29 December 2012
First Impressions: "Jurassic Park: The Game" (VG)
I was up all night last night playing Telltale's Jurassic Park: The Game.
Now, Jurassic Park is one of my favourite movies of all time, so this is probably the Telltale movie-licensed game that I was looking forward to the most. Plus, from the trailers, it looked scary as fuck!
The story takes place parallel to the first movie, and I was afraid it might ruin the film for me. But some of the ways they develop the story are actually pretty clever. For example, we get some insight into what the island was like before John Hammond bought it. Other parts are expansions to the world of the park that just had me scratching my head – but as the game progressed, I began to just go with the flow and enjoy it for what it was.
But what really kills the game is the control. The whole game is based on quick time events, and they're the most annoying kind that I've seen. The icon indicating which button to press appears on the screen at pure random, and you're only given a fraction of a second to press the right button. (It's partly for that same reason that I'm one of those people who didn't like Heavy Rain.) So if you're anything like me, on each stage of each dinosaur encounter, you're guaranteed to die a few times trying to memorise the right pattern of buttons – which, half the time, isn't made clear anyway!
Overall, this game's okay. It does suffer from controls that can be frustrating if you're not used to them, but it does feature some awesome story moments to look forward to. (And the key word there is "some"!) It's certainly not a patch on Telltale's Back to the Future or The Walking Dead games, though.
My rating: 65%.
Now, Jurassic Park is one of my favourite movies of all time, so this is probably the Telltale movie-licensed game that I was looking forward to the most. Plus, from the trailers, it looked scary as fuck!
The story takes place parallel to the first movie, and I was afraid it might ruin the film for me. But some of the ways they develop the story are actually pretty clever. For example, we get some insight into what the island was like before John Hammond bought it. Other parts are expansions to the world of the park that just had me scratching my head – but as the game progressed, I began to just go with the flow and enjoy it for what it was.
But what really kills the game is the control. The whole game is based on quick time events, and they're the most annoying kind that I've seen. The icon indicating which button to press appears on the screen at pure random, and you're only given a fraction of a second to press the right button. (It's partly for that same reason that I'm one of those people who didn't like Heavy Rain.) So if you're anything like me, on each stage of each dinosaur encounter, you're guaranteed to die a few times trying to memorise the right pattern of buttons – which, half the time, isn't made clear anyway!
Overall, this game's okay. It does suffer from controls that can be frustrating if you're not used to them, but it does feature some awesome story moments to look forward to. (And the key word there is "some"!) It's certainly not a patch on Telltale's Back to the Future or The Walking Dead games, though.
My rating: 65%.
Sunday 9 December 2012
First Impressions: "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" (Stieg Larsson)
Well, I finished reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo earlier today. And my conclusion is: it was brilliant.
Like I've said before, the first few chapters really take their time to build up the characters.
The middle section is good but not entirely captivating; I was far more interested in Salander's story than Blomkvist's.
But the second half of the book… just, wow! I couldn't put it down!
Without actually giving away the outcome of the mystery, I will say that several revelations made me go, "Jesus, man!"
The only major problem with the book is that a lot of it deals with bureaucratic mumbo jumbo that's all double Dutch to me. I could still get the basic gist of it, though.
So I thoroughly enjoyed this book, but I think I'll take a bit of a break before reading the second and third. I think it's about time I reread the Artemis Fowl series.
My rating: 90%.
Like I've said before, the first few chapters really take their time to build up the characters.
The middle section is good but not entirely captivating; I was far more interested in Salander's story than Blomkvist's.
But the second half of the book… just, wow! I couldn't put it down!
Without actually giving away the outcome of the mystery, I will say that several revelations made me go, "Jesus, man!"
The only major problem with the book is that a lot of it deals with bureaucratic mumbo jumbo that's all double Dutch to me. I could still get the basic gist of it, though.
So I thoroughly enjoyed this book, but I think I'll take a bit of a break before reading the second and third. I think it's about time I reread the Artemis Fowl series.
My rating: 90%.
Friday 7 December 2012
First Impressions: "Think Like a Man" + "Cosmopolis" (2012)
This week's pair of rentals are Think Like a Man and Cosmopolis.
But before I talk about them, I also want to point out that my copy of the Dark Knight trilogy box set arrived today! :D And in terms of how the discs are secured in place, it has to be the strangest DVD case I've ever seen! It's kind of hard to describe; you really just have to see it. It's not one of those buttons that holds the disc by the middle – you know the way. Instead, there are these two spring things that hold the disc at the bottom, so you have to push the disc downwards (horizontally) to release it. Have you ever seen a box set like that? Other than this and the Back to the Future Blu-ray set that James Rolfe mentioned in You Know What's Bullshit, I haven't!
To sum up that sort of DVD case, I think OMD said it best: how bizarre! :D But it's simple when you know how. :)
Anyway…
Rental 1: Think Like a Man.
It's based on Steve Harvey's book Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man, which basically instructs women on how to be a keeper in a relationship. I'm pretty sure the book's incredibly sexist!
Still, making a movie based around that book is actually not a bad idea. But what they do with it… is about as predictable as it gets. I'm usually not the kind of guy who complains about clichés, but this movie didn't surprise me at all. And it didn't even make up for that by giving me endearing characters. They're all just dull archetypes: some are full of themselves, one's pussywhipped, they all change their ways over the course of the movie and blah blah blah. We've seen it before. It's been done well before, but it's not done well here.
It's an astonishingly long movie, too, with no regard for pacing.
On the whole, it could have been worse, but I still wouldn't recommend it.
My rating: 40%.
Rental 2: Cosmopolis.
It's directed by David Cronenberg, so, going in, I thought it was safe to assume that it was in safe hands. But alas, the movie turned out to be one of the most insufferably boring experiences I've had all year.
It's more like an art house film than anything else. The cinematography is totally bizarre, with all kinds of weird, uncomfortable angles. And all the dialogue is just overly philosophical mumbo jumbo.
Maybe it's all supposed to be a satire of modern society, but it's not a very accessible one! It's all just random encounters and uninteresting dialogue.
I don't get it. I'm sorry. Maybe I'm not smart enough, or well enough informed, to get it. Maybe I don't know what all the rats symbolise. Maybe the themes of the future and capitalism are lost on me. But I don't care that I don't get it!
So, technically speaking, Think Like a Man was probably the worse of the two movies. But personally speaking, man was Cosmopolis a tough sit!
My rating: 35%.
But before I talk about them, I also want to point out that my copy of the Dark Knight trilogy box set arrived today! :D And in terms of how the discs are secured in place, it has to be the strangest DVD case I've ever seen! It's kind of hard to describe; you really just have to see it. It's not one of those buttons that holds the disc by the middle – you know the way. Instead, there are these two spring things that hold the disc at the bottom, so you have to push the disc downwards (horizontally) to release it. Have you ever seen a box set like that? Other than this and the Back to the Future Blu-ray set that James Rolfe mentioned in You Know What's Bullshit, I haven't!
To sum up that sort of DVD case, I think OMD said it best: how bizarre! :D But it's simple when you know how. :)
Anyway…
Rental 1: Think Like a Man.
It's based on Steve Harvey's book Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man, which basically instructs women on how to be a keeper in a relationship. I'm pretty sure the book's incredibly sexist!
Still, making a movie based around that book is actually not a bad idea. But what they do with it… is about as predictable as it gets. I'm usually not the kind of guy who complains about clichés, but this movie didn't surprise me at all. And it didn't even make up for that by giving me endearing characters. They're all just dull archetypes: some are full of themselves, one's pussywhipped, they all change their ways over the course of the movie and blah blah blah. We've seen it before. It's been done well before, but it's not done well here.
It's an astonishingly long movie, too, with no regard for pacing.
On the whole, it could have been worse, but I still wouldn't recommend it.
My rating: 40%.
Rental 2: Cosmopolis.
It's directed by David Cronenberg, so, going in, I thought it was safe to assume that it was in safe hands. But alas, the movie turned out to be one of the most insufferably boring experiences I've had all year.
It's more like an art house film than anything else. The cinematography is totally bizarre, with all kinds of weird, uncomfortable angles. And all the dialogue is just overly philosophical mumbo jumbo.
Maybe it's all supposed to be a satire of modern society, but it's not a very accessible one! It's all just random encounters and uninteresting dialogue.
I don't get it. I'm sorry. Maybe I'm not smart enough, or well enough informed, to get it. Maybe I don't know what all the rats symbolise. Maybe the themes of the future and capitalism are lost on me. But I don't care that I don't get it!
So, technically speaking, Think Like a Man was probably the worse of the two movies. But personally speaking, man was Cosmopolis a tough sit!
My rating: 35%.
Thursday 29 November 2012
First Impressions: "Mirror Mirror" + "The Angels' Share" (2012)
This week's pair of rentals are Mirror Mirror and The Angels' Share.
Rental 1: Mirror Mirror.
My first thought when this movie ended was, "Wow! That sucked!"
I don't know whether or not it would have annoyed me as much if I'd known going in that it was supposed to be a comedy, but only a small handful of jokes work anyway.
I don't know if Julia Roberts had any creative control, but the whole part of the Queen certainly seemed like a big ego trip.
Of course the dwarfs were the best part, but even they were okay at best. Still, to the movie's credit, at least it did get real dwarfs (sorry if that's not PC) to play them.
I also have to say, the CGI is just awful! I mean, Snow White and the Huntsman had some pretty obvious CG as well, but this was almost Asylum-level bad!
In conclusion, I don't know who I'd recommend this movie to, but certainly not people who want to see the fairytale done well!
My rating: 35%.
Rental 2: The Angels' Share.
I don't know how much I can say about this one without getting into spoilers. It's probably best if you go into it knowing as little as possible, like I did.
It's about a young punk in Glasgow trying to turn over a new leaf for his newborn son's sake. It seems like a predictable story at first glance, but it's not. For example, you're led to believe his community service supervisor will become a clichéd father figure, but the story doesn't go in that direction at all.
But the main thing this movie did for me was the last half-hour. Again, I won't spoil anything, but I will say it's just fantastic in how morally ambiguous it is.
I guess I'll conclude by saying that, quite simply, I highly recommend it. It's a wonderfully bittersweet comedy drama.
My rating: 85%.
Rental 1: Mirror Mirror.
My first thought when this movie ended was, "Wow! That sucked!"
I don't know whether or not it would have annoyed me as much if I'd known going in that it was supposed to be a comedy, but only a small handful of jokes work anyway.
I don't know if Julia Roberts had any creative control, but the whole part of the Queen certainly seemed like a big ego trip.
Of course the dwarfs were the best part, but even they were okay at best. Still, to the movie's credit, at least it did get real dwarfs (sorry if that's not PC) to play them.
I also have to say, the CGI is just awful! I mean, Snow White and the Huntsman had some pretty obvious CG as well, but this was almost Asylum-level bad!
In conclusion, I don't know who I'd recommend this movie to, but certainly not people who want to see the fairytale done well!
My rating: 35%.
Rental 2: The Angels' Share.
I don't know how much I can say about this one without getting into spoilers. It's probably best if you go into it knowing as little as possible, like I did.
It's about a young punk in Glasgow trying to turn over a new leaf for his newborn son's sake. It seems like a predictable story at first glance, but it's not. For example, you're led to believe his community service supervisor will become a clichéd father figure, but the story doesn't go in that direction at all.
But the main thing this movie did for me was the last half-hour. Again, I won't spoil anything, but I will say it's just fantastic in how morally ambiguous it is.
I guess I'll conclude by saying that, quite simply, I highly recommend it. It's a wonderfully bittersweet comedy drama.
My rating: 85%.
Monday 26 November 2012
First Impressions: "Gambit" (1966) + "Red Dawn" (1984)
I spent today watching two movies whose remakes are coming out late this year.
First, Gambit, a 1966 heist film starring Michael Caine and Shirley MacLaine.
Now, I'm a sucker for heist movies, and this one featured a pretty ingenious plan.
I loved the first half-hour, loved the last half-hour… but with the middle section, it took me a while to get back on track with the movie, because it lost me after throwing a curveball. I don't know if I should spoil this for those of you who haven't seen it, but… In the first half-hour, you watch the robbery take place. Then it cuts back to the beginning again, and Michael Caine says, "So that's the plan." Yeah, everything you saw up to that point didn't actually happen! That really catches you off guard, but the idea was to make you feel his character's concern and frustration when, from the start, things don't go as expected.
On the whole, I'd say this is definitely one to check out.
My rating: 70%.
And secondly, Red Dawn (1984).
This movie really is a product of its time, summing up America's fears in the grip of the Cold War. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's outdated; it still makes for a good war scenario.
But I have to admit I'm not a fan of war movies. I know they're supposed to represent war for real rather than a conventional narrative, but that doesn't change the fact that I generally find them unfocused and somewhat boring. This movie is no different.
But for what it's worth, it is packed with good ideas, like being forced to hunt in the wilderness to survive. And the fact that the main characters are children adds so much more flavour. It's also kind of a precursor to Inglourious Basterds, in that it's about a group of renegade guerrillas spreading fear among the enemy ranks.
So I guess I recommend it. But from what I've heard, I agree with everyone else: just ignore the remake with Chris Hemsworth.
My rating: 65%.
First, Gambit, a 1966 heist film starring Michael Caine and Shirley MacLaine.
Now, I'm a sucker for heist movies, and this one featured a pretty ingenious plan.
I loved the first half-hour, loved the last half-hour… but with the middle section, it took me a while to get back on track with the movie, because it lost me after throwing a curveball. I don't know if I should spoil this for those of you who haven't seen it, but… In the first half-hour, you watch the robbery take place. Then it cuts back to the beginning again, and Michael Caine says, "So that's the plan." Yeah, everything you saw up to that point didn't actually happen! That really catches you off guard, but the idea was to make you feel his character's concern and frustration when, from the start, things don't go as expected.
On the whole, I'd say this is definitely one to check out.
My rating: 70%.
And secondly, Red Dawn (1984).
This movie really is a product of its time, summing up America's fears in the grip of the Cold War. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's outdated; it still makes for a good war scenario.
But I have to admit I'm not a fan of war movies. I know they're supposed to represent war for real rather than a conventional narrative, but that doesn't change the fact that I generally find them unfocused and somewhat boring. This movie is no different.
But for what it's worth, it is packed with good ideas, like being forced to hunt in the wilderness to survive. And the fact that the main characters are children adds so much more flavour. It's also kind of a precursor to Inglourious Basterds, in that it's about a group of renegade guerrillas spreading fear among the enemy ranks.
So I guess I recommend it. But from what I've heard, I agree with everyone else: just ignore the remake with Chris Hemsworth.
My rating: 65%.
Thursday 22 November 2012
First Impressions: "Argo" (2012)
I just got home from a trip to Dublin. The main reason I went up there was to see Keane (my absolute favourite band) live at the Olympia Theatre.
And let me tell you, that show was just unbelievable! Keane (like several other bands, I've been told) have been doing a lot of smaller, more intimate gigs lately, so I was expecting this one to be an unplugged show, like the one at St Martin's College on April 27th. But no, actually it was a full-on concert. Full drum set, full set of keyboards – everything. Just on a small scale, for a small venue.
Maybe it's just because of the acoustics in the theatre itself, but Richard's drumming nearly drowned Tom's singing out. But the audience had it covered! :D
They actually played quite a few songs that I didn't think they would, like Bend and Break, We Might as Well Be Strangers, Hamburg Song, and even She Has No Time.
When they left the stage after playing Bedshaped, I was a little concerned that they might have ended the show without telling us. After all, they usually play Bedshaped last of all. But I knew they wouldn't leave without playing Sea Fog or Sovereign Light Café! Actually, they ended the show with Crystal Ball. Kind of ironic in a way, since that was the first Keane song I ever heard. :) You could say it was the song that got me into them.
Overall, it wasn't quite as energised as when they last played at the O2 (yes, I went to that show as well), but still the energy and enthusiasm from the crowd was just priceless. It was still an absolutely wonderful time, and the best birthday present I could have possibly asked for. :)
But now, let's get to the subject of this message's title! :)
I had no choice but to arrive in Dublin early. So one of the things I did in the time before the concert was to go and see Argo.
If you've seen the trailer, you'll know it's based on a true story that, until recently, was classified. It's an unbelievable rescue mission story, and director Ben Affleck brings it to the screen magnificently.
I haven't yet seen Gone Baby Gone, but I think I can quite safely say this is Ben Affleck's best directing job to date. The atmosphere of fear in the midst of the fierce Iranian uprising is captured flawlessly; the tension in every scene is palpable.
The climax does come across as perhaps a tad too cinematic, if you know what I mean, but the edge-of-your-seat suspense still never lets up.
All I can say is, if you haven't seen it, do so. It's easily one of the best movies of the year.
My rating: 85%.
And let me tell you, that show was just unbelievable! Keane (like several other bands, I've been told) have been doing a lot of smaller, more intimate gigs lately, so I was expecting this one to be an unplugged show, like the one at St Martin's College on April 27th. But no, actually it was a full-on concert. Full drum set, full set of keyboards – everything. Just on a small scale, for a small venue.
Maybe it's just because of the acoustics in the theatre itself, but Richard's drumming nearly drowned Tom's singing out. But the audience had it covered! :D
They actually played quite a few songs that I didn't think they would, like Bend and Break, We Might as Well Be Strangers, Hamburg Song, and even She Has No Time.
When they left the stage after playing Bedshaped, I was a little concerned that they might have ended the show without telling us. After all, they usually play Bedshaped last of all. But I knew they wouldn't leave without playing Sea Fog or Sovereign Light Café! Actually, they ended the show with Crystal Ball. Kind of ironic in a way, since that was the first Keane song I ever heard. :) You could say it was the song that got me into them.
Overall, it wasn't quite as energised as when they last played at the O2 (yes, I went to that show as well), but still the energy and enthusiasm from the crowd was just priceless. It was still an absolutely wonderful time, and the best birthday present I could have possibly asked for. :)
But now, let's get to the subject of this message's title! :)
I had no choice but to arrive in Dublin early. So one of the things I did in the time before the concert was to go and see Argo.
If you've seen the trailer, you'll know it's based on a true story that, until recently, was classified. It's an unbelievable rescue mission story, and director Ben Affleck brings it to the screen magnificently.
I haven't yet seen Gone Baby Gone, but I think I can quite safely say this is Ben Affleck's best directing job to date. The atmosphere of fear in the midst of the fierce Iranian uprising is captured flawlessly; the tension in every scene is palpable.
The climax does come across as perhaps a tad too cinematic, if you know what I mean, but the edge-of-your-seat suspense still never lets up.
All I can say is, if you haven't seen it, do so. It's easily one of the best movies of the year.
My rating: 85%.
Monday 19 November 2012
First Impressions: "Skyfall" (2012)
Okay, I just got home from seeing Skyfall. It was pretty much what I expected: it succeeds in combining classic over-the-top Bond elements that we all know and love with the Daniel Craig movies' more serious approach.
It's a good story that leads to some wonderful character interactions as well as a fantastic climax. And I especially like how it incorporates the fancy gadgets without going overboard with them to the point where it's just ridiculous, unlike some of the past Bond movies.
Its only downfall, in my opinion, is the villain. Javier Bardem gives a terrific performance, as expected, but a lot of his dialogue is pretty lacklustre.
Also, the opening action sequence is quite clumsily shot and edited, but all the rest are much easier to follow.
In conclusion, I'd say this is one Bond movie that anyone can enjoy. Easily one of the best of the franchise.
My rating: 80%.
It's a good story that leads to some wonderful character interactions as well as a fantastic climax. And I especially like how it incorporates the fancy gadgets without going overboard with them to the point where it's just ridiculous, unlike some of the past Bond movies.
Its only downfall, in my opinion, is the villain. Javier Bardem gives a terrific performance, as expected, but a lot of his dialogue is pretty lacklustre.
Also, the opening action sequence is quite clumsily shot and edited, but all the rest are much easier to follow.
In conclusion, I'd say this is one Bond movie that anyone can enjoy. Easily one of the best of the franchise.
My rating: 80%.
Wednesday 14 November 2012
First Impressions: "Red Lights" + "The Woman in Black" (2012)
Before I talk about this week's pair of rentals, let me explain something. On my recent trip to England, I started reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo on the plane. I've been pretty distracted lately, but now I want to allow myself as much time as possible to finish it. So you probably won't see any movie comments from me for a while besides the usual weekly rentals and the odd trip to the cinema.
For the record, I'm really enjoying The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo so far. The first few chapters are pretty talky, flashing back to events from the characters' past and the like. But that's fine with me, because I'm really growing to like these characters.
Anyway…
Rental 1: Red Lights.
This movie has quite a promising premise. It focuses on a pair of scientists, played by Cillian Murphy and Sigourney Weaver, who specialise in revealing the trickery behind staged paranormal activity, and now Murphy is determined to investigate Simon Silver (played by Robert De Niro), a retired stage psychic who's making a comeback. It leads you to believe that maybe – just maybe – Silver does indeed have connections to the supernatural.
But once Murphy's investigation into Silver gets under way, the movie goes downhill, dissolving into a clichéd jump scare fest.
And then the whole thing is ruined by a distractingly silly twist ending! The plot twist at the end makes no sense, and in fact contradicts most of what's been seen up to that point!
Ultimately, it's just a very disappointing movie.
My rating: 45%.
Rental 2: The Woman in Black. Yeah, I finally got to see it! :)
It's an old-school ghost story through-and-through, relying more on chills than most modern horror flicks. I daresay it may even have given me a whole new respect for ghost stories.
I don't think it's really chilling enough, though. The atmosphere of isolation and nervous tension when Arthur first arrives at the house is spot-on, and the movie does boast one of the best jump scares I've ever seen. But the middle section seems to care about nothing but throwing "creepy" moments at you almost continuously. And they have no rhyme or reason, so the whole section gets boring pretty quickly. A lot of the scares were pretty predictable, too.
But the climax makes up for all that, and I especially like the bittersweet ending.
Overall, it was okay. I haven't read the book, but I'm sure it's a lot better.
My rating: 65%.
For the record, I'm really enjoying The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo so far. The first few chapters are pretty talky, flashing back to events from the characters' past and the like. But that's fine with me, because I'm really growing to like these characters.
Anyway…
Rental 1: Red Lights.
This movie has quite a promising premise. It focuses on a pair of scientists, played by Cillian Murphy and Sigourney Weaver, who specialise in revealing the trickery behind staged paranormal activity, and now Murphy is determined to investigate Simon Silver (played by Robert De Niro), a retired stage psychic who's making a comeback. It leads you to believe that maybe – just maybe – Silver does indeed have connections to the supernatural.
But once Murphy's investigation into Silver gets under way, the movie goes downhill, dissolving into a clichéd jump scare fest.
And then the whole thing is ruined by a distractingly silly twist ending! The plot twist at the end makes no sense, and in fact contradicts most of what's been seen up to that point!
Ultimately, it's just a very disappointing movie.
My rating: 45%.
Rental 2: The Woman in Black. Yeah, I finally got to see it! :)
It's an old-school ghost story through-and-through, relying more on chills than most modern horror flicks. I daresay it may even have given me a whole new respect for ghost stories.
I don't think it's really chilling enough, though. The atmosphere of isolation and nervous tension when Arthur first arrives at the house is spot-on, and the movie does boast one of the best jump scares I've ever seen. But the middle section seems to care about nothing but throwing "creepy" moments at you almost continuously. And they have no rhyme or reason, so the whole section gets boring pretty quickly. A lot of the scares were pretty predictable, too.
But the climax makes up for all that, and I especially like the bittersweet ending.
Overall, it was okay. I haven't read the book, but I'm sure it's a lot better.
My rating: 65%.
Wednesday 7 November 2012
First Impressions: "Chernobyl Diaries" + "Moonrise Kingdom" (2012)
Time for this week's pair of rentals. :)
Rental 1: Chernobyl Diaries.
Well, first of all, I was under the impression that this was a found footage movie. It's not. So the documentary style of the camera work is just bizarre.
All the other atmospherics are convincing, though, especially the lighting; it does almost feel like you're there.
But, just like with many other horror movies, the characters are what kills it. Good God are they boring! As such, a lot of the movie keeps you on edge, but it's not out of fear for the characters' lives: it's just out of anticipation for the next jump scare. And I hate to break it to you, but jump scares in and of themselves are not scary! After a while, they get old. In fact, by the halfway point of this movie, they weren't even making me jump anymore.
Overall, my one-word summary of this movie would be "meh".
My rating: 45%.
Rental 2: Moonrise Kingdom. Maybe it's because I'm not familiar with Wes Anderson's other work, but this is one of the strangest movies I've seen in quite a while!
I think it was meant to be a family film, but I'm not entirely sure. It certainly has the feel of a kids' movie, like the production design in Suzy's house at the beginning: it looks just like a doll's house.
It's a coming-of-age drama, for sure.
It's about two kids who fall in love and run away into the wilderness. And the ensuing hunt for them involving the authorities, the Khaki Scouts and, towards the end, the social services pretty much delivers all the kids' movie tropes you'd expect.
It definitely has a lot of heart, but it's as much perplexing as it is charming. It was good, I guess, but it was mostly just kind of odd.
My rating: 60%.
Rental 1: Chernobyl Diaries.
Well, first of all, I was under the impression that this was a found footage movie. It's not. So the documentary style of the camera work is just bizarre.
All the other atmospherics are convincing, though, especially the lighting; it does almost feel like you're there.
But, just like with many other horror movies, the characters are what kills it. Good God are they boring! As such, a lot of the movie keeps you on edge, but it's not out of fear for the characters' lives: it's just out of anticipation for the next jump scare. And I hate to break it to you, but jump scares in and of themselves are not scary! After a while, they get old. In fact, by the halfway point of this movie, they weren't even making me jump anymore.
Overall, my one-word summary of this movie would be "meh".
My rating: 45%.
Rental 2: Moonrise Kingdom. Maybe it's because I'm not familiar with Wes Anderson's other work, but this is one of the strangest movies I've seen in quite a while!
I think it was meant to be a family film, but I'm not entirely sure. It certainly has the feel of a kids' movie, like the production design in Suzy's house at the beginning: it looks just like a doll's house.
It's a coming-of-age drama, for sure.
It's about two kids who fall in love and run away into the wilderness. And the ensuing hunt for them involving the authorities, the Khaki Scouts and, towards the end, the social services pretty much delivers all the kids' movie tropes you'd expect.
It definitely has a lot of heart, but it's as much perplexing as it is charming. It was good, I guess, but it was mostly just kind of odd.
My rating: 60%.
Wednesday 31 October 2012
First Impressions: "The Devil Inside" + "Wrath of the Titans" (2012)
Happy Halloween, everyone! :D
I was meaning to rent two horror movies to mark the occasion: The Devil Inside and The Woman in Black. But The Woman in Black wasn't available to rent, even though Xtra-vision did have it to buy. It just makes no sense! So I had to make do with The Devil Inside and Wrath of the Titans.
So, The Devil Inside. I actually only watched this because of how awful I'd heard it was. It scores 7% on Rotten Tomatoes and 4.0 on IMDb. I didn't even give it a second thought at first; I just figured it was some lame horror movie that I was probably never going to see. But to hear that it was that bad? I just had to see for myself!
So yeah, I knew going in that it was probably going to be bad. But what I saw… Oh, God!!!
The first half is aggravating, with atrocious acting and the worst abuse of the "found footage" gimmick I've ever seen. It's a perfect example of, "Dude, just put the camera away!"
The second half, though, is just dull and uninteresting – probably the only time that's actually preferable!
Simply put, this is the worst fucking horror movie I've seen since The Fourth Kind, not to mention the absolute worst movie I've seen so far this year!
I give it my only turkey rating of the year so far!
And as for Wrath of the Titans… Now, I'm really scraping the bottom of the shit barrel with this one! It's an unnecessary sequel to an unnecessary remake! The amount of… unnecessary-ness here is just overwhelming!
But, just like its predecessor, the stuff that's good is good, but the stuff that's bad (which is the majority) is just dull and unremarkable.
I think the characters of Agenor and Hephaestus really sum it up best. When they're first introduced, they're both played very comedically and I don't like them at all. But when they do serve a purpose in the plot, they're wonderful.
Some of the elements of Greek mythology they throw in really work, but some, like the Minotaur, are just really unnecessary.
In conclusion, while it's not as dull as its predecessor, on the whole it's really no better.
My rating: 40%.
I was meaning to rent two horror movies to mark the occasion: The Devil Inside and The Woman in Black. But The Woman in Black wasn't available to rent, even though Xtra-vision did have it to buy. It just makes no sense! So I had to make do with The Devil Inside and Wrath of the Titans.
So, The Devil Inside. I actually only watched this because of how awful I'd heard it was. It scores 7% on Rotten Tomatoes and 4.0 on IMDb. I didn't even give it a second thought at first; I just figured it was some lame horror movie that I was probably never going to see. But to hear that it was that bad? I just had to see for myself!
So yeah, I knew going in that it was probably going to be bad. But what I saw… Oh, God!!!
The first half is aggravating, with atrocious acting and the worst abuse of the "found footage" gimmick I've ever seen. It's a perfect example of, "Dude, just put the camera away!"
The second half, though, is just dull and uninteresting – probably the only time that's actually preferable!
Simply put, this is the worst fucking horror movie I've seen since The Fourth Kind, not to mention the absolute worst movie I've seen so far this year!
I give it my only turkey rating of the year so far!
And as for Wrath of the Titans… Now, I'm really scraping the bottom of the shit barrel with this one! It's an unnecessary sequel to an unnecessary remake! The amount of… unnecessary-ness here is just overwhelming!
But, just like its predecessor, the stuff that's good is good, but the stuff that's bad (which is the majority) is just dull and unremarkable.
I think the characters of Agenor and Hephaestus really sum it up best. When they're first introduced, they're both played very comedically and I don't like them at all. But when they do serve a purpose in the plot, they're wonderful.
Some of the elements of Greek mythology they throw in really work, but some, like the Minotaur, are just really unnecessary.
In conclusion, while it's not as dull as its predecessor, on the whole it's really no better.
My rating: 40%.
Wednesday 24 October 2012
First Impressions: "A Thousand Words" + "The Raid" (2012)
Time for this week's pair of rentals. :)
First, A Thousand Words, the new comedy with Eddie Murphy. It boasts a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, so I had to check it out! I was thinking, "It can't be that bad, right?" But indeed it was! Oh, God do I hate this movie! This is right up there with This Means War as one of the worst movies of the year so far!
I didn't mind the first half-hour too much, but I certainly wasn't laughing at it. But once Eddie Murphy's character is forced to stop talking, everything goes downhill fast! Every scene that follows, where they constantly hammer that joke into the ground, is just excruciating to watch.
In fact, there's a scene just before the hour mark where, if I'd had any other mentality, that would have been the last straw: I seriously would have stopped the movie right there!
It's a movie that annoys the shit out of me, and I hate it all the more for trying to be emotional.
My rating: 15%.
And second, The Raid (AKA The Raid: Redemption). Now you're talking! In an age overflowing with brainless CG-fests, it's so refreshing to see an old-school martial arts action flick on the market.
Sometimes, just seeing men pitting their strength, speed and wits against each other is so much more exciting than an exaggerated "epic" spectacle. And it's most certainly done right here! I can't even watch this movie without uttering some kind of verbal reaction to each blow like, "Ooh!" "Aw-haww!"
The premise is a SWAT team infiltrating a mob boss's apartment complex, fighting for their lives when their target tells all the tenants to attack them. It's a fantastic setup, and it makes sense that the action is almost nonstop: these guys just can't catch a break!
In conclusion, if you're an action fan, then you can't skip this one! It's high-octane violence at its best.
My rating: 85%.
First, A Thousand Words, the new comedy with Eddie Murphy. It boasts a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, so I had to check it out! I was thinking, "It can't be that bad, right?" But indeed it was! Oh, God do I hate this movie! This is right up there with This Means War as one of the worst movies of the year so far!
I didn't mind the first half-hour too much, but I certainly wasn't laughing at it. But once Eddie Murphy's character is forced to stop talking, everything goes downhill fast! Every scene that follows, where they constantly hammer that joke into the ground, is just excruciating to watch.
In fact, there's a scene just before the hour mark where, if I'd had any other mentality, that would have been the last straw: I seriously would have stopped the movie right there!
It's a movie that annoys the shit out of me, and I hate it all the more for trying to be emotional.
My rating: 15%.
And second, The Raid (AKA The Raid: Redemption). Now you're talking! In an age overflowing with brainless CG-fests, it's so refreshing to see an old-school martial arts action flick on the market.
Sometimes, just seeing men pitting their strength, speed and wits against each other is so much more exciting than an exaggerated "epic" spectacle. And it's most certainly done right here! I can't even watch this movie without uttering some kind of verbal reaction to each blow like, "Ooh!" "Aw-haww!"
The premise is a SWAT team infiltrating a mob boss's apartment complex, fighting for their lives when their target tells all the tenants to attack them. It's a fantastic setup, and it makes sense that the action is almost nonstop: these guys just can't catch a break!
In conclusion, if you're an action fan, then you can't skip this one! It's high-octane violence at its best.
My rating: 85%.
Tuesday 23 October 2012
My Madame Tussauds Visit
As I mentioned before, while I was in England, I went up to London with my friend John and his mother Debbie. While Debbie was off doing her own thing, John and I visited Madame Tussauds, which turned out to be the bulk of our London trip as a whole. We wanted to see Buckingham Palace as well, because we were also in London last year but didn’t get to it. But we ended up spending so much time at Madame Tussauds that we never got round to it this time either.
Actually, let me digress slightly to explain what happened last year. That time, we saw a couple of the key London sights, like Westminster and the British Museum, and we walked along the river and passed right underneath the London Eye. We happened upon what we assumed to be the avenue to Buckingham Palace at one point, but didn’t actually follow it; we were heading in the other direction, because we were looking for Trafalgar Square.
So anyway, Madame Tussauds. For those of you who are ignorant slobs (like me), it’s a wax museum – probably one of the most famous in the world, with branches in several other major cities. Now, obviously, I wouldn’t want to spoil everything for anyone thinking of visiting it themselves. Though I probably wouldn’t be able to do that anyway, because I gather the wax sculptures are on a rotation – possibly traded among the other international branches – so there’s no guarantee that you’ll see the exact same assortment each time you visit. I’m just here to recap the ones that I remember seeing.
Well, the first thing to mention is how long it took to get in! There was quite a queue outside the door, and when we finally got to the front, we saw a notice warning that the actual ticket desk was still an hour away!
The ticket desk was at the end of a long passageway dotted with a few wax sculptures and various other displays. For example, Tom Hanks was standing in one corner. There was one of those panoramas with a hole to put your face through (I’m sure those things have a name, but I’ve never heard it used): in this case, your head was on a pike, having been decapitated! There was a policeman at the foot of the stairs right before the ticket desk, whom we thought at first was supposed to be Nicholas Angel from Hot Fuzz. But I think he was really just supposed to be an anonymous London police constable. Especially since he was standing next to another London landmark: a phone box.
And when we got up the stairs, there was still a weaving series of rope barriers leading up to the ticket desk – you know the way. It’s like they went out of their way to make the queue stretch as long as possible!
I should also mention that they had an offer on, allowing you to save money by booking with Madame Tussauds and one or more of three other major London attractions: Sea Life, the London Dungeon and the London Eye. But John and I decided against it just because of sheer monetary value. It cost £30 apiece just to get into Madame Tussauds, so to get it with something else would have cost a total of £100 or so.
So the first chamber was Andy Warhol-related, with a sculpture of Warhol himself and two women that I guessed were his models or something. There was an opportunity to get a professional picture taken and done in the style of a Warhol portrait. Neither John nor I had any interest in doing that, though.
But next was the main exhibit. I think they were calling it the Red Carpet Party or something. I recognised most of the Hollywood celebrities on display, but obviously not all of them.
The ones we noticed first, standing in a line, were (in order): Morgan Freeman, Russell Brand – probably the only time you’ll see those two standing together; one that I guessed to be Julia Roberts – we weren’t close enough to see their tags; Leonardo DiCaprio, whose eyebrows were so thin that they made him look Chinese or something; Nicole Kidman, Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Miley Cyrus, and a couple at the end that I didn’t recognise.
Across the room from that line, there was a stage framed by two alcoves. On the stage were Colin Firth, Kate Winslet and Helen Mirren. In one of the alcoves was Cheryl Cole, and in the other were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
In one corner was another opportunity to get a professional photograph taken – with Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Yeah, John and I avoided that one like the plague!
Tom Cruise was there – significantly taller than I thought! He was on the other side of a pillar from someone I’ll get to in a moment. George Clooney was there too. But I only recognised him because of his hair colour and the suit he was wearing; the face itself looked nothing like George Clooney.
Now, that room contained both the most lifelike figures in the whole museum and the absolute worst. Many of the other faces in the museum were almost spot-on, but Helen Mirren and Morgan Freeman were probably the best of them all. But by far the absolute worst was Brad Pitt. It looked nothing like Brad Pitt! It looked more like someone you’d see in a 60s gangster movie or something!
But, to make up for that, that room also contained an overload of awesomeness: Patrick Stewart and Sean Connery in the same room! :D Patrick Stewart was on the other side of the aforementioned pillar from Tom Cruise, and Sean Connery was right at the end of the room, next to George Clooney.
So following the Red Carpet Party (or whatever it was called) was a long hallway divided into several sections. Not by walls or anything, but it was just a few areas with a common theme.
There was a sports section. I have no interest in sports whatsoever, so I hardly knew any of the faces there. But I recognised David Beckham, of course. And Usain Bolt. And I remember Tiger Woods and Pelé were on a stand together.
Then there were a few historical figures, and the Royal Family across from them. The historical figures included Henry VIII standing between Elizabeth I and Mary, Queen of Scots, and the only other one I remember is Princess Diana. And the Royal Family included the Queen herself and Prince Philip, obviously, and also Prince William and Kate Middleton. Separate from them were Edward VIII and Wallis, Duchess of Windsor. I don’t think I need to explain the appropriateness of their separation!
Next up, across from a kiosk offering wax hands cast (John actually got one done), there were several key figures in the fields of science and literature, plus one or two in art. First was Sir Isaac Newton, who was holding a small glass object that really bewildered me. But then I looked at his tag, and it said he was a prime innovator in optics, so I guessed it was prism or something. Then there was Albert Einstein; I was surprised to see how short he was! In front of both of them was, to my surprise, Stephen Hawking. Next came Isambard Kingdom Brunel, William Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde. (John was surprised to find that he was Irish!) There was someone whom John guessed was Charles Dickens; there was no tag at all for him. And next to him were Vincent van Gogh and… Pablo Picasso, I think.
Next came a pretty big pop music section. As we went in, immediately to our left were the Beatles (pretty early on, from the look of it), and immediately to our right was… ugh… Justin Bieber! Going clockwise from the Beatles, there was ABBA, Michael Jackson (the wall next to him was almost like a shrine to him), and a stage boasting several other figures, of whom I only remember a handful. The ones I do clearly remember are Rihanna, Amy Winehouse, Lady Gaga in the Telephone attire, Freddie Mercury, Leona Lewis and Beyoncé. (Beyoncé was pretty off!) There were three other figures in front of the stage: Christina Aguilera (I was amazed at how tiny she was!), Robbie Williams and Bob Marley – the latter of whom I didn’t see at first, not until we backtracked later on.
And the final section was all to do with politics. On one side of a stand were several people who we assumed to be civil rights leaders, since Gandhi and Nelson Mandela were among them, and on the other side were Winston Churchill and Adolf Hitler. There were four figures of present-day British parliament, including Boris Johnson and David Cameron himself, standing in front of a Downing Street set. Across from them was a line of leaders I don’t remember or care about. After all, if there’s one thing that interests me less than sports, it’s politics. And finally, there was one more professional photograph being taken: of you behind the desk at the White House with Barack Obama! John decided to get that picture taken, and he got it printed and took it home.
So that was the end of the waxworks galleries, but there were still a few more attractions in store.
I remember, at one point, there was a display explaining the life of Madame Tussaud herself, and across from that was a demonstration of all the steps of creating a wax sculpture. The face bust of Beyoncé at the end of that looked far better than the actual model on display!
Then there was the Chamber of Horrors, which, for me, was completely underwhelming. I’ve seen so many horror movies that I’m certainly desensitised to stuff that’s tame enough to be a public display like that. The place was done in the style of a dark insane asylum, and they had live actors as the inmates, who’d sometimes lunge at you. But they assured us before we went in that they wouldn’t actually touch us, and they requested that we not touch them either. But really, the only kind of scary part for me was occasionally having a bright light shone in your face, which dazzled you so that, for a moment, you couldn’t see where you were going.
At either end of the Chamber of Horrors were a few displays of some olden-day torture methods, including a wax sculpture of Vlad the Impaler.
Then there was a ride called The Spirit of London. The cars were in the style of London taxis, and it was basically a train ride through the history of London. Not much to say there except that my favourite part was the smell when it got to the Black Death: that was pretty effective.
And the final attraction of note was an interactive movie called Marvel Super Heroes 4D.
In the passage leading up to it were sculptures of the various Marvel superheroes, including Spider-Man in an upside-down room, Wolverine in a cage, Nick Fury (with the Samuel L Jackson likeness, of course), Captain America (again, the movie version) and Iron Man. The Incredible Hulk took up two floors, with his hand coming through the railing of the balcony on the upper level, so that you could pose in his fist if you wanted to.
Now, the last time I saw the word “4D” used in a title was for Spy Kids 4, so I was really hoping this movie wouldn’t use that stupid Aroma-Scope gimmick. But no, it’s an interactive movie more along the lines of Honey, I Shrunk the Audience at Disneyland. For example, when Spider-Man shoots his web, you’ll feel a cold blast of air behind you to match. Also, it’s a 360° movie, so you’re watching it on the domed ceiling above you. (Someone once told me they saw Transformers in a cinema like that. I can only imagine how annoying that would be!)
Anyway, the movie was pretty underwhelming too. One of my main gripes with 3D as a whole is that I never sit in the right spot for the glasses to focus right. I don’t know if other people have that problem, but it’s something I’ve run into every single time I see a 3D movie.
Also, the “interactive” effects weren’t in any way realistic. For example, when Wolverine drew his claws, I felt prods in the seat digging into my back. John said he hadn’t felt that, so I guess it was only in some seats. But still, how does it in any way simulate Wolverine’s claws?
And the film itself was just plain silly. The dialogue was overly goofy and melodramatic. Maybe it was trying to appeal to kids or something. And it did get pretty laughable at times. Like why would the Marvel superheroes’ secret base be in Madame Tussauds?! :D And, as John pointed out, why was there only one guard at Buckingham Palace?
It did get me thinking, though. I want to see the villain Doctor Doom in one of the upcoming Marvel movies! :)
So there you have it. That was my personal Madame Tussauds experience. Like I said, maybe you’ll have an entirely different one. In any case, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. John and I had to pay a total of £60 to get in, and I’d say we definitely got our money’s worth! :)
Actually, let me digress slightly to explain what happened last year. That time, we saw a couple of the key London sights, like Westminster and the British Museum, and we walked along the river and passed right underneath the London Eye. We happened upon what we assumed to be the avenue to Buckingham Palace at one point, but didn’t actually follow it; we were heading in the other direction, because we were looking for Trafalgar Square.
So anyway, Madame Tussauds. For those of you who are ignorant slobs (like me), it’s a wax museum – probably one of the most famous in the world, with branches in several other major cities. Now, obviously, I wouldn’t want to spoil everything for anyone thinking of visiting it themselves. Though I probably wouldn’t be able to do that anyway, because I gather the wax sculptures are on a rotation – possibly traded among the other international branches – so there’s no guarantee that you’ll see the exact same assortment each time you visit. I’m just here to recap the ones that I remember seeing.
Well, the first thing to mention is how long it took to get in! There was quite a queue outside the door, and when we finally got to the front, we saw a notice warning that the actual ticket desk was still an hour away!
The ticket desk was at the end of a long passageway dotted with a few wax sculptures and various other displays. For example, Tom Hanks was standing in one corner. There was one of those panoramas with a hole to put your face through (I’m sure those things have a name, but I’ve never heard it used): in this case, your head was on a pike, having been decapitated! There was a policeman at the foot of the stairs right before the ticket desk, whom we thought at first was supposed to be Nicholas Angel from Hot Fuzz. But I think he was really just supposed to be an anonymous London police constable. Especially since he was standing next to another London landmark: a phone box.
And when we got up the stairs, there was still a weaving series of rope barriers leading up to the ticket desk – you know the way. It’s like they went out of their way to make the queue stretch as long as possible!
I should also mention that they had an offer on, allowing you to save money by booking with Madame Tussauds and one or more of three other major London attractions: Sea Life, the London Dungeon and the London Eye. But John and I decided against it just because of sheer monetary value. It cost £30 apiece just to get into Madame Tussauds, so to get it with something else would have cost a total of £100 or so.
So the first chamber was Andy Warhol-related, with a sculpture of Warhol himself and two women that I guessed were his models or something. There was an opportunity to get a professional picture taken and done in the style of a Warhol portrait. Neither John nor I had any interest in doing that, though.
But next was the main exhibit. I think they were calling it the Red Carpet Party or something. I recognised most of the Hollywood celebrities on display, but obviously not all of them.
The ones we noticed first, standing in a line, were (in order): Morgan Freeman, Russell Brand – probably the only time you’ll see those two standing together; one that I guessed to be Julia Roberts – we weren’t close enough to see their tags; Leonardo DiCaprio, whose eyebrows were so thin that they made him look Chinese or something; Nicole Kidman, Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Miley Cyrus, and a couple at the end that I didn’t recognise.
Across the room from that line, there was a stage framed by two alcoves. On the stage were Colin Firth, Kate Winslet and Helen Mirren. In one of the alcoves was Cheryl Cole, and in the other were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
In one corner was another opportunity to get a professional photograph taken – with Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Yeah, John and I avoided that one like the plague!
Tom Cruise was there – significantly taller than I thought! He was on the other side of a pillar from someone I’ll get to in a moment. George Clooney was there too. But I only recognised him because of his hair colour and the suit he was wearing; the face itself looked nothing like George Clooney.
Now, that room contained both the most lifelike figures in the whole museum and the absolute worst. Many of the other faces in the museum were almost spot-on, but Helen Mirren and Morgan Freeman were probably the best of them all. But by far the absolute worst was Brad Pitt. It looked nothing like Brad Pitt! It looked more like someone you’d see in a 60s gangster movie or something!
But, to make up for that, that room also contained an overload of awesomeness: Patrick Stewart and Sean Connery in the same room! :D Patrick Stewart was on the other side of the aforementioned pillar from Tom Cruise, and Sean Connery was right at the end of the room, next to George Clooney.
So following the Red Carpet Party (or whatever it was called) was a long hallway divided into several sections. Not by walls or anything, but it was just a few areas with a common theme.
There was a sports section. I have no interest in sports whatsoever, so I hardly knew any of the faces there. But I recognised David Beckham, of course. And Usain Bolt. And I remember Tiger Woods and Pelé were on a stand together.
Then there were a few historical figures, and the Royal Family across from them. The historical figures included Henry VIII standing between Elizabeth I and Mary, Queen of Scots, and the only other one I remember is Princess Diana. And the Royal Family included the Queen herself and Prince Philip, obviously, and also Prince William and Kate Middleton. Separate from them were Edward VIII and Wallis, Duchess of Windsor. I don’t think I need to explain the appropriateness of their separation!
Next up, across from a kiosk offering wax hands cast (John actually got one done), there were several key figures in the fields of science and literature, plus one or two in art. First was Sir Isaac Newton, who was holding a small glass object that really bewildered me. But then I looked at his tag, and it said he was a prime innovator in optics, so I guessed it was prism or something. Then there was Albert Einstein; I was surprised to see how short he was! In front of both of them was, to my surprise, Stephen Hawking. Next came Isambard Kingdom Brunel, William Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde. (John was surprised to find that he was Irish!) There was someone whom John guessed was Charles Dickens; there was no tag at all for him. And next to him were Vincent van Gogh and… Pablo Picasso, I think.
Next came a pretty big pop music section. As we went in, immediately to our left were the Beatles (pretty early on, from the look of it), and immediately to our right was… ugh… Justin Bieber! Going clockwise from the Beatles, there was ABBA, Michael Jackson (the wall next to him was almost like a shrine to him), and a stage boasting several other figures, of whom I only remember a handful. The ones I do clearly remember are Rihanna, Amy Winehouse, Lady Gaga in the Telephone attire, Freddie Mercury, Leona Lewis and Beyoncé. (Beyoncé was pretty off!) There were three other figures in front of the stage: Christina Aguilera (I was amazed at how tiny she was!), Robbie Williams and Bob Marley – the latter of whom I didn’t see at first, not until we backtracked later on.
And the final section was all to do with politics. On one side of a stand were several people who we assumed to be civil rights leaders, since Gandhi and Nelson Mandela were among them, and on the other side were Winston Churchill and Adolf Hitler. There were four figures of present-day British parliament, including Boris Johnson and David Cameron himself, standing in front of a Downing Street set. Across from them was a line of leaders I don’t remember or care about. After all, if there’s one thing that interests me less than sports, it’s politics. And finally, there was one more professional photograph being taken: of you behind the desk at the White House with Barack Obama! John decided to get that picture taken, and he got it printed and took it home.
So that was the end of the waxworks galleries, but there were still a few more attractions in store.
I remember, at one point, there was a display explaining the life of Madame Tussaud herself, and across from that was a demonstration of all the steps of creating a wax sculpture. The face bust of Beyoncé at the end of that looked far better than the actual model on display!
Then there was the Chamber of Horrors, which, for me, was completely underwhelming. I’ve seen so many horror movies that I’m certainly desensitised to stuff that’s tame enough to be a public display like that. The place was done in the style of a dark insane asylum, and they had live actors as the inmates, who’d sometimes lunge at you. But they assured us before we went in that they wouldn’t actually touch us, and they requested that we not touch them either. But really, the only kind of scary part for me was occasionally having a bright light shone in your face, which dazzled you so that, for a moment, you couldn’t see where you were going.
At either end of the Chamber of Horrors were a few displays of some olden-day torture methods, including a wax sculpture of Vlad the Impaler.
Then there was a ride called The Spirit of London. The cars were in the style of London taxis, and it was basically a train ride through the history of London. Not much to say there except that my favourite part was the smell when it got to the Black Death: that was pretty effective.
And the final attraction of note was an interactive movie called Marvel Super Heroes 4D.
In the passage leading up to it were sculptures of the various Marvel superheroes, including Spider-Man in an upside-down room, Wolverine in a cage, Nick Fury (with the Samuel L Jackson likeness, of course), Captain America (again, the movie version) and Iron Man. The Incredible Hulk took up two floors, with his hand coming through the railing of the balcony on the upper level, so that you could pose in his fist if you wanted to.
Now, the last time I saw the word “4D” used in a title was for Spy Kids 4, so I was really hoping this movie wouldn’t use that stupid Aroma-Scope gimmick. But no, it’s an interactive movie more along the lines of Honey, I Shrunk the Audience at Disneyland. For example, when Spider-Man shoots his web, you’ll feel a cold blast of air behind you to match. Also, it’s a 360° movie, so you’re watching it on the domed ceiling above you. (Someone once told me they saw Transformers in a cinema like that. I can only imagine how annoying that would be!)
Anyway, the movie was pretty underwhelming too. One of my main gripes with 3D as a whole is that I never sit in the right spot for the glasses to focus right. I don’t know if other people have that problem, but it’s something I’ve run into every single time I see a 3D movie.
Also, the “interactive” effects weren’t in any way realistic. For example, when Wolverine drew his claws, I felt prods in the seat digging into my back. John said he hadn’t felt that, so I guess it was only in some seats. But still, how does it in any way simulate Wolverine’s claws?
And the film itself was just plain silly. The dialogue was overly goofy and melodramatic. Maybe it was trying to appeal to kids or something. And it did get pretty laughable at times. Like why would the Marvel superheroes’ secret base be in Madame Tussauds?! :D And, as John pointed out, why was there only one guard at Buckingham Palace?
It did get me thinking, though. I want to see the villain Doctor Doom in one of the upcoming Marvel movies! :)
So there you have it. That was my personal Madame Tussauds experience. Like I said, maybe you’ll have an entirely different one. In any case, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. John and I had to pay a total of £60 to get in, and I’d say we definitely got our money’s worth! :)
Monday 22 October 2012
First Impressions: "Stacking" + "Eufloria"
And finally, I'll just briefly comment on two little independent games.
Stacking is an adventure game from Double Fine in which you play a little Russian nested doll trying to rescue his family.
You can stack up with larger dolls and take control of them, and this leads to some fun puzzles.
It's another game I look forward to playing more.
My rating: 70%.
And Eufloria is a very simplistic game where you're basically planting seeds on asteroids. Later on, you have to use those seeds to fight evil ones, but I was just too unenthused to think in the required strategic way. The whole concept didn't do a thing for me at all. It's a game about planting seeds! It just left me thinking, "Why am I playing this?"
It's better to think of them as spaceships or something, and I had a lot more fun watching John play it – 'cos he got much more into it.
I don't have a rating for this one, since it's perfectly fine for what it is, but it just didn't appeal to me personally.
So that's the end of my first impressions of everything I saw (or played) in England. Stay tuned for the account of my trip to Madame Tussauds, coming soon.
Stacking is an adventure game from Double Fine in which you play a little Russian nested doll trying to rescue his family.
You can stack up with larger dolls and take control of them, and this leads to some fun puzzles.
It's another game I look forward to playing more.
My rating: 70%.
And Eufloria is a very simplistic game where you're basically planting seeds on asteroids. Later on, you have to use those seeds to fight evil ones, but I was just too unenthused to think in the required strategic way. The whole concept didn't do a thing for me at all. It's a game about planting seeds! It just left me thinking, "Why am I playing this?"
It's better to think of them as spaceships or something, and I had a lot more fun watching John play it – 'cos he got much more into it.
I don't have a rating for this one, since it's perfectly fine for what it is, but it just didn't appeal to me personally.
So that's the end of my first impressions of everything I saw (or played) in England. Stay tuned for the account of my trip to Madame Tussauds, coming soon.
First Impressions: "The Walking Dead" + "XCOM: Enemy Unknown"
As I mentioned, I also played a couple of games in England. So here we go: my first video game-related first impression comments! :)
The big one was The Walking Dead from Telltale. I watched the first season of the show while I was there, and I was distinctly underwhelmed. I know they're both based on the comic book series, so there's not much point in comparing the two, but in my opinion the Telltale game blows the show out of the water. It's a much more believable depiction of the zombie apocalypse, and I like the characters far, far, far better.
It's also really clever how the game actually adapts to the choices you make along the way. It really does seem like you're creating your own adventure.
So far, only episodes one to four have been released, and I really look forward to seeing the fifth and final – though I will admit the voice on the phone seems to have taken a step into straight-up Bond villain territory.
Overall, another of Telltale's triumphs.
My rating: 95%.
I also played another game that's been causing quite a buzz recently: XCOM: Enemy Unknown. From what I can gather, this is the game that hardcore X-COM fans had been waiting for, finally returning the series to its turn-based strategy roots. For me, it was my first X-COM experience, and it was a highly enjoyable one.
Though I admit I'm not the best strategic thinker in the world. John and I took it in turns to play the game, which I think further impeded my performance: I lost out on valuable experience, so when it came to the tougher situations later on, I just got clobbered – especially going up against the Chrysalids. (God, I fucking hate those things!)
I really need to get it myself and get some practice of my own. So it's a good thing it's a good enough game that I really want to do that anyway! :)
I can see it having a lot of replay value and giving me hours of fun in the future.
My rating: 90%.
The big one was The Walking Dead from Telltale. I watched the first season of the show while I was there, and I was distinctly underwhelmed. I know they're both based on the comic book series, so there's not much point in comparing the two, but in my opinion the Telltale game blows the show out of the water. It's a much more believable depiction of the zombie apocalypse, and I like the characters far, far, far better.
It's also really clever how the game actually adapts to the choices you make along the way. It really does seem like you're creating your own adventure.
So far, only episodes one to four have been released, and I really look forward to seeing the fifth and final – though I will admit the voice on the phone seems to have taken a step into straight-up Bond villain territory.
Overall, another of Telltale's triumphs.
My rating: 95%.
I also played another game that's been causing quite a buzz recently: XCOM: Enemy Unknown. From what I can gather, this is the game that hardcore X-COM fans had been waiting for, finally returning the series to its turn-based strategy roots. For me, it was my first X-COM experience, and it was a highly enjoyable one.
Though I admit I'm not the best strategic thinker in the world. John and I took it in turns to play the game, which I think further impeded my performance: I lost out on valuable experience, so when it came to the tougher situations later on, I just got clobbered – especially going up against the Chrysalids. (God, I fucking hate those things!)
I really need to get it myself and get some practice of my own. So it's a good thing it's a good enough game that I really want to do that anyway! :)
I can see it having a lot of replay value and giving me hours of fun in the future.
My rating: 90%.
First Impressions: "30 Days of Night" (2007), "City of God" (2002) + "Predators" (2010)
John and I also watched a couple of DVDs I'd brought with me.
The first was 30 Days of Night. One word: sucked! I haven't read the comic it's based on, but it can't be any worse than this! After all, this is an awesome premise. But man is it executed poorly in this movie!
All the performances are dull as dishwater, which makes the sombre tone seem downright boring rather than desperate. (So you can see why they chose David Slade to direct a Twilight movie!)
We get no sense whatsoever of the passing of time. Instead of just jumping ahead a few days every once in a while, how about if the vampires had massacred the town gradually, building up to a climax?
And the vampires themselves just look… well… silly.
So yeah, I don't like this one. A great premise and cinematography can't make up for an insufferably boring tone.
My rating: 35%.
And the second was City of God. Now, that's more like it!
A caption on the box calls it the Brazilian Goodfellas, and coincidentally that's exactly what I was thinking while watching it! It reminds me very much of Goodfellas with its narration and its premise of the everymen working their way up the mob hierarchy.
This is a gang war story in which both sides are as rotten as each other, so who you root for depends on whose ideals you agree with most. Rocket is the only one who stays honest throughout, but all the characters are easy to latch onto because of how human they seem (except for Li'l Zé, whose thirst for violence seems to come completely out of nowhere).
At times it gets pretty unpleasant, but it never stops being an entertaining and captivating story. Terrific movie.
My rating: 90%.
And finally, we watched one of John's DVDs: Predators. This is another one that I really enjoyed. Everyone says it's a long-awaited worthy sequel to the franchise, and they're not kidding. It captures everything that was good about the original Predator, but still updates it appropriately.
My favourite scene is actually the opening. It's a fantastic excuse to have the characters fight right off the bat!
I actually think it's much more consistently strong than the original, where the first half wasn't that interesting, but it accelerated to one of the best climaxes I've ever seen. Though, on that note, I wish this movie could have had a better climax. The ending does lead to a really weak twist.
Still, all the performances are solid (especially Adrien Brody), and the movie never stops being entertaining and awesome.
My rating: 75%.
The first was 30 Days of Night. One word: sucked! I haven't read the comic it's based on, but it can't be any worse than this! After all, this is an awesome premise. But man is it executed poorly in this movie!
All the performances are dull as dishwater, which makes the sombre tone seem downright boring rather than desperate. (So you can see why they chose David Slade to direct a Twilight movie!)
We get no sense whatsoever of the passing of time. Instead of just jumping ahead a few days every once in a while, how about if the vampires had massacred the town gradually, building up to a climax?
And the vampires themselves just look… well… silly.
So yeah, I don't like this one. A great premise and cinematography can't make up for an insufferably boring tone.
My rating: 35%.
And the second was City of God. Now, that's more like it!
A caption on the box calls it the Brazilian Goodfellas, and coincidentally that's exactly what I was thinking while watching it! It reminds me very much of Goodfellas with its narration and its premise of the everymen working their way up the mob hierarchy.
This is a gang war story in which both sides are as rotten as each other, so who you root for depends on whose ideals you agree with most. Rocket is the only one who stays honest throughout, but all the characters are easy to latch onto because of how human they seem (except for Li'l Zé, whose thirst for violence seems to come completely out of nowhere).
At times it gets pretty unpleasant, but it never stops being an entertaining and captivating story. Terrific movie.
My rating: 90%.
And finally, we watched one of John's DVDs: Predators. This is another one that I really enjoyed. Everyone says it's a long-awaited worthy sequel to the franchise, and they're not kidding. It captures everything that was good about the original Predator, but still updates it appropriately.
My favourite scene is actually the opening. It's a fantastic excuse to have the characters fight right off the bat!
I actually think it's much more consistently strong than the original, where the first half wasn't that interesting, but it accelerated to one of the best climaxes I've ever seen. Though, on that note, I wish this movie could have had a better climax. The ending does lead to a really weak twist.
Still, all the performances are solid (especially Adrien Brody), and the movie never stops being entertaining and awesome.
My rating: 75%.
First Impressions: "Frankenweenie" + "Taken 2" (2012)
John and I went to the cinema again on Thursday.
The first movie we saw was Frankenweenie. It's Tim Burton once again doing what he does best: a dark, somewhat twisted horror spoof. Stop-motion animation, too. It's classic Tim Burton inside and out. But it's a shame the movie itself is just okay.
It has a lot of cute references to classic horror movies (my personal favourite being a dog with the Bride of Frankenstein hair), the climax has some fun moments, and of course it's all flawlessly animated. But none of it packs any kind of emotional punch, even though it's trying to. Maybe it's the voice acting – I don't know.
Other than that, I'm not sure what to say about this one. I liked parts of it, and it had a lot of potential, but overall it was nowhere near as strong as it could have been. I prefer this year's other stop-motion horror spoof, ParaNorman, by far.
My rating: 60%.
And the second was Taken 2. This one's okay too. It's certainly much simpler than the original. It's not trying to be anything more than a simple revenge-themed action fest. And for that, it's not bad.
In a way, it's also less pretentious than the original. I've mentioned before that you'd expect a certain degree of maturity from a film involving the very real issue of human trafficking. But this sequel has nothing to do with that.
The only major problem is the excessive Bourne-esque shaky cam. I thought at first that that would constantly irritate me, but luckily, for the most part, I could still make out what was happening.
Also, the story has no real structure, so the climax kind of caught me off guard when it arrived.
On the whole, I think it's okay. It's a fun film with some fun moments.
My rating: 60%.
The first movie we saw was Frankenweenie. It's Tim Burton once again doing what he does best: a dark, somewhat twisted horror spoof. Stop-motion animation, too. It's classic Tim Burton inside and out. But it's a shame the movie itself is just okay.
It has a lot of cute references to classic horror movies (my personal favourite being a dog with the Bride of Frankenstein hair), the climax has some fun moments, and of course it's all flawlessly animated. But none of it packs any kind of emotional punch, even though it's trying to. Maybe it's the voice acting – I don't know.
Other than that, I'm not sure what to say about this one. I liked parts of it, and it had a lot of potential, but overall it was nowhere near as strong as it could have been. I prefer this year's other stop-motion horror spoof, ParaNorman, by far.
My rating: 60%.
And the second was Taken 2. This one's okay too. It's certainly much simpler than the original. It's not trying to be anything more than a simple revenge-themed action fest. And for that, it's not bad.
In a way, it's also less pretentious than the original. I've mentioned before that you'd expect a certain degree of maturity from a film involving the very real issue of human trafficking. But this sequel has nothing to do with that.
The only major problem is the excessive Bourne-esque shaky cam. I thought at first that that would constantly irritate me, but luckily, for the most part, I could still make out what was happening.
Also, the story has no real structure, so the climax kind of caught me off guard when it arrived.
On the whole, I think it's okay. It's a fun film with some fun moments.
My rating: 60%.
First Impressions: "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" + "Looper" (2012)
All right, I'm back! :D I just got home from a week-long trip to England. And I have quite a few first impressions for you – as well as an account of my visit to Madame Tussauds in London! :) I'll probably post that story in full later on. But first, obviously, I'll go through my first impression reviews in small doses. I have seven movies to get through, plus a couple of video games.
First up, my friend John and I went to the cinema on Tuesday and saw two movies.
The first was The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which, for me, was this year's biggest surprise since The Cabin in the Woods! It's about a junior in high school who's an outcast until he's taken under the wing of two seniors. Maybe it's just because I'm overly sentimental and a sucker for underdog stories, but I surprisingly really loved this movie.
In many ways, this is the polar opposite of Project X, since I genuinely liked all these characters and wanted to be part of this high school.
It may seem overly soap opera-ish to some people, but I'll admit that I loved every second of it. It's a very familiar story, but its characters are so charming that it's just irresistible.
My rating: 85%.
And the second was Looper. And my first impression is that it was a tad over-hyped. I mean, yes, it was undeniably clever and very entertaining, but it didn't blow my mind, and I didn't think it was as amazing as everybody said.
Parts of it maybe weren't quite developed enough for me to immediately get them, so my lingering confusion is probably why some later scenes fell flat.
But like I said, this is just my initial reaction. Maybe a second viewing will change my mind.
Still, many individual scenes were brilliantly written and executed, even if it didn't quite all gel together for me. What happens to the old Seth still sticks in my head; that was brutal!
So on the whole, I enjoyed it, and I look forward to seeing it again to see if I can follow everything that evaded me the first time round.
My rating: 75%.
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