Sunday 30 September 2012

First Impressions: "Treasure Planet" (2002) + "Brother Bear" (2003)

   I'm back to the Disney marathon now. I only have a few left. And, of the three I saw today, here are my impressions of the two I was seeing for the first time.

   First up, Treasure Planet. Yeah, Treasure Island in space! Now, I'm not the biggest fan of Treasure Island to begin with, and in this case, even putting a sci-fi spin on it doesn't help much.
   If you can get into the world this movie sets up, it's actually a very good adventure story. For me personally, even though I really like some of the characters, I could just never buy the world itself. The way I see it, you should either tell the straight-up story of Treasure Island or go all the way with converting it to sci-fi; don't try to meet halfway.
   But like I said, you do get to like a lot of the characters, and once the story gets going, it is very well written and does lead to some pretty exciting moments.
   Overall, I'd say this is on par with Atlantis: The Lost Empire: a flawed but fun adventure.
   My rating: 55%.

   And secondly, Brother Bear. This movie really frustrates me in how right it gets some things and how wrong it gets so many others.
   The beginning is brilliant, with endearing characters, believable drama and a culture you can easily become absorbed in.
    But after the main character gets turned into a bear, everything plummets downhill. The dialogue is painfully modern, and the morals are confused as well as lame.
   By way of an example, I'll give you the two extremities of the movie – without spoiling anything. A character dies pretty early on, and I was genuinely torn up about it. By contrast, at the end of the second act, they put a song in the absolute worst place imaginable.
   So the first act is terrific, but the rest can suck it. I mean, talk about being so close and yet so far!
   My rating: 45%.

First Impressions: "Hope Springs" + "Savages" (2012)

   I went to see two movies yesterday. I've got a cold, so I just didn't have the energy to comment on them when I got home last night. But anyway, here are my reviews now.

   The first was Hope Springs. My only interest in seeing this one was Meryl Streep. The premise is a middle-aged couple going to a marriage counsellor to try and get their marriage back on track, so I was afraid I'd be far too young to appreciate this movie. And guess what: I was right. All I can say is, if you're that sort of age, and especially if you're experiencing rough times in your marriage yourself, this movie is for you. It's good for what it is, I guess; I could just never get into it.
   My rating: 55%.

   And the second was Savages. And man, what a bore it was! Of all the movies I've seen this year, I think this is the one where I cared the least what was going on. One reason is that a lot of the dialogue just went in one ear and out the other, so I didn't really understand anyone's motivation. But on top of that, I simply didn't sympathise with the characters, which made the whole movie so hollow that even the violence was underwhelming. The rest is down to terrible jokes and one of the most infuriating twist endings I've ever seen. Overall, it's not one of the top five worst movies of the year or anything, but (along with Act of Valour) I think I can safely say that it's the most boring.
   My rating: 35%.

Friday 28 September 2012

First Impressions: "Piranha DD" + "Lockout" (2012)

   Well, I watched this week's two rentals today. Again, I was unable to rent them on the usual Tuesday. On both Tuesday and Wednesday this week, I was doing extras work on a TV show called Moone Boy, which apparently is a big hit here in Ireland.

   Rental 1: Piranha DD (as it was retitled on DVD). Well, this one wasn't as bad as I thought it would be; it was more or less what I should have expected. The CGI is just as bad as its predecessor, but it doesn't have the same sense of dark humour; it's basically a soulless, stagnant repeat.
   The nicest thing I can say about it is that at least it is actually a sequel. There's no mention of the parent piranhas, but at least it has more connection to the original than a simple throwaway reference, unlike some sequels I could name.
   Bottom line: it's a typical creature feature, so you can't expect too much, but at least its predecessor had something of an identity. This one does get noticeably silly at times, but it's mostly just kind of a bore.
   My rating: 30%.

   Rental 2: Lockout. I gathered from the trailer that it was basically Escape from New York in space. I haven't seen Escape from New York yet, but it has to be better than this at any rate! Lockout isn't bad, but it's not really anything special.
   None of the characters are set up that well, and the opening is so rushed that I could barely keep up with what was going on; I had to pause the movie at one point just so I could take in everything so far! Plus there's a blatant Star Wars rip-off in the finale, and a couple of glaring lapses in logic that really had me scratching my head, especially the idea of falling in space.
   Still, it is entertaining enough; it rolls with its premise fine.
   Also, after being so terribly miscast in both Prometheus and Lawless, it's nice to see a Guy Pearce appearance this year that I can't really criticise!
   Overall, it's not bad, but my rating's just barely leaning towards the positive side.
   My rating: 55%.

Sunday 23 September 2012

First Impressions: "Battleship" + "Wanderlust" (2012)

   Well, I watched this week's pair of rentals today. Circumstances forced me to rent them on Saturday instead of the usual Tuesday.

   First is Battleship. This is right up there with This Means War as one of the worst movies I've seen so far this year! First of all, I don't recall the board game having anything to do with aliens! And secondly (and I can't emphasise this enough), actually trying to imitate Michael Bay has got to be a new cinematic low!
   Still, at least this movie actually has a plot and sticks to it, which is more than you can say for Michael Bay himself! It seems like a War of the Worlds rip-off at first, but the goal here is to prevent the war from happening in the first place. That's actually not bad.
   The first two thirds are straight-up boring, but the last act made me realise this could have been enjoyed as a simple dumb blockbuster – if it weren't trying to be a Michael Bay imitator. (Seriously, man, that's sad!)
   Bottom line: it's still a terrible movie, but I'll take this over a Michael Bay movie any day!
   My rating: 20%.

   And the second is Wanderlust, a comedy starring Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston. Much like Project X, this is another movie that I'd probably just place in the "meh" category. The premise is that they're a downtrodden couple who come across a group of hippies and decide their best option is to join them. If that sounds appealing to you, maybe you'll enjoy it. Myself, it only made me laugh sparingly, and the ending just came off to me as a cliché. I do kind of like, though, how George is originally the one who's all for joining the hippies, but Linda's the one who really warms to their ways. Anyway, overall, just a mediocre movie.
   My rating: 50%.

Saturday 22 September 2012

First Impressions: "A Dangerous Method" (2011)

   I saw A Dangerous Method today. This is kind of a hard movie to talk about. For one thing, I have a tough time reviewing simple dramas anyway. But also, because this is a movie about doctors' disputing beliefs, the only way to really talk about it is to treat it like you're a doctor yourself and it's your patient, analyse it and see what you take from it. And that, I'm not gonna do! I will say, though, that it was a good idea to see what we make of Freud's theories today. I obviously don't know how historically accurate this movie is, but both parties in the film at least get you thinking. The pacing is a little confusing at times, but on the whole, this is a pretty good movie that I look forward to seeing a few more times and fully taking in.
   My rating: 70%.

Friday 21 September 2012

First Impressions: "Fantasia 2000" (1999)

   Well, here's my first "first impressions" post from my Disney marathon: the long-delayed sequel to one of Disney's ultimate masterpieces. This is something Disney wanted to do ever since the first Fantasia. When it finally happened… the end result was a bit of a disappointment. It follows the same format: individual animated segments set out to classical music. But here, none of the segments match the soaring high standards set by the original – though two of them, Pines of Rome and Firebird Suite, come close. Most of the other segments are just too cutesy; they just don't feel like Fantasia. Not to mention, the celebrity interludes are just painful to watch – again, with two exceptions: Angela Lansbury and James Earl Jones. Overall, whereas the original Fantasia was dignified and mature, this one feels more juvenile and manipulative.
   My rating: 60%.

Tuesday 18 September 2012

First Impressions: "Boston Strangler: The Untold Story" (2008)

   Just saw Boston Strangler: The Untold Story. I bought it in HMV, mistaking it for the 1968 film The Boston Strangler. Alas, this is a direct-to-DVD offering that claims to reveal the true identity of the infamous serial killer. I don't know the true story of the Boston Strangler murders, but regardless I'd be very afraid whenever a movie makes a claim like that.
   Anyway, as a movie, it's just as unimpressive as you'd probably expect a direct-to-DVD movie to be. The first act seems like it's told out of order, so I was really confused about the sequence of events. The constant political corruption got annoying pretty quickly, because it came across to me like in-your-face preaching. But perhaps the movie's biggest sin, something that can't be emphasised enough, is how downright boring it is.
   So it's a disappointment both as a Boston Strangler movie and a crime movie in general.
   My rating: 30%.

Sunday 16 September 2012

Back to Disney Tomorrow

   Well, I mentioned before that I was having a massive Disney marathon, going through all fifty-one of their animated motion pictures in chronological order. Now that I've finished that small detour with the three movies that are getting sequels/remakes this year, I'll be returning to the Disney run tomorrow.
   You're not going to see any of my comments on the movies for a while, because the last one I watched was The Rescuers Down Under, the next one that I haven't seen yet is Fantasia 2000. (Speaking of which, I saw the original Fantasia just before I started the whole run. I loved it to pieces, and I plan to watch it again as soon as I finish with the rest.)
   Now, because I have nothing else to do, I usually get through three Disney movies a day. And the three to follow – Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin and The Lion King – are all top favourites of mine, aside from The Jungle Book. So that means I'll get to watch all three of my top favourites in one day! Life is good! :D

First Impressions: "Judge Dredd" (1995) + "Taken" (2008)

   Well, I mentioned that there were three movies I wanted to see that are getting either remakes or sequels this year. Total Recall was the first, and today I saw the other two.

   One was Judge Dredd. I'm not entirely sure why so much hate gets thrown at this movie. I never read the comics, so I'm guessing part of the problem is that it doesn't follow them at all well. But as an action movie, it's a blast. The world it creates is fascinating, and it has all the over-the-top action set pieces and corny one-liners that you'd expect. Basically, it's aware that it's just an action movie, and it loves every minute of it. In fact, had it not been for the universally terrible acting, I might have ranked this up as one of the best action movies I've ever seen. I'm curious to see the new Dredd movie and see if they succeed in adapting the premise into something you can take somewhat seriously. But in the meantime, I'm going to have as much fun with this movie as it does with itself.
   My rating: 75%.

   And Taken (with Liam Neeson) was third and final. It's basically just an action movie that tackles grisly real-life issues. Human trafficking is very much for real, so I can understand why people might take issue with this movie, either because we watch movies to get away from the horrors of real life, or because turning them into a silly action movie might be a little improper. But personally, I don't see the harm in making a movie about a hero overcoming those problems; it's kind of therapeutic that way. Other than that, there's nothing really remarkable about the movie, though. But as an action movie, it delivers the goods. It's a fun thrill ride with some real kick-ass moments.
   My rating: 75%.

First Impressions: "To Boldly Flee" (2012)

   A couple of nights ago, I was up all night watching To Boldly Flee (the ThatGuyWithTheGlasses fourth year anniversary movie) from start to finish. I wasn't sure whether or not I should make a first impression comment, since I'm not sure it really counts as a motion picture. Well, I might as well.
   I loved it, but it didn't instantly wow me like last year's Suburban Knights did. It's just… a little too complicated. This movie is the Nostalgia Critic's swan song, his big farewell. That alone could have filled an entire movie. But instead, it's mixed in with like two dozen other wrestling plot points.
   But for what it's worth, there were many moments that got a big laugh from me, and I love the way the main plot combines both Star Trek and Star Wars. There's one particular moment that made me go, "AWESOMMMMME!!!!!!!" But my favourite aspect was the bickering between Zodd and Turrell (as they're credited, presumably for copyright reasons): it killed me every single time they were on screen together!
   So I really look forward to seeing it again.
   My rating: 85%.

Saturday 15 September 2012

First Impressions: "ParaNorman" (2012)

   I went to see ParaNorman today. Everyone's saying it's one of the best movies of the year so far… and they're not kidding! It's not only that, but also one of the best kids' movies I've seen in quite a while. It's a parody of horror movies, especially zombie flicks, and a really damn good one. Kids might find it a tad scary, but it's the good kind of scary that you can laugh about at the same time. Plus, when it's straight-up funny, it's hilarious. Surprisingly emotional, too. In short, a kids' movie done very, very right. It's also a breath of fresh air to see an animated movie that's not CG, and the stop-motion is astonishingly seamless. I probably would have enjoyed it a great deal more, though, if it hadn't been for a group of kids across the aisle who just would not shut up! Anyway, I highly, highly recommend this one.
   My rating: 85%.

Friday 14 September 2012

First Impressions: "Total Recall" (1990)

   I decided it was only fitting that my first movie comment should be on one of the most popular movies in existence.
   I'm having a massive Disney marathon at the moment, going through all fifty-one of their animated motion pictures in chronological order. But I decided to take a little break because I felt like watching three movies in particular for which this year is producing either remakes or sequels.

   Anyway, here are my brief thoughts on the original Total Recall. I thought it was really, really good! In terms of action and science-fiction, it does everything right: it's intelligent, and the action is used to punctuate key points in the story, which is what makes it so intense and thrilling. That's why the older action movies are infinitely superior to the mind-numbing junk food we have today.
   Also, this is one of those movies that feels long in a good way. It's only 108 minutes, but so much happens, and each scene feels so complete, that you'd swear it was closer to two-and-a-half hours.
   Anyway, you love the movie, I do too.
   My rating: 90% for now, but repeat viewings could bring it up even higher.

An Intro

   Hello, everybody.
   I decided to use this first blog entry to kind of introduce myself. You could probably get the same effect by looking at the "about me" panel on the side or viewing my whole profile, but I decided I might as well try to explain as best I can about myself and what I do here.

   My name's Max (obviously), and the first thing you should know is that I'm a huge film buff. In fact, filmmaking is what I hope to go into later in life. It's certainly what I intend to study when I return to college. I used to do drama studies, you see, but I didn't get on too well there, and overall I wasn't that interested in the course anyway. So in the meantime, I'm just looking for a job, like so many other people.
   Anyway, since movies are what I talk about most often, I decided that's what my blog would mostly be dedicated to. Whenever I see a movie for the first time, I'll give a brief summary of my initial impressions.
   Why brief? Well, I'm not really one for trying to write full reviews after only one viewing; I used to do that on a website called Listal, and just found it too damn difficult. So I'll just settle for a brief summary of my first impressions for now, and if I see the movie again at some point further down the road, I'll do a full review. After all, I think most people will agree that the more times you see something, the clearer your impressions become, and the easier it is to write about.

   But of course it isn't just movies I'm interested in. My two other biggest passions are nature and technology.
   Ever since I was a little kid, I've always loved animals. I attribute it mainly to a Microsoft PC program called Dangerous Creatures. That game left a huge impression in my young mind, and I practically obsessed over it as a child. I have no desire to become a zoologist, though, for two reasons. One: I can't really see myself working in a lab (or in the field) to answer questions first-hand. And two: I studied biology for my Leaving Certificate (the Irish equivalent of the A-levels or whatever), and I realised that studying it in-depth like that just wasn't my scene.
   Dinosaurs were another of my obsessions in my young days, and still continue to be. But even as a kid, I never wanted to be a palaeontologist. It's a job that requires too much patience for me.
   And, again ever since I was a kid, I've always been highly computer literate. But again, I have no desire to become a computer engineer or anything, because, just like with biology, my expertise and comprehension only goes so far. Quite a few aspects of computers, and technology in general, just go right over my head. Still, I'm competent enough that I can usually help out my family and friends with any computer problems they may have! :)

   As for my taste in music… Well, I do love music, but I don't analyse it like I do with cinema. You know how most people adore music and have only a passing interest in movies? Well, for me, it's the other way round. I consider myself a casual music listener.
   I like just about every genre of music, and have a little bit of everything on my iPod, but most of my favourite songs and artists are from the rock scene.

   Well, I guess that should do for now. After all, I wouldn't want to write a full autobiography here! :)
   So I'll just finish by saying that, as a critic, my biggest inspiration is probably Doug Walker (best known as the Nostalgia Critic) – in fact, everyone on his website, ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com. Also James Rolfe (best known as the Angry Video Game Nerd), who's also probably my biggest filmmaking idol, Mark Kermode, the only mainstream critic I follow regularly, and the immortal double-act of Siskel and Ebert.

   So check in for the first impression comments to follow – and, I'm sure, full reviews further down the line.
   I'll see you later.


PS. Perhaps I should go over the rating system I use for movies.

100% = outstanding
90% = great
80% = very good
70% = good
60% = not bad
50% = okay
40% = mediocre
30% = poor
20% = dire
Turkey (10% or less) = atrocious

Or, here's another way to look at it:
100% + 90% = 5 stars (love it)
80% + 70% = 4 stars (like it)
60% + 50% = 3 stars (it's okay)
40% + 30% = 2 stars (don't like it)
20% + turkey = 1 star (hate it)

I may also give a movie a …5% rating. On websites like IMDb, I have no choice but to use a scale of one to ten, but a …5% rating means that, on my own personal system, I have a bit more trouble rounding it off to the allotted ten. For example, if I give a movie 95%, it could be either an exceptional 9/10 or a reluctant 10/10.